Author: Tech

My name is Candice. I am now 18 and I had an abortion when I was 14. I grew up in a christian home, but in every home, there’s always one who goes bad…and that was me. I began going to parties in grade 7 when I was only 12.

I had sex for the first time at one of these parties, and I didn’t think that there was anything wrong with that, r maybe I just chose to believe that it was okay. Anyways, I fell in love with this guy (I’ll call him Bob, so I won’t reveal his real name) and we started having a sexual relationship. He was 2 years older than me, and he made me feel important, so I gave him everything. Anyways, when we were at a party for New Year’s (I was still 13) we had sex, and this time, I got pregnant. I didn’t even realize that I was pregnant until the middle of February (I had since turned 14, at the end of January). When I told Bob, he asked me what I wanted to do, and being the selfish person that I was, right away, I replied that I wanted to have an abortion. He just went along with it. We didn’t tell our parents, but the people at the clinic didn’t say that I had to. To me this was great. I didn’t have to quit school, or face any sort of ridicule or shame. But, since the abortion, all I feel is guilt. Bob and I are still friends, although, there was a time when he wanted nothing to do with me, but we’ve gotten over that. I am so sorry for killing my own daughter. She would have been 4 this past September, and her name would have been Aspen Jorden Syqouya. I miss her so very much.

Candice

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Hi, my name is Lauren and I live in Missouri. I am 17 years old and had an abortion on the 15th of December, 2004. I found out on the 19th of November that I was pregnant. I told the father, which is my boyfriend, that I was pregnant and he was yes of course very mad at first.

After we got in person and talked it out for many hours we decided that it was our decision to be adult enough to sleep with each other, so we would be adult enough to take care of our biggest responsibility………Our Baby! My mom and dad hated him and hated the fact that I was going to have a baby. I left my house and went and lived with my boyfriend at his dad’s house. It made me feel so much better because they were so excited about the baby and said it would get us away from all the partying and help us grow up to be true adults. I accepted that. We would lay in bed every night and I would fall asleep next to the man I loved so much while he rubbed my tummy and said how excited he was. We were both very happy. About a week later, well I guess went by and all things changed. My boyfriend called my mom to talk to her which I knew wasn’t a good idea because she wanted us to get rid of the baby and well she got what she wanted. He got off the phone and she had put so many things into his head that the first thing he said to me was your getting an abortion. I started to cry, but knew since I didn’t have him I had no one. A couple days later he took me home and told me that he didn’t want anything to do with me. My mom then signed me up and took me in to get the abortion. I followed through with it. Even though it took them under five minutes to complete the procedure, I don’t think that I have ever felt so bad for myself like I am now. I regret every bit of it. Even though I am no one to tell you what to do. I am just saying that it won’t only hurt you, but the one that you don’t have anymore. I could have loved my baby so much and if there was any way that I could go back in time….. I definitely would. I miss my baby and so will you!

Lauren

 

 

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I had an abortion 15 days ago. I was nervous as I could possibly be going in that clinic. I had put the abortion off for a long time. I sat there for a long time waiting. The nurse finally called me back and gave me half a valium and said she needed $425 from me then. I gave her the money and continued to wait.

About an hour later she then gave me a celebrex. About 30 minutes later, the doctor told me to get undressed and he would be in. I looked over the room first. I saw the machine they used to suction the baby out. I could have started crying then. I replayed the whole decision in my head. I just knew I had to go through with it. He examined me and did an ultrasound. He then said “why did you wait so long?” I said what do you mean? He said you are 13 and 1/2 a week pregnant. “For 300 more dollars I can help you with this problem.” He then said are you going to pay the money? I told him I had to call someone to bring me the money and asked him if this increased the risks of something going wrong. He simply said get your clothes on and then we will talk about it. He made me wait about 2 more hours. When I got back there he said I had to just remain calm and not to freak out or he wouldn’t do it. I got undressed and tried to prepare myself. He told me not to cry and not to make a sound. “SILENCE”, he yelled. That had to have been the longest 10 minutes of my life. The pain is indescribable. I was sweating so bad from the pain and pail. When they allowed me to get up and made a make shift diaper from the blanket I laid on I went to the restroom where I sat on the toilet and prayed for the Lord to have mercy on me for at least 30 minutes. I put my clothes on and waited on a couch for him to come back in. He said get up and walk around and eat a good lunch it will help the pain go away.

I really wish I wouldn’t have done it! I regret it everyday. I cant help but think of what my child would have been like. The physical and emotional pain of my abortion will be with me for the rest of my life. I would advise anyone to rethink their decision of an abortion. I cant take my decision back, and it will weigh on my heart for the rest of my days.

Anonymous

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Remember how ms. magazine is having all those ‘pro choice’ people send their proclamation of how happy they were when they aborted to get support for not stopping abortion? Well I went there and declared to them. I had an abortion in 1976, and I am NOT proud of it at all. I miss my son Brandon everyday.

I was 16 weeks pregnant with his dear self. it was done by the prostaglandin method which slowly chokes that child to death.

