20 years after abortion, father confronts his guilt

From Evan, a post-abortion father, whose partner had an abortion 20 years ago:

“I didn’t pressure my girlfriend to have an abortion, but I knew if I actually thought about what I was doing, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Was I really murdering my first child? Yes, but I didn’t want to look at it in those terms, so I stayed cold and numb and drove her to the clinic to get it “taken care of,” as they say. As I study human history and the atrocities of the past, like the slave ships going to England in the 1800s or even the Nazis, I wonder how these people lived with themselves. Now I understand. However, you can only shut it off for so long – eventually you have to come face-to-face with the truth…

The writer of the iconic song “Amazing Grace” was a former captain of a slave ship for many years… He could no longer live with the pain and he came face-to-face with God’s forgiveness. It was then that he wrote the song…

My “Amazing Grace moment” came when I was married (not to the abortion girlfriend) and my then seven-year-old son asked a simple question. In our house we sing and dance, and I have little raps that I did with my children. The one with my son had a line that said “You’re my one and only, my only son.” Simple enough, until my son looked me in the eye and said, “Am I your only son, daddy?” This simple and innocent question pierced my soul; everything that I had suppressed for the past 20 years came rushing upon me. Did I dare answer with the truth? “I don’t know, son, I murdered my first child before I found out if it was a boy or girl.” It was at this moment I had to confront the truth and ask for forgiveness from my bride, from God, and then from the most important person, myself.”

Jeanne G Miller Lives Interrupted: the Unwanted Pregnancy Dilemma (Tyler, Texas, 2014) 119 – 120

More quotes from men who were affected by abortion

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About Sarah

Sarah is a member of the board of The Pro-life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians.
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