A woman who had an abortion told her story to a pro-choice author. She says:
“I remember the night, that night after. I don’t know where my boyfriend was. I don’t remember him being in the apartment, but I remember just breaking down and sobbing and sobbing, and that’s when I prayed and was very remorseful. I had that flow of emotions at that time, just that first night, and I was up for half the night. It wasn’t until I met my husband, which was in 1995, that that all came out again, because I told him when we started dating. I guess I kind of just buried it.”
Cara J. Marianna Abortion: A Collective Story (Westport, CT: Praeger, 2002) 78
From a teenager who became pregnant unexpectedly and went to a crisis pregnancy center:
Preborn baby at three months
“The first time I stepped through the doors of the pregnancy center, I was 15 years old… And I was pregnant. I denied it until I couldn’t deny it any longer and I was already three months along when I finally told my parents.
“We’re going to go away for the weekend. Get it taken care of and no one will ever know,” they said.
Baby at three months, sonogram
By God’s grace, we were somehow sitting in a counselor’s office the next morning. She took time to speak with me alone – without the pressure of my parents. “I know that abortion isn’t the right choice for me.… Life is life no matter how it came about,” I told her…
During my pregnancy, I felt shunned. My classmates didn’t understand and friends didn’t know how to support me. I lost friends because of my choice to carry my child to term… I wasn’t allowed to visit my parents’ public workplaces. They were too embarrassed… We also stopped attending church, as my parents were afraid of feeling shame and being looked down upon…
The pregnancy center staff gave me the emotional support I wasn’t getting anywhere else. For me, the pregnancy center was a safe place. They gave me the power to voice my concerns, questions, and emotions. They treated me with respect and gave me open and honest feedback. At the pregnancy center, I shed tears of sorrow and then tears of joy as I proudly showed off the pictures of my son.…
My heart broke on the day my son left the hospital in someone else’s arms. But while there was pain and sadness, there was never regret. I never regretted that I gave my son life – a better life, the best life I could.”
Mike G Williams “Thank You for Saving My Life” (2016) 32 – 35
A woman who had an abortion and wished that she had been warned about its aftereffects said:
“I think there’s a little anger there, too, at the doctors that didn’t counsel, or that did it so off-handedly, and said, ‘No, this won’t bother you; it’s no big deal. This is what you want to do; it’s okay.’ You know, not having a concern for anything more than the physical body. Because that, I think, is what still makes me angry.”
Cara J. Marianna Abortion: A Collective Story (Westport, CT: Praeger, 2002) 65
From a therapist who works with postabortion women:
“I have encountered young women (as young as 14 and 16 years of age) who are drinking and drug taking in order to sleep without nightmares, and without hearing the baby’s voice crying out, or because “I keep dreaming about dead babies” (Melissa). Alcohol and substance abuse are used as anesthesia to block out the memory.”
Anne R Lastman Redeeming Grief: Abortion and Its Pain (Balwyn, Vic: Australia: Gracewing, 2013) 116
An article in The Independent describes how abortionists are not respected as much as other doctors:
Distaste at performing terminations combined with ethical and religious convictions has led to a big increase in “conscientious objectors” who request exemption from the task, the RCOG says. A key factor is what specialists call “the dinner party test”. Gynaecologists who specialise in fertility treatment creating babies for childless couples are almost universally revered – but no one boasts of being an abortionist.
Jeremy Lauranc “ABORTION CRISIS AS DOCTORS REFUSE TO PERFORM SURGERY” The Independent, 16 April 2007
RCOG is the Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynecology
An article explains that few teens choose adoption because they are pressured not to. There is “disapproval” of the adoption choice.
“Despite almost universal verbal disapproval, some girls had in fact considered adoption, but the resultant community and familial pressures against it were so pervasive that they were unable to carry through with their plans.”
