Personal Stories Archives - Page 17 of 35

They decided on abortion, the father’s feelings didn’t matter

In her book, Teri Stanon describes how when her daughter Sheri became pregnant, they did not care about the feelings of the baby’s father. They decided on abortion without consulting him:

“Once Sheri’s pregnancy was discovered, the baby’s father was totally unnoticed and unrecognized. He was not made a part of the decision-making process that was flying all around him like a cyclone without a brain. Nobody asked him how he felt, or what he thought, let alone what he wanted for his baby. Worse yet, nobody cared.… We just, unintentionally, removed him from the whole event like he was somehow a nonentity in Sheri’s life or the life of their child.”

Teri Stanton Two Minus One: Our Abortion Story (Meadville, PA: Christian faith Publishing, Inc., 2016) 33 – 34

As in many cases, the father never had any say in whether his child would be aborted.

Read about men and abortion regret.

Sheri and her mother both came to regret the abortion.

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Postabortion father: “a piece of our love died”

From a man whose partner had an abortion:

“It is something from me as well as from her that is taken away. It is like a piece of our love that is removed and that we have to rebuild.”

Vivian Wahlberg Memories After Abortion (Oxford: Radcliffe Publishing, 2007) 51

Studies have shown that up to 70 – 80 % of relationship break up following an abortion.

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Woman who regrets her abortion attends pro-abortion demonstration

A woman who regretted her abortion went to a pro-choice demonstration holding a sign saying “I regret choosing abortion.” She describes being ignored by the pro-abortion demonstrators

In January 2002, when NOW and Planned Parenthood held their annual candlelight vigil for “choice” on the Supreme Court steps, Ms. Forney stood quietly on the sidelines with a sign that said, “I regret choosing abortion.”

“It was almost an experiment to see who would express compassion. One woman said to me, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way.’ But no one else in that crowd offered me a hand. No one cared to reach out to me one iota. I knew in that moment that these people did not care about women’s rights. They cared about abortion rights.”

Lynn Vincent “Victims of their own choice” World Magazine April 09, 2005

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20 years after abortion, father confronts his guilt

From Evan, a post-abortion father, whose partner had an abortion 20 years ago:

“I didn’t pressure my girlfriend to have an abortion, but I knew if I actually thought about what I was doing, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Was I really murdering my first child? Yes, but I didn’t want to look at it in those terms, so I stayed cold and numb and drove her to the clinic to get it “taken care of,” as they say. As I study human history and the atrocities of the past, like the slave ships going to England in the 1800s or even the Nazis, I wonder how these people lived with themselves. Now I understand. However, you can only shut it off for so long – eventually you have to come face-to-face with the truth…

The writer of the iconic song “Amazing Grace” was a former captain of a slave ship for many years… He could no longer live with the pain and he came face-to-face with God’s forgiveness. It was then that he wrote the song…

My “Amazing Grace moment” came when I was married (not to the abortion girlfriend) and my then seven-year-old son asked a simple question. In our house we sing and dance, and I have little raps that I did with my children. The one with my son had a line that said “You’re my one and only, my only son.” Simple enough, until my son looked me in the eye and said, “Am I your only son, daddy?” This simple and innocent question pierced my soul; everything that I had suppressed for the past 20 years came rushing upon me. Did I dare answer with the truth? “I don’t know, son, I murdered my first child before I found out if it was a boy or girl.” It was at this moment I had to confront the truth and ask for forgiveness from my bride, from God, and then from the most important person, myself.”

Jeanne G Miller Lives Interrupted: the Unwanted Pregnancy Dilemma (Tyler, Texas, 2014) 119 – 120

More quotes from men who were affected by abortion

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Postabortion man: I can only cope when I’m drunk

A letter from a postabortion man who wrote to an author writing a book on abortion:

“I’m a bit drunk – it’s the only way I can cope with thoughts about the abortion. Twelve years on, here we are battling with the results of not one but two abortions. Talk about being fucked-up. Even now my wife will only admit to one of the abortions. She felt compelled to go through with the abortions because of her family and the hurt she might cause them. We were young, romantic and “in love”…The Pill made her ill and condoms weren’t romantic….we weren’t married at the time. Today we are awaiting an appointment with a psychiatrist to try and sort out our heads. Oh, the regrets. And oh, the pain.”

He did not leave his name.

Quoted in Mary Kenny Abortion: The Whole Story (London: Quartet Books, 1986) 86

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Father of aborted baby talks about his grief

From a man whose girlfriend had an abortion:

“Jenny rang me as soon as she had a chance to take the test. “I think I’m pregnant,” she said. Those words hit me like a sledgehammer. Her next words left me trembling: “I’ve decided to have an abortion”.

I offered to come over so that we could talk things through. “There’s nothing more to say,” she said icily. I tried to reply but she cut me off. “I don’t want this baby and it’s my choice to make. Do you understand me?” …

I assured her that I would be there for her and that we could find a way to give our child a meaningful life.….

I had quickly come to terms with the prospect of parenthood, before fighting in vain to save the life I helped create. Nothing can describe the profound sense of powerlessness that comes with watching someone terminate a life that you helped create. I felt alone in a sea of pain, desperate to keep afloat.

