Category: Women’s Stories

“After loving my children I can’t believe what I have done and I often find myself in depression with no one to turn to….”

HI, I had an abortion when I was about 16 years old. I am now 26. My mother found out I was pregnant and made me have an abortion. I didn’t know what to do. I woke up each morning thinking I was in a bad dream. I was so young I didn’t even know what was going on or what my opinion should even be on abortion. I was forced to have one because it would ruin my life and embarrass
the family.

I got pregnant again at the age of 19 and my parents didn’t know so I had another abortion. I was kind of made to think it was a way of life. A woman waiting to get an abortion with me asked me why I was getting one, because I was plenty old enough to have one. I didn’t even let her words faze me. She had three children already and now I wonder why she was there, too.

At the age of 23 I had got pregnant again. I decided to have my baby. I never would regret my decision on giving her life. I do how ever regret not giving my two unborn children a chance. I was young and naive. I have recently had my fourth pregnancy. I give my abortions allot of thought. My mother was not happy for me when I announced I was having a baby, either time. Although, she is thrilled to death that they are here. I feel she made me to think that being pregnant is not a good thing. Like it’s some evil state to be in. After loving my children I can’t believe what I have done and I often find myself in depression with no one to turn to. My husband today is the same person I have been with through all my pregnancies. He tries to make me see that It was okay. That I did what I had to do. I don’t know if he tells me this to prevent me from further going into insanity. They were also a part of him. I will never support abortion. I was pro- choice but I have learned that pro-life is the right and only choice. When your young and don’t want to be pregnant you don’t think of that little being in the same way as when you do when you grow older. If my girls get pregnant young, I hope I have the strength to stand by a decision we can all live
with.

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“I’m only writing because I wish I had saw (sic) those pictures before I aborted my child.”

I thought I was doing the right thing and had all of the correct information I was so wrong. I saw pamphlets on how abortion is safe and where you can go get one but never any pamphlets with information like this. Now today I sit here and wonder was it a boy or was it a girl? Was he or she gonna have blue eyes or green eyes? Was he or she gonna have blonde hair or brown hair. Anyway that is all I can do is sit here and wonder because 3 years ago I was selfish and only thought of myself not the child that was growing inside me God only knows the answer to those questions I sure don’t because I was to selfish to give my child the right to live I had the right to choose but did my child? NO!!! I took that from him or her! How I only wish I had all the information or saw that video three years ago! I can only hope and pray that someday God will forgive me and I also pray for that little life that I killed!

C E

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To all who haven’t decided…

My due date is 3 days from now… November 29. I would be huge right now… I would be happy. Please, don’t do this. It is a lie. If you have even 1% doubt or have ever thought you couldn’t do this, then please don’t. I am telling you
right now, this is the most painful thing I have ever had to go through, and it is far from over. I am 20 years old. I got pregnant after being with my boyfriend for about one month. I didn’t want to get the abortion, but my boyfriend thought I should. I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for by beliefs. I can’t blame anyone, and I am not trying to. I am simply saying that there are so many more options. This will never go away. I can never take it back. I can never have my baby. I not only took away my child’s life, but also every other person my sweet babies life would have effected. I wish I could have read this 9 months ago. I wish that I would have known… please, don’t pass up your chance to give the most beautiful gift you could… life.

Elaina

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please to anyone who reads this, this is a guilt you will live with for the rest of your life and when and if you ever do have children you will look at them and and ask your self what if ?

Hi my name is Dani and I am 22 years old until recently I never knew what abortion actually did I have had 2 abortions and I also have 2 children and 2 more on the way and I am with the father of my children. After going through your site I and making my self look at the pictures of the abortion’s I am really suffering from horrible guilt and am hating myself. I am not blaming this site at all I just never knew and I am very very sorry for what I have done. Thank You for having a site like this I pray to God that more women and men who pressure us women to have abortions see this site first before having it done I know it will change there minds. I just pray that God can forgive me for what I have done because I really don’t think I will ever forgive myself. please to anyone who reads this, this is a guilt you will live with for the rest of your life and when and if you ever do have children you will look at them and and ask your self what if ?? Trust me there are plenty of women who cant have children who would give there last breath for your unborn child. Thank You for reading this and having a E-mail for me to write it to.

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I recently had an abortion, 12/4/2001 to be exact. At
the time I felt it was the best choice because the man was married and I already had a nine year old. In my heart I can admit to myself that I wanted the baby but because of thinking about everybody else except my innocent baby I had an abortion. I sat in the waiting room , waiting for someone to come and rescue me but they never did. As I lay on the cold table all I could do is pray and ask for God to forgive me. I am still praying for forgivness. This has been traumatic for me but I wear the mask that everything is fine and the minutes, hours, and days have passed and it still hurts like it was today. I can no longer talk about it
I am almost frantic.