Maris Vinovskis “An “Epidemic” of Adolescent Pregnancy? (New York: Oxford University Press, 1988) 221
A woman who had an abortion said the clinic was like a grief warehouse:
“I remember the experience. I remember a little pain associated with it. I remember the rooms being very dark. I remember that there were many of us there, many other women there. And I remember just getting on the table, it was almost a slab, and having it done, and the doctor being pretty curt.
I mean they were, you know, polite, I’m sure. But it was definitely a very cold experience because a lot of other people were there. I don’t fault them for it, but it seemed kind of awful in some ways. And then I remember being put in a room with several other women afterwards. And at least one woman was just moaning. And it felt pretty horrible. I didn’t feel spiritually guilty. It just felt like we were these women who were trapped in this situation, left to grieve in this weird way, just sort of in this grief warehouse.”
Cara J. Marianna Abortion: A Collective Story (Westport, CT: Praeger, 2002) 83
Exhale is a pro-choice group that helps women who suffer from post-abortion trauma. Unlike pro-life organizations, Exhale validates women’s choices to have abortions and takes the view that abortion is moral. Exhale was founded because pro-choice people could no longer ignore the fact that women were emotionally struggling after their abortions. Before Exhale, there was no real pro-choice support for post-abortion women: The founder of Exhale, Aspen Baker, says:
“Before Exhale started, the most prominent people who were talking about post-abortion feelings were pro-life.” There has been a few pro-choice projects here and there that considered this perspective…but these were “few and far between and did not have wide pro-choice support.”
The authors of the book The Doulas: Radical Care for Pregnant People, in which this quote appears, commented:
“The common pro-choice refrain was “most women feel relief” – and nothing else – and pro-choice advocates rejected the idea of a “post-abortion syndrome.”…
It was assumed that anyone who talked about abortion feelings, especially difficult ones like sadness or grief, had been bamboozled by pro-life extremists…
When someone truly cares about women they are open to hearing what women want to say (whether they are pro-choice or pro-life or neither), but when the care is primarily about securing or ending the legal right to abortion then there is great concern about what women say about their own abortions.”
Mary Mahoney and Lauren Mitchell The Doulas: Radical Care for Pregnant People (New York: Feminist Press, 2016) 21-22
The teenage daughter of a pastor found out that she was pregnant. She was afraid that if others discovered her pregnancy it would reflect badly on her parents. Therefore, she considered abortion. When she became pregnant she wondered:
“What are my parents going to do? My father might lose his job. Maybe we’ll have to move. Maybe I will have to graduate at another high school…
All these emotions ran through my head. I didn’t dare talk with anyone about it… So I did what anyone in my shoes would do. I went online.
You can find anything online… I searched “abortions” and found a website that looked like an abortion provider… offering preabortion counseling and free ultrasound testing…
Before I knew it, I was on a table and looking at an ultrasound. And it was a baby. There was no doubt. There were tiny hands and feet… And a beating heart.
12 week 3-D sonogram
“I don’t really want an abortion. I just can’t end my parents’ lives and careers because of my mistake,” I sobbed to the lady in the seafoam green scrubs.
She took me by the hand and said, “You have a dilemma. Because now you have to decide why you can choose to end the life of this innocent child because of one mistake.”
I never saw that coming. I thought they were an abortion provider. I was wrong. They were not. Through some really creative advertising, they were able to draw me in without ever saying that they did or didn’t do abortions.
The ultrasound technician was a lifesaver. My tears were quickly displaced by loving women who gathered around me to pray for me and pray with me. The nurse was right, I could not choose to end the life of an innocent child…
It wasn’t easy. There were many tears. My mother and father suffered great turmoil… Life, however, has returned to normal with the exception that there is a baby back in the household. Justin and I are still in a relationship… And we plan to get married…
I want to say thank you. It was your center that had that crazy website that brought me in, that rescued me, and that saved me from my own fears. Most of all, you helped save little Emily Joy. You are my heroes. You stood up and helped me make the right choice… thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Mike G Williams “Thank You for Saving My Life” (2016) 20 – 24
