College student pressured into abortion by boyfriend

A college student had an abortion after her boyfriend demanded it. Her boyfriend was older than her and wealthy. She was 5  weeks along:

“When I found out I was pregnant he told me that I was gonna have an abortion and that it was still an egg and not a baby yet it shouldn’t be hard. He said I tricked him into getting pregnant. After a week of knowing I was pregnant, I went to the women’s clinic and aborted the baby through the medical procedure.

I was given the pill that was gonna stop the pregnancy and another set of 4 pills I had to take at home the next day. After taking the pills at home, I started feeling so much pain, pain I’ve never experienced. It was as if I was in labour. I was all alone. He wasn’t there for me, the day I went to the clinic he just gave me money and sent me one of his drivers.

He didn’t care how I felt. I hate myself for allowing him to scare me, a lot of women do it alone. My family would have supported me. Now I cry everyday because I want my baby.”

The story can be found here.

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Woman who took abortion pill devastated after seeing her dead baby

A woman named Natalia told her story of taking the abortion pill in a video released by March for Life UK

This is her story:

“My name is Natalia. I’m 20, and it was in March last year that I found out I was pregnant, just at the start of lockdown. I can remember the day. It was really, really sunny and I’m driving to my friends house. We were just sitting in her garden and stuff. And it was actually like two days – I should’ve had my period two days prior. So I was a little bit late. So she was just [saying], “Why don’t you just take a test?” And there’s a test kit across the road…

I’ve come outside now with the test, and I’ve given it to her, like, “Will you look for me?” And it comes up with the two lines.… I felt so sick. I felt so sick. I started throwing up, I think. It’s a bit of a blur.…She rang my baby’s father and told him…

My initial reaction was, I just wanted it to go away… I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. I think that night, I must’ve – because he was a couple hours away – must’ve driven all the way to where he was living, and I don’t think we said much, to be honest, at that time. But I think the initial, kind of, thoughts of both of us were that we weren’t going to keep the child.

But then as time went on, I was talking to different people, different friends, and stuff like that. I think as time went on I kind of accepted the idea… In a weird way, I kind of felt this kind of attachment, this kind of love for my child that I didn’t even know. But at the same time, I didn’t want to get comfortable with the idea, because I knew the baby’s father was so against me having it and all of that. It was almost like I was scared to talk, and stick up for what I thought. Every time I brought it up, I was always shut down. Everyone would tell me I can’t do it; I’m stupid. That this is going to ruin my life. All of my friends, I think, but one, were so against it. So I think I reached out to the wrong people.

I had people in my life that I could’ve gone to, like my mom. I chose not to. I was just scared. You have all this fear inside you that – it’s just so scary…
It’s all kind of a blur. You can’t remember dates and times… I was making these appointments to go into the clinic and get this abortion. I can’t really remember it that well, but the first time I went, I remember I went to the door and I just burst into tears. And I actually had my baby’s father with me, but he wasn’t allowed to come in because of COVID.… That set me off. I just started crying. And they didn’t give me the abortion pills that time. So I left.

They said, come back when you want to do another appointment. So obviously, I rang back.

[The] same thing happened, but he didn’t come with me. So I missed another appointment.… And then on the third time I went in. I can’t really remember the consultation… All I can remember [was that] it was quite cold. There weren’t any emotions, really, from the nurses. I remember them all being masked up and stuff, and it was quite scary. So in the end, because I was – I was in a state the whole time. They said, okay, well if you want to have this abortion, and you’d feel more comfortable at home, we’ll give you the pill to take home. So then they gave me the pills to take home…

They gave me in a massive – because it’s quite a few pills you have to take, it’s not just one – this massive envelope thing. It just sat like – I would carry them with me. It was really weird.… The nurse said to take them that night. Obviously, I didn’t. They just stayed with me. And there were quite a few attempts… I was going to take them, but it never sat right with me. I never wanted to take them.

By my last consultation, I was about seven weeks pregnant. In those three consultations, I was never told about the risks that there are emotionally and physically. I wasn’t aware of them. I was never offered a scan, so it was never like they actually knew how far along I was. It’s just crazy now that I look back on it, and I just think how I was even able to take those tablets home. I mean, for all they know I could’ve been so far gone [that] it could’ve caused some serious damage.

When I brought the tablets first home with me, I was about seven weeks. I didn’t actually know that at the time. I was just kind of lost – I lost track of time so I didn’t actually know how many weeks I was. But those tablets sat with me for about three weeks, and there were countless occasions when I look at them and say, well today’s going to be the day that I take them. And then I would just put it off and off and off… It was almost like I was prolonging it. I wanted my baby’s father to be like, “No, it’s all right, we can keep it.”