GA

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“I know I took things harder than most, but I’ll never forget the sounds, I don’t feel anyone human could…”

I don’t think I’m ready for this, but I need someone to hear me. I’m almost 20, and had an abortion last Friday. I’d read the site, but abortion was never really an issue in my heart, I wanted my baby, my boyfriend however did not. After two years, you don’t think someone could really leave you over a baby, especially their own, but now I know that’s where we get single mom’s. So what were my reasons? I looked at how it would effect everyone except for myself and MY BABY. I never even thought about myself (I didn’t think anyone cared). Most women hear their baby’s heart beat as a first step in pregnancy. I saw my baby on my first visit to the abortion clinic. At 14 weeks, I already wanted to hold it, it was so much bigger than I thought, so defined. I watched my baby’s fast heart beat, it’s little chest rise and fall, and I watched it kick as she moved the ultrasound wand. My baby. I’ll take that image to my grave. The next day I returned for the operation, why? Because two people took time off work to take me, not because I wanted to be there. I know I took things harder than most, but I’ll never forget the sounds , I don’t feel anyone human could. I didn’t judge any of the girls in the recovery room for their decisions, but it hurt me that most of them showed no remorse and instead, relief. I live now in regret. And there’s nothing I can do. I read another letter in your columns, a girl stated that she’d killed someone and it was legal. I too questioned why I wasn’t in jail. It was even worse than killing your neighbor, I killed my baby. I could not wish my experience on my worst enemy. I know I’m not stable right now, but I just want to help ONE person, only one if I could.. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART, you can do it! There are organizations to help you, and most of all support is almost anywhere if you look… I know that now. I am on the road to recovery, coping with my decision, but forever a piece of my heart will of been left at that clinic.

Good luck.
H.L. 11/6/99

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In 1991 I found myself a difficult situation. I was 15 years old and pregnant. I desperately wanted to keep the child but was forced by my mother to have an abortion. I am traumatized by the fact that I felt I had to “get rid of it” or betray my mothers choice. I think about it everyday when the sun is shining on me, how good it feels, how I created this little life and then so horribly deleted it, how this person will never feel the sun, or see a beautiful sunrise. I would not ever suggest having this procedure performed. It’s so disgraceful. My Mom thinks that she did me a favor, when really I feel absolutely terrible. I cry about it all of the time. Don’t do it, it will affect you and your unborn baby forever. No matter how bad you feel or how much you want to change your decision afterwards you can never. Those doctors are murderers.

KL

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I wish I had seen this information two years ago. Every day of my life until the day I die I will live with what I did to my child. The pain never goes away. I would like for anyone who is contemplating an abortion to know that it is not an answer and it is not an easy way out. I have two children,and giving birth and raising babies is much easier than living and dealing with the pain that you will feel when one day you wake up and realize that you murdered your child, and there is nothing that you can do to change that.You can not take abortion back,it will haunt you for the rest of your life.I pray to the lord for forgiveness,and I also pray for another chance to give my baby life. The only thought that enables me to keep a grip on my sanity is knowing that the Lord Jesus Christ is holding and loving my sweet baby in his hands.

JE

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I just celebrated my 21st birthday, and if I hadn’t chosen to have an abortion just over a year ago I would be celebrating my child’s very first birthday. The due date was May 23, 1998. A date that I will never in my life forget. To all the young ladies that are trying to find out as much information as you can on the internet or this web site in fact let me tell you first hand that there are many things you need to consider before making this decision. This decision will be one that you will NEVER forget! Read this web page and then ask yourself the question…..Why are you doing this? If you are having an abortion because anyone but yourself thinks this is the best choice for you, you need to rethink this. The choice I made haunts me everyday of my life. I never go a day without thinking of it and praying to God that he forgives me for what I have done. My heart goes out to any girl that has to make this decision. Your not alone and there are people out there that can help you with this.

Sincerely,

From someone who has been there 4/14/99

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In an article in The British Medical Journal Sept 2, 2000, entitled “Abortion: A Hell of a Decision” a woman writes:

“Slowly I began to notice little babies, and grief started to eat into my calm exterior. Pain such as I had never felt before worked its way into my vulnerable mind, and I realized that I was crumbling. The numb feeling that had protected me for so long was ebbing away, and I didn’t know what to do. The reality of the termination had hit me in the form of grief and despair and above all guilt. I tried to reason with myself that I had no option, but that grief was being translated into anger. …. I couldn’t sleep at night and during the day I alternated between self pity and pain. Worst of all were the frequent moments when tears just poured uncontrollably down my face.”

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