Birth mother says adoption brought her “joy”, new family

A birth mother wrote:

“As I look back at my pregnancy, one thing sticks out to me more than anything else – FEAR. Fear of the adoptive parents not taking care of my baby. Fear that once the adoptive parents had my baby they might leave me and never talk to me again. Fear that placing my baby for adoption would be too painful for me and I wouldn’t be able to do it. Fear that I would never get over the emotional pain and sadness. However, I can honestly say all those worries are gone – every single one of them has been replaced with joy.

Parents want the best for their children and I can say with 100 percent certainty that I gave my daughter the absolute best I could when I placed her into Mark and Bethany’s loving home. Open adoption has been an immense blessing in my life. Unlike abortion, I didn’t lose my baby. With open adoption, I gained a family and so can any woman facing an unplanned pregnancy.”

Caroline Carver “Birth mom praises open adoption: ‘All my fears were replaced with joy’” Live Action News May 29, 2019

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Young woman glad she chose adoption over abortion

A young woman who had originally wanted an abortion put her baby up for adoption instead. Her story was told in the Grand Rapids Press:

“I decided right away I wanted my baby to be adopted. Adoption was right because I was only 16 and worked at Domino’s Pizza and, despite how grown-up I had to be for the next months, I wasn’t grown-up enough to raise a baby…..

Laila was born on May 23. That was the hardest day of my life — physically and emotionally. Laila Noelle was born at 5:34 p.m. She was a beautiful 6 pounds 9 ounces and 19 3/4 inches long. Holding her and having her look at me with her big dark eyes made me cry, because I almost had had an abortion…..

I thought I wanted an abortion, because it seemed like something you could just do and never worry about again. But, in my experience, I think about my baby all the time and I’m really happy to know she is here.”

Anje Schepers, a teenage girl from Grand Rapids who made an adoption plan for her child after trying to get an abortion.

Quoted at Jivin’Jehoshaphat

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Abortion clinic worker calls adoption “violent”

Abortion clinic counselor Joss Shawyer compared:

“the traumatic results of adoptions with the comparatively simple remedy of early, safe abortion. In my view, there is no contest… Adoption is a violent act, a political act of aggression toward a woman who has supposedly offended the sexual mores by committing the unforgivable act of not suppressing her sexuality.”

Marvin Olasky “The War on Adoption” National Review June 7, 1993

Below: Abortion at 10 weeks. Is it really adoption that is violent?


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Women have negative views of adoption

Mary Beth Seader of the National Committee for Adoption:

“Birthmothers encounter individuals constantly throughout their pregnancy, whether friends or strangers, who state their uninformed but emotional opinions about adoption. Birthmothers are called anything from irresponsible, to cold and heartless, and seemingly transgress cultural norms.…

When you mention adoption to a girl, she thinks right away of foster homes. And there is not a girl I talk to who wants her baby in a foster home. [When she asks clients] “What happens to a baby in adoption?” They commonly respond, “No one will love my baby.””

Mary Beth Seader Pregnancy Counseling: Traditional and Experimental Practices, National Committee for Adoption, 11

Quoted in Susan Olasky, Marvin Olasky More than Kindness: A Compassionate Approach to Crisis Childbearing (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway books, 1990)

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Adoption worker: counselors see adoption as a failure

BJ Williams, adoption director for San Diego Pregnancy Services, explains how many  counselors are biased against adoption:

“So many counselors believe that only someone who doesn’t love the child will place for adoption. Adoption is looked on as a failure, a last-ditch effort.”

Susan Olasky, Marvin Olasky More than Kindness: A Compassionate Approach to Crisis Childbearing (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway books, 1990) 55


Is adoption a better choice than abortion for a baby like this one?

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Letter to a birth mother from a young man

When you read this young man’s letter to a birth mother, keep in mind that if not for her brave choice he would’ve been one of the 1.3 million babies aborted every year.

“My adopted parents owned a small organic farm and vegetable stand. All of their children worked there growing up. I know how to drive a tractor and how to get up at 5:30 in the morning and love it… I am healthy and taller than anyone in my adopted family. Those height genes were very helpful growing up with three brothers who were older than me.

I did well in school in everything – except biology. That subject was never my forte. Apparently I can eat fried frog’s legs, but I cannot cut them up. History was my favorite subject. I still love books about history, and my favorite television station is the History Channel. I played basketball and soccer all through high school. I graduated at the top of my class. I received a scholarship to a college for playing the Bassoon.… My band teacher told me to master an instrument that nobody wanted to play and that would almost guarantee a scholarship… So if you ever need a Bassoon player who knows how to drive a tractor, I’m your man.

I’m currently a business major in school and hope to go on to get my MBA. I hope to one day own a profitable hydroponics form. I know it sounds crazy, but it has been a dream of mine ever since our family visited Epcot years ago.

Since I was about seven years old, I like to build models. Airplanes, cars, trucks, whatever I can put together I love to do…..

Please know that I am at peace with you and have great love for you… I know that I was born in a time when many children did not survive. I know that you had a choice, and I’m so very thankful you chose to give me life.”

Mike G Williams Thank You for Saving My Life (2016) 42 – 44, 47

This touching letter to a birth mother gives details of the young man’s life story. This life story would not exist if his mother had an abortion. The children in the wombs of mothers considering abortion are human beings. If allowed to grow up, they will be people like you and me. This letter to a birth mother shows that life is precious. Adoption is an answer everyone can live with.

 letter to a birth mother

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Pregnant girls considering adoption face “disapproval”

An article explains that few teens choose adoption because they are pressured not to. There is “disapproval” of the adoption choice.

“Despite almost universal verbal disapproval, some girls had in fact considered adoption, but the resultant community and familial pressures against it were so pervasive that they were unable to carry through with their plans.”

Maris Vinovskis “An “Epidemic” of Adolescent Pregnancy? (New York: Oxford University Press, 1988) 221

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