I did not know everything I know now about abortion at all, in those days there were no crisis pregnancy centers, nor was the information out there at all. it was not my choice at all. my father, the father of the baby and my mom all conspired on this cuz they didn’t want me to have him. however the cancer of abortion wills top with me, my mom did it 2 times and my sister at least once. they feel no regrets and cant figure out still why I cant forget, its past. when I got married and had our 2 daughters in 1983 and 1989 I had so much cervical damage I had to have 2 csections. deprived of even breast feeding. I was robbed. of my son and the gift of breast feeding. I did not abort out of selfishness , I was carrying out others choices not mine,

I was out on the maternity ward in queens hospital in Hawaii for that. The whole thing was so evil and the pain was indescribable. and not fair I wanted him. however I took responsibility for it and confessed it to JESUS the only one who can heal you and now I do all I cant stop it. I learned the hard way that you cannot just do whatever you want in life, the minute you have sex you are immediately responsible for if you have a child or not. And you will never get that one back, there’s only one of all of us. he is safe with JESUS now but I miss him so. please stop the killing, pretty soon it will be on the other end they will kill us when we get too old to support. STOP ABORTION NOW. Bless you.

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From a collection of first-hand testimonies from women. These were gathered from a survey done by Priests for Life. They can be found on the Priests for Life website.

I was 19, my boyfriend 21, we loved each other, and we were too ashamed and scared . His Mom always told him she would throw him out of the house, whether she would have, we never told them. I was too ashamed to put my family through it! It was a joint decision and we went together.

(It was) the most horrible experience ever. My whole body felt like it was being ripped apart. Imagine what the baby felt. A nightmare.

It has left a scar on us, which we think will never go away. I still cry everyday and wonder what it was, who it looked like. I keep thinking one day when I die, I’m going to hear this voice saying how could you do that to me. It’s hard to make love sometimes.

I pray and probably should seek counseling but can’t afford it. By writing this, I hope this helps somebody who is thinking about having one — but don’t.

It’s changed my life greatly. I want my baby back. Me and my boyfriend married a year and half later. Weve been married for 5 years have two children and love them dearly, wouldn’t give them up for the world.

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I am 27 years old and I have had 3 abortions. That is the first time I have ever admitted that to anyone. The first abortion was at age 20. My boyfriend didn’t want the baby, we already had a 6 month old son. He gave me every reason under the sun why I should not have it

After dealing with the stress of already having an infant, I killed my second child. I will never forget the sterile white room, the masked doctors, pointless forms to fill out, and the empty look of 20+ girls whose babies were going to die the same day as mine. That day was June 5, 2001. The next abortion was July 22, 2002… I was 21 years old, my son was a year and a half, and I had the same boyfriend with the same excuses. He discussed the abortion on July 4th over dinner at Red Lobster. When the 22nd came, he dropped me off and came back several hours later. His car wouldn’t start upon us leaving the clinic… I was mortified…crying for my third baby as I had done for my second… I kept begging for forgiveness. The feeling of going into the clinic and leaving empty….almost souless…still haunts me everyday. The guilt and resentment, towards my then boyfrjend played a major role in us breaking up. Just think…the very person I was afraid of losing, the one I allowed to talk me into killing my children , is the very one who wound up being part of my past anyway.

Fast forward some years to age 26. I now had a year old daughter and the man of my dreams. One who treated my son as his own and cared for our daughter like every father should. Ironically, he too tried to convince me of aborting her. Being a man with a very strong relationship with God, he threw phrases like ” The Lord’ll forgive you baby…let’s just pray about it….think about your children., do you want them to struggle?” But I fought and fought for our daughters life …and won. Now you would think with a beautiful 6 year old son and baby girl and two deeply regretted abortions I would have learned. But, I didn’t. On November 2, 2007, I had my 3rd abortion. This one the hardest. Why? Because not even a week before, I went to a regular OB/GYN appt and listened to my babies heart beat for the first and last time. I can still remember the doctor saying “Well, here’s your little peanut!” …and I still went through with it. I allowed my daughter’s father to fill my head with bogus religious reasons as to why this was the best for us. The best for US! But what about our baby…why doesn’t my baby deserve a chance? But he pointed out our struggles raising the two we had, our middle wage jobs, our high bills. That, coupled with my selfishness and insecurity allowed me to really believe I was doing this for the betterment of me and my childrens’ lives. Except the life of 5th child is the one I didn’t think about.

As I sit here on this couch, I find it a blessing that I came to this site. I just found out I was pregnant yesterday and once again have my boyfriend, my daughters father, telling me how abortion is “best for us.” This time though, I am strong enough to leave him…my other half….for the life of my unborn child.

Here I am –27 years old and still live with the pain of lives I chose to lose. I think of my angels everyday and torture myself with the sound of my unborn babies heartbeat. Torture myself by looking at pictures like the one on this website. I do it because the reality is…though the Lord has forgiven me, I can not forgive myself. I have nightmares that when I die, those 3 angels will be at the gates waiting for me asking me one question… “Mommy, why me ?” . I can not tell you what to do. This decision is no easier for a 27 year old than it is a 17 year old. Just take a second and think about this. If you can live with the consequences of lifelong regret and “what-if’s”…. if you can live with nightmares…if you can live with tears and resentment… as a matter of fact…if YOU CAN LIVE……..