[At this point, she breaks down in tears]

It’s so sad to say it now. I was doing anything to please him. I never thought about my child… It was countless occasions where he’d be like, well, “if you keep it, I’m not going to stay with you.” It was stupid. Why didn’t I just leave him? But it’s fear. You’re scared. And not only that. You have so many other views of people… giving their opinion. I never asked for their opinion… I’m too young. I’m going to ruin this, I’m going to ruin that, you know what I mean? It’s ruined me now, so it’s like, what was it really for?

So, I was in my friend’s garden. I remember the day. At that point, my baby’s father wasn’t speaking to me. I remember, almost like a state of panic, that he was going to leave. It sounds so stupid. And I was with my friends in the garden. They were just saying, you’re an idiot, just take them. Just take them.

It took me like three hours to even take those tablets with a water bottle. And there was a water bottle, the lid of the water bottle. And they put water in the lid, and the tablet in the lid, just to dissolve it for me because I couldn’t physically take it.

[Breaks down]

My friends were telling me that I just needed to take it. Looking back on it, it’s like, I can’t believe I listened to them. It’s almost like I was manipulated into it. I don’t know why they didn’t stop me. Why they couldn’t see that I was hurting. I remember saying so many times, “don’t make me do it. I don’t want to do it.” Not to just them, but [to] other people as well.

[Drank the dissolved tablet]

After I got home, and I was just in my room – you have to wait until the next day, and then you have four other tablets, that you actually have to stick up, one by one, like, right up there. I went back to that same girl’s house – I went back to that house – and did one by one, in her garden, because it was locked.

And it was that night that the physical aspect of it all started. So I’ve gone back home, I’ve taken five tablets now, one orally, four up, and I remember, I had to wait and then take another tablet later on that night. I had to wait till 1 AM… I was just so scared.

I felt so alone during that whole pregnancy, but that was hard. That night was so hard. I remember just saying, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I remember, I had my laptop on my bed, and I was watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians the first season, because I was just trying to get my mind off everything that was happening. I think the pill that I took at 1 AM – I remember throwing that up at the side of my bed. And I was worried it wasn’t working – I didn’t sleep.

I remember the time. It was about 5 AM when it first started happening. Really, in the grand scheme of things, the physical pain is nothing. It’s nothing to do with that – but I know people are going to want to know whether it’s painful. Of course it’s painful… It feels like you’re being stabbed in the stomach. I had to be quiet because my mom was in the house, with my sister. I didn’t want to wake anyone up. I remember somehow getting to the toilet. It was unbearable, the pain.

That’s when I passed my baby. And I looked down, and I saw him. It was like a heavy period. It was like a baby. I looked down, and I looked up, and I can’t look anymore… It’s a child. It’s not like a bit of blood.

I must have flushed the toilet. I passed my baby into the toilet. [I] flushed it. I didn’t know what I was doing. I remember just falling to my knees. Everything get so blurry. I got into my bedroom. I [was] throwing up again. I’m taking all of these Codeines, but they’re just coming up. And then I just lay in my bed. And I was just bleeding through the mattress. And I just lay there for about three days on my own, not wanting to speak to anyone. Just all alone. On my own. Just trying my hardest not to think about what was happening.

After I threw up the pill, the one I took at 1 AM, I must’ve rang the clinic. I left a voicemail and said, I’ve taken this last pill, but I don’t know if it’s going to work because I threw it straight back up.… And then I switched my phone off for a few days. And when I switched it back on, there were so many voicemails and stuff. So I rang them back and the nurse, or whoever picked up the phone, was like, “we were just ringing to check on you because you were over the 10 weeks when you’re allowed to take these tablets. And you over the 10 weeks, and we were worried that you would’ve lost a lot more blood and it would’ve been a lot more, kind of, painful. But at that point it was already done. I already done it; been through it all, and she – that was it.

I remember asking her on the phone, like, I wasn’t going to be able to have more children, because I thought I would ruin the chances of that because I was – I didn’t know – I didn’t know what I was doing. I’d taken it too late, or whatever. And she was like, no, no, everything’s going to be fine, don’t worry. And that’s where the phone call ended.

After that phone call to the nurse, I didn’t have any contact. No one rang me or anything, to see if I was all right. That was it. I just had to deal with it on my own from then.

