Category: Women’s Stories

A woman who had an abortion wrote:

“Abortion was the obvious solution. It would get me back to normal, keep me in control, spare me unnecessary pain. But after my abortion, reality parted company with rhetoric. The choice that was supposed to spare me the heartache of parting with my own flesh and blood, tormented me with an overwhelming sense of loss from which there was no escape.

I was haunted by nightmares and flashbacks that were so vivid, so distressing, so out of control that I felt like I was falling apart. At times, I thought suicide might bring welcome relief.

I sought help from counselors and psychologists who denied that my abortion could bring me grief. Now, what about my relationship with my father? My mother? No, I must have got it wrong. Abortion was a solution, not a problem…. My life continued to unravel. I was referred to a psychiatrist, who gave me pills but no answers.

Life went on. I established a career in scientific/medical research (recombinant DNA technology), but I was never the same again. What I gained as a consequence was always tarnished by the cost….

When I realized that other women experienced grief after abortion, I was outraged. Why were women allowed – often encouraged – to proceed without regard for alternatives, or consequences? Why were they uninformed, sometimes lied to, when they were supposed to be making their own choices?….

In the eight years since then, I have learned about and corresponded with grieving post-abortive women from throughout the country. None were prepared for the aftermath.”

PHILIPPA PECK “The grief of abortion” The Press (Christchurch, NZ), June 13, 2000

One woman told her post-abortion story:

“I expected to feel relieved when the abortion was over. I thought it would erase the pregnancy. I thought I could move on with my life.  I was wrong.

Although I didn’t feel this way before the procedure, it was now clear to me that the abortion ended the life of my child. I felt guilty and desired punishment. I deserved to suffer.

Afterword, the mere presence of my boyfriend caused deep hurt and pain.

I found it difficult to work. In between student lessons, I’d retreat to the staff room and cry.

I soon found myself in a cycle of self-destructive behavior that included an eating disorder…

About two years after the abortion, I was living in Southern California when I began experiencing periods of intense anger followed by periods of profound sadness.

For weeks and sometimes months at a time, I was too fatigued to do more than eat a meal and shower during the day… This downward spiral continued until suicidal thoughts began to scare me.”

“A Mother Regrets Her Abortion” She’s a Child, Not a “Choice” 30th anniversary ed., Human Life Alliance (Minneapolis, Minnesota, 2019) p. 3

In a pro-choice book, a woman who traveled from Ireland to England to have an abortion says:

“I spent that night in the clinic being checked on by nurses and crying a lot. I no longer had to hold it together. I had got to the UK… The third night was spent in the B&B and I knew I had to get all of my crying over and done with before I got home. As I shared my bedroom with my three younger sisters.”

Janet Ni Shuilleabhain “My Story” Aideena Quilty, Sinead Kennedy and Catherine Conlon The Abortion Papers Ireland: Volume 2 (Togher, Cork: Attic Press, 2015) 28

Despite appearing in a pro-choice book, this woman’s abortion doesn’t sound very empowering.

Emily Turner wrote a book about her life, her abortion, and its aftermath. She wrote:

“After the abortion, I sank to the lowest of lows. The greatest depth and darkness that covers the bottom of sea. There I laid. I stopped responding to messages and phone calls. No motivation to continue on for a Masters degree. My stomach was empty without the ache for food. Nothing could fill it. The grief and ache were unbearable.… Abortion is so incredibly isolating…

I feared what others would think of me. I feared their words, their judgments and their stares. I feared my reputation and my future. I feared being the outcast. Then I grieved a life. And I grieved a death. I grieved until my soul could take no more.”

Emily Turner The “A” Words: My Gut Wrenching and Mildly Hilarious Story from Abuse and Abortion Into Understanding Freedom (undated) 117, 121, 123

Vivian James told her story:

“Nineteen years ago I walked into an abortion clinic, as I was about to go in for the procedure I started crying, the doctor said to me he’s not doing it. I should go home and think about it because I was crying too much. I remember him saying “I have a conscience and if I do this based on the state you’re in, I’ll never sleep again.” Eight months pregnant, I experienced one of the worst cases of domestic violence. I suffered a fractured rib, severe trauma to the head and eyes, and had blood clots in my head. She was born okay. … I’m so grateful that God saw it fit to save her life when her mom didn’t know better! This gem is so RARE. I couldn’t imagine life without her and I know her siblings and grandmother feel the same. This child is light in a pitch black room. Happy birthday Chanel. … Kid your mom loves you with EVERY fiber of her being…”

Taira Afaha-Akpan Destined to Live: A true life story (2017)

A woman, a high school teacher, who identified herself only as “M” was interviewed in an abortion facility, where she said:

“You don’t want to know who’s here, you don’t want to be recognized, and you don’t want to see them ever again. Because in society’s eyes, you share the same dirty secret.”

JOHN LELAND” Under Din of Abortion Debate, an Experience Shared Quietly” New York Times SEPT. 18, 2005

Easlyn writes:

“I had an abortion at 21 years old, at 10 weeks, and I have regretted it ever since. I was upset before I went through with it, and I came away from the hospital safe but feeling upset and empty. I have experienced depression for years, in part because of this.”

“Endangered, a World in Peril” Human Life Alliance, 1614 93rd Ln. NE., Minneapolis, MN, 55449, p 3