Woman says she was “never the same again” after her abortion

On the website AbortionChangesYou.com, a woman tells her story. She got pregnant from a man who was living with another woman. He claimed his relationship with the woman was over, but when she got pregnant, he refused to move out or to support her:

She writes:

“I remember being genuinely happy. I was the outgoing, silly girl who was always laughing. I remember smiling from the soul. I had no true sadness in my heart….

I also become extremely ill when I am pregnant with a rare condition called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. This basically means that I am throwing up and nauseous literally 24/7 during the entire nine months of pregnancy  … When I started feeling ill I became very scared. I felt my back up against the wall. I was responsible for all of my bills, a 2 year old active toddler and for the maintaining my apartment with zero help.  …

I would have panic attacks because I couldn’t stop throwing up but had no choice but to go work 12-14 hour shifts. … I had been throwing up for weeks. My throat was raw. My eyes were swollen from crying. I was extremely dehydrated. My feet hurt from working. My heart broken from not being the mother I knew I was capable of being. My spirit was weak…

I called my mom and cried my heart out. She told me that I need to have an abortion that it was the only way to give myself and my current child a chance. I told her I couldn’t possibly go through with that but she insisted that it was the only way that it was just a clump of cells and not even a formed baby yet. With no fight left in my tired soul, I conceded…

After, the procedure I was never the same again. I was put on the Nuva Ring and must have not been using it properly because a month later I was pregnant again. I felt as if I went through all of that emotional turmoil just to get pregnant again… I felt stupid and like it was for nothing. I didn’t even tell my mom this time. I just went in all alone and had an abortion all by myself…

I felt numb. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I was lost. I spiraled out of control. What followed was the characteristics of a person I didn’t knew existed within myself. When I smiled, it felt forced. When I laughed it was insincere. I had multiple angry, violent outbursts where I would destroy things in my apartment just because I couldn’t bear consequences of my actions. I couldn’t remember how to be that happy go lucky and free young woman I used to pride myself on being. I cried constantly. All I could think about was how I caused harm and death upon my children. MY children. Those I should have gladly given my life to protect. It went against nature itself. I had suicidal thoughts and couldn’t bear the weight of the pain. …I pray to the heavens and to my two babies for forgiveness on a regular basis… Not a minute goes by where they are not in my heart and on my mind. … the pain still hasn’t subsided. I have a multitude of mental issues like crippling anxiety and depression. I feel a heaviness in my heart that won’t go away.”

 

 

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Author: Sarah

Sarah Terzo is a writer for Live Action and a member of the board of The Pro-life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians and Consistent Life. She lives in NJ.

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