So, during my whole pregnancy I was – I kept it so quiet in the house, when I was feeling sick, or I would go to throw up. No one knew. I don’t know how I got away with it. I just did a really good job of hiding it. And that was the same with those three days. My mom’s a nurse, so she was, obviously, working. I think she just thought I was having a couple of off days. And just not wanting to come out of my room and stuff. Me and my sister aren’t close anyway, so it’s not like she even noticed. She’s in her room and I’m in mine. But it was on the third day – or I can’t remember how many days that

I come out of my room and I’ve gone to the shop and I’ve come back, and I went to sit on the sofa with my mom. And she looked me in the eyes, and she was, like, she started crying. She’s like, “You’ve had an abortion, haven’t you?” And all that time, I just wanted to tell her. But it was almost like, I was waiting for her to say, this is what you’re going through – because she’s so good at reading my mind. She’s so good. I was just kind of waiting for her to [say] “you’re pregnant.” Or say something like that. …

I just burst into tears, and she was really really amazing. She obviously had gotten into my room and just seen the pools of blood and stuff, so that’s how she found out. She was just so mortified in herself that she hadn’t come to me and asked if I was all right… She knew I was going through something, but she thought it was relationship stuff. That’s why I’d been up and down.… She kind of kicks herself about it… But it wasn’t her fault. How would she have known?

So I got to October time that same year, and I was just scrolling through the Internet the way you do. I was searching about abortions and people’s experiences and stuff like that. I’d never been given any kind of support or aftercare kind of thing…

Most of my friends had had abortions. They kind of bounced back to their normal lives. So I felt very alone. I was having all of these emotions, and I felt like I shouldn’t be having them… I felt a lot of guilt and shame. But I found Rachel’s Vineyard. And I remember the first phone call when I phoned Rachel, who is the organizer – it just felt like the right thing to do. It felt like God was calling me to do it… I just felt this massive relief, although the pain doesn’t go away. It was just – it was nice to know that there were others who felt the same, who’d gone through the same traumatic experiences…

I just wish I knew everything that I know now back then. I would tell that poor girl to leave that guy straightaway. I wouldn’t question if I was going to keep the child or not. It’s not a natural thing. Every woman’s got that motherly instinct to look after and care for what’s theirs. So if there was any woman or man who was going through similar – or who is pro-choice, just to really think about it. It’s not just a group of cells. It is actually a baby, because I’ve seen it. It’s not what they tell you it is. It is a life.”

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“Feminist” says her abortion brought her “pain” and “loss”

From a post-abortive woman who describes herself as “a feminist, a leftist, a liberally-educated eternal student” in her blog:

“I lost a baby, a baby that never got a name. Lost it on purpose, days after the thirty-fifth anniversary of Roe v. Wade. It was my first, one accident dropped into years of carefulness. I had wanted it in an abstract way for several years, but it came at a time that wasn’t right, and it didn’t have the father I would want to raise a child with. The feminist in me shrinks away from talking about the pain of that loss. Even though my heart believes I sent it back so it could return at a better time, there’s fountain of pain and a kind of aloneness I had never experienced that seems to gush interminably.

The interminable is relative, of course. Time has passed. I cry less. My body that for five weeks swelled in anticipation fits into my clothes again. I’m no longer avoiding the hugs of friends to protect my sore breasts.

I dream about the baby, the one with no name. In the dreams, I am overwhelmed with trying to find someone to help me care for it, of hearing it call the babysitter “mama” because its mother can never be there. When this happens, I feel like I made the right choice for myself and the children that will come. But I still grieve.”

She took the abortion pill at Planned Parenthood and describes her experience:

“I asked if I’d feel sick before taking the second round. It’s unlikely, they said. I woke up vomiting, and I vomited all day until I wished I were dead, especially knowing that I had to take pills that *do* cause nausea and vomiting. Severe cramping, bleeding, and more vomiting ensued within 30 minutes of taking the misoprostol. That was when I wished I could change my mind and have a surgical procedure instead. The unbearable pain continued for several hours, but eventually I was able to rest. I’ve since read in some forums that it goes on for hours and hours for some women. I can’t even imagine.

A week later, I was experiencing significant pain and a fever, so I went back to PP. There, they diagnosed a uterine infection and gave me more antibiotics… Now I worry that the infection may have done enough damage to make conception difficult in the future. It’s really terrifying. And there’s nothing I can do about it. So, I’m taking care of myself, trying to get better, crying when I feel like it.”

The right choice’ leads to a ‘fountain of pain‘ The Dawn Patrol  February 7, 2008

Visited August 4, 2019

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Man describes girlfriend “writhing in pain” after taking abortion pill

The boyfriend of one young girl describes what happened after his girlfriend took the second of two abortion pills:

‘The day she took the final pill and came back to my flat to wait for it to pass truly drew a new line in the sand. The hours of pain she suffered, it utterly ripped me apart to see her writhing in agony, interspersed with trips to the toilet as the process started. It culminated in one trip from which she didn’t return, all I heard was sobs, drained of energy she couldn’t even cry with the force the pain deserved. I soon discovered that it wasn’t the pain the sobs were for, it was for what she had seen in the toilet. A recognisable shape. Then flushed away.’