Despite my best efforts, Jenny went through with the abortion. The pregnancy was over and, weeks later, so was our relationship. …

Wounds do heal over time – even deep ones – but scars remain. Eight years later, I find myself incredibly blessed with a beautiful, bright and loving wife, a 19-month-old son and a daughter due in January. At times, I can’t help but look into my son’s deep grey-blue eyes and wonder what his older brother or sister might have been like.

Sadly, my story is not unique; other men have experienced the same anguish.”

Tony Perry “‘I wish I could have prevented my girlfriend’s abortion’ The Telegraph 12 Sep 2014

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Woman who conceived in rape talks about her son

From a woman who gave birth to her son after a brutal rape:

“Society says, “Who wants this child?”, “Who wants these memories?”, “Do you realize whose kid I’d be keeping?!”, “I don’t want that tied to me!” Even Christians have said these things and yet many have loved and wanted AJ; they can’t help but be drawn to him!

There are those who think abortion is okay, that absolutely adore AJ, and cannot imagine me not having him regardless of how he was conceived. He captures people’s hearts in special ways, and his biological origins or how it happened don’t even matter. Pro-life and pro-choice people alike, who know me and who know him, would be horrified if I said about him what people say about the unborn babies. They know that my son is someone of great worth….

I am so proud of my son and the love he emanates. I am proud of how strong he is (and was in the womb). I am proud of the joy he brings into people’s lives and how inclusive he is.

I didn’t see it coming when I was pregnant and being abused by someone in premeditative, torturous ways. There is so much I didn’t see, but much I honestly feared and wanted to run away from. The problems, shame, and fear was all I could see at the time, but when I had my son, it changed. I changed. My feelings changed. My circumstances changed. I could see clearer how what I once thought before, wasn’t even applicable to me as I held my precious, sweet, baby. Oh how I loved him!…

The memories I dealt with after leaving my ex-husband, [her abuser and rapist] and deal with now, I would have dealt with anyway…baby or no baby. We don’t always know what the future holds but statistics have shown that having an abortion after being raped actually leads to a higher risk for suicide as well as even more pained memories (more so, if the mother had carried the baby conceived in rape to term). So, to make a decision on killing a baby in the womb because we think everything is going to turn out a certain way, or a better way, is often very misleading. When I look at my son, I see him. I feel the same love that any mother does. I don’t see the memories or the pain. I don’t feel regret or hurt. I feel freedom, and I feel blessed.”

ROBYN MCLEAN “My Son Was Conceived in Rape, But That Doesn’t Define His Value or His Humanity” LifeNews JUL 17, 2014

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Students change their minds on abortion after seeing pictures

The Center for Bioethical Reform quoted the following students whose minds were changed on abortion after seeing graphic photos of aborted babies on their campus:

“I have just changed my mind!” concluded another student who had begun her conversation by saying abortion might be a viable choice for other women.

A male student said, “I had no idea this is what abortion was – they are so tiny – and that is a hand!”

Another student said, “It’s gruesome. I didn’t know how developed it [the baby’s body] is so early.” She went on to say, “People do need to see this; maybe they will make different decisions.””….

Large numbers of students accepted our literature and dialogued with our team. Many were quite open-minded.

In contrast, a pro-abortion professor came out to scream and profanely vent her anger about GAP’s presence. Police intervened and repeatedly directed her to take her complaint to the administrative office.”

De’Ja CookBrown, a sophomore communication major, “It opened my eyes to the situation. It gave viewers a different way to see it. The pictures were graphic, but sometimes it may take that to get a point across, especially for something as big as life.”

“Taking Abortion Reality to Carolina Universities” CBR Communique 2015 October

You can see some of the pictures they were talking about here.

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Pro-Life Sidewalk Counselor Speaks Out

A prolife volunteer talks about sidewalk counseling outside an abortion clinic:

What we witnessed during the last 40 days at the Margaret Sanger Center Planned Parenthood in downtown Manhattan is typical of what our sidewalk counselors see 365 days a year and what other local 40 Days for Life campaigns experience across the country.

Women come to the clinic for an abortion, usually accompanied by a friend, boyfriend or husband. The pro-life sidewalk counselors hand out brochures explaining the many local resources available for pregnant women in need, including: housing; financial, medical and legal support; help with education and employment; and, equally as important, friendship.

Some of the women stop and talk to the sidewalk counselors. While each story is different, the common thread is that these women are afraid. Not afraid of the people praying for them across the street, but afraid of how their lives will change with a baby. Are we really “empowering” women by encouraging them to give in to this fear and abort their child? It certainly doesn’t seem so after spending 40 days watching women leave the abortion clinic hours after their appointment, clutching their abdomen, dejected, crying, barely able to walk down the street (or even worse, carried out on a stretcher and into an ambulance, as we witnessed on October 14th)….

The only people screaming outside the Margaret Sanger Center Planned Parenthood in Manhattan are the passersby who see us praying and immediately react with anger and insults

Jill Gadwood “Volunteering at an Abortion Clinic, from the Other Side of the Street” March for Life blog December 8, 2015

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Counselor: men don’t get through abortion “unscathed”

In an article by a counselor:

“People may be relieved after abortion, and utterly convinced of the rightness of the action they’ve taken, but no one rejoices. Abortion is a difficult experience for everyone concerned. That includes men. A man may escape the physical trauma, but it’s unlikely they’ll come through unscathed.”

Bruce Rappaport, a counselor in San Francisco

Carol Lynn Mithers “Abortion: Are Men There Would Women Need Them Most?” Mademoiselle, April 1981, P230

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