Why can’t your baby?

 

 

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Today I am 50 years old. When I was 16 I got pregnant and initially planned on having my baby…but my mother pressured me into having this “operation” and to forget about it. My boyfriend went into denial, and so I thought that if the doctors, government and my Mom thought it was okay, that it must be.

In my twenties I was again single and pregnant, my boyfriend pressured me to abort, sadly I did. This time I went to an abortion clinic, it was horrific, I was wide awake, it was VERY painful, I went into shock and felt like I had been raped again.

I got an infection, damaged cervix, badly scarred uterus, and was only able to have one child, a beautiful son, he is 15 years old and I love being a Mom. Doctors said that due to the damage done as a result of those abortions, they couldn’t believe I had him! Children are a blessing, they will never hurt you. Don’t believe the lies. God will help you, there is help. It’s a baby. Abortion deeply hurt me, and killed my children, it is a wrong, and not a right! Rev. 12:11

 

 

 

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Unfortunately, I chose to have an abortion last November. It was the worst mistake of my life. I knew it was wrong, but I tried to cling to the pro-choice rhetoric and believe it would be all over in an hour. To think I could do something so horrific and believe I could just sweep it under the rug emotionally.

To any other women out there who are facing a crisis pregnancy and are on the fence about what to do, please do not make the horrible mistake I did. The grief and remorse are unbearable. I feel far more sorrow over losing this unborn baby than losing any person who was born, and I have lost a lot of relatives. At least those people got to live their lives, and I got to know them–unlike my unborn baby whom I killed.

You might think abortion is a quick fix, but it’s not at all. Far from it! I felt a whopping 2 hours of relief after the abortion–and several months of ongoing severe depression.

No matter what your reasons for having the abortion, nothing is worth it. Anything you choose over your baby will have blood on it. For instance, one reason I had the abortion was to pursue graduate school. But now, my degree and new career will be tainted by my baby’s blood. I would trade anything to have my baby back now.

A driving factor in making the decision to abort was that I was under extreme anxiety during the pregnancy. Anxiety will cause you to think very pessimistically and irrationally, making you more prone to abort. It is your mind playing tricks on you. After I had the abortion and the anxiety came down, I realized how completely senseless my abortion was, and I could think of a million solutions of how to have the baby and pursue the other things in life I wanted to pursue.

If you are experiencing extreme anxiety, there is an antianxiety drug called buspirone (Buspar) which is safe to take during pregnancy. Ask your doctor about taking it. I had assumed no drug would be safe to take; I only found out I could have taken buspirone after the pregnancy. If I had known that before, I might have been able to bring down my anxiety, and my baby might have been saved. If you do not want to take drugs, other methods to bring down anxiety include hypnosis and acupuncture. Give them a try. You cannot make a sound decision if you are under severe anxiety.

Please don’t put yourself through the hell I’m going through now. If I can save one baby’s life and one woman from going through the emotional agony I am now going through, my precious baby’s death will not have been in vain.

Anne M.

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I am 44 years old. I have had three abortions. Two at age 16 and one at age 22. I thought I only regretted and grieved the third one. I was so wrong! You never forget and you always regret.

Regret shows itself in many ways.I have recently been through a 10 week long Forgiveness bible study where, for the first time, I told the story of my abortions. It was so healing to be able to talk about it, to grieve these children and to talk with other women who’ve been through it. Society implies that if you made this “choice”, you have no regrets and no right to grieve if you do have regrets. I’ll spare many of the details but at age 16, I became pregnant and my first thought was “abortion!”. I had always mouthed off that it was murder…until an unplanned pregnancy was my situation. My mother fully supported and encouraged and abortion. I was supposed to go back to the clinic for a follow-up appointment and birth control. It was snowing that night and we never made it. (Nobody ever suggested that perhaps I should keep my pants on until I was married). So, new boyfriend, not long after and we began to have sex. I really wanted to keep this baby but he said “No, we’ll get married after we graduate and we’ll have another baby.” I didn’t realize I could have gone against his wishes. I really wanted to keep that baby.

Third time, age 22, old enough to get married, baby’s father didn’t offer. Knee jerk reaction-abortion. Same clinic as before, rude and nasty doctors and nurses. I’m sure they get hard-serial murderers aren’t warm and fuzzy people. An ultrasound most likely would have changed my mind. A loving word from the boyfriend would have helped, too. I grieved this child for a long time. Until I went through the bible study, I used to fantasize about what I would do if I found a baby “thrown away”. I now recognize that as a reaction to my abortions.

I know my Lord forgives me, I will see my children in heaven. I have named them and had a memorial service for them. I am finally at peace but still regret my decisions.

It is a real baby, it is a gift from God, it is painful in many ways, and it is wrong. If you find yourself with an unwanted pregnancy-WAIT. Take time to become informed about your child’s options. You can give birth. You can keep or adopt the child. You can get help caring for your child. YOu can You can You can… do so many things to save your child’s life. God loves you and your child.

Sharon

 

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