Philippa Taylor “Boyfriend Recalls Partner Seeing Her Aborted Baby in the Toilet: “A Recognizable Shape, Then Flushed AwayLifeNews SEP 14, 2018

The abortion pill is used up to 10 weeks. Here is what a 9-10 week preborn baby looks like

9-10 week old potential victim of abortion
9-10 week old potential victim of abortion
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“I felt the most pain I have felt in my life”

Anastasia Wansbrough describes her abortion by pills in an article in Vice. The article said:

“Anastasia Wansbrough lived through a veritable horror show when she had a medical abortion in 2013.”

She did not bleed for two months, then went in for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that the baby was dead, but still inside her. Then she began to bleed.

Vice says:

“Painful cramps coursed through her; she took an extra strength Tylenol as the doctor recommended.”

Wansbrough describes her ordeal:

“I was wearing a tampon at the time when all of sudden the power of a contraction pushed the tampon out and blood splattered all over the floor. There was constant pain but at every 60 second mark I felt the most pain I have felt in my life. I couldn’t cry, I could barely moan. It left me breathless.”

Kate McKenna “Harrowing Experiences of Medical Abortions on Canada’s Prince Edward Island Renews Criticism” Vice News May 26, 2015

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Woman describes painful abortion by pill

One woman who had an abortion by pill described the pain in an article in the Washington Post:

“It was one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had. Not only were the cramps really bad, I was sweating and had a headache. I threw up at one point. It was pretty bad.”

The abortion pill failed the first time and she had to take it again.

Rob Stein “As Abortion Rate Drops, Use of RU-486 Is on RiseWashington Post January 22, 2008

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Abortion by pill was “excruciating” says post-abortion woman

Maggie wrote about her experience of an abortion by pill:

“[T]he next day I crawled into bed with my boyfriend, put on my super cool adult diapers, inserted the pills, and put on some Game of Thrones. And let me fucking tell you, it was excruciating, like… I honestly believed I could go into shock kind of pain. These cramps radiated throughout my whole body to the point where I could barely breathe. I actually cut my palms on my nails from clenching my fists so hard. But once it was done, it was done.”

Casey Gueren “Here’s What It’s Really Like To Have An AbortionBuzzfeed January 21, 2017

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Woman who took abortion pill: “I was lied to!”

Nelle, who had an abortion by pill, wrote that she was 6 weeks pregnant when she went to Planned Parenthood for an abortion:

“The ENTIRE time I was there I was told LIES! They said, “There are no real risks, this is like a period, light cramping, it’ll all be over within 2 days.” They assured me I didn’t have to do anything. I didn’t want to!…

They gave me a packet full of information and only went over the first page….I asked a Million Questions. Planned Parenthood assured me I was going to be fine, and it would all be over in 2 days….

Of course, I had to read the packet they didn’t go over with me, and inside it said I might bleed for up to 3 weeks. 3 WEEKS!

No one actually says that you BLEED FOR WEEKS! NO ONE!

That would have been great to know beforehand. I would have NEVER opted for this method if I knew that vital piece of information.

I had asked multiple nurses and they assured me it would all be clear within a few days!….

Anyway, it hurt like crazy and I have never been more nauseated and in pain in my life. I was a sweaty, bloody, crying mess. The cramping was pretty bad for me but it was the fact of feeling the chunks fall out of you. I sat on the toilet and eventually put on a maxi pad and sat on the couch. It was about 3-4 hours of cramping until it came out….

They assure you there is literally zero risk and that it is quick, private, and like a period. Which is all a lie!…

I was completely misinformed and lied to. I feel very manipulated.”

She is still pro-choice.

Nelle’s Story” Abortion Pill Risks

Visited July 7, 2018

 

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Woman who had abortion by pill: the pain was terrible

Tracy had an abortion by pill. She says:

“It took five hours. The pain was terrible; I’d never been through pain like that before. I tried to hold it in, but tears just kept falling all the time. I was vomiting, but nothing was coming up, because I’d had nothing to eat.”

Melanie Symonds, Phyllis Bowman And Still They Weep: Personal Stories of Abortion (The SPUC Educational Research Trust, 1996) 128

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Woman says medical abortion was not “quick fix”

One woman wrote:

“When I got pregnant, my boyfriend and I decided the nonsurgical method was best because I could end my pregnancy at home… my nonsurgical procedure was not the quick fix I wanted – for my body or for my heart.”

Mary Eberstadt “No Video, Please: We’re Killing Something” National Review August 24, 2015

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