Category: Women’s Stories

Cynthia Hardeman wrote about her abortion and its aftermath:

“My ex-husband and I decided to abort our third child because of the instability of our marriage, our finances, and our desires… Instead of seeking counsel, we chose to abort and give up. Little did we know what we would deal with the rest of our lives.

During my abortion I actually saw an innocent life ripped apart and trashed like garbage. The ordeal was enough to put me in bed weeping for days. To deal with the pain, I turned to drugs and alcohol. My first marriage disintegrated quickly, and I married 2 more times. I tried everything to ease the pain of what I thought was insanity.…

I was literally on the edge and suicide seemed the only way out. Being a Christian, I knew I needed help. That is when I began to deal with the tragedy that haunted the inner depths of my very soul. Healing has not been an easy process.”

Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 35

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A nurse who worked with women who had abortions had an abortion herself. She describes the bewilderment and fear she felt. The nurse sent a letter to the makers of the program “Mixed Feelings”:

“I write anonymously as a nurse who has cared for women having abortions. Although I am familiar with hospital routine, it was quite different experiencing it from the other side. I find it frightening and bewildering, because no one bothered to explain any of what was going on. Nobody ever stopped to ask how I was feeling. In the hospital, everything was unreal and frighteningly out of my control. At one point, a nurse came in after several hours spent on my own to find me crying. She asked if I was in pain. I said no, and she walked out without a word. I think that I have learned that good nursing care means more than efficiently performing tasks. I certainly have never felt more alone and scared.”

Mary Kenny Abortion: The Whole Story (London: Quartet Books, 1986) 273

This nurse found out firsthand that having an abortion is not an easy experience for a woman.

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When Cindy Hendrickson was a teenager, she had a saline abortion. Saline abortions are seldom performed today. They were done by injecting a caustic saline solution into the uterus to kill the baby and then inducing labor.

Hendrickson says:

“When I told my parents about the pregnancy, dad decided I would have an abortion, even though I wanted to give my baby up for adoption. We told no one about the baby. My mother always obeyed my father, and I was afraid to disobey him, so I agreed to the abortion.

Mother and I went to a Houston clinic where dad said they had counselors to help me. Mother paid them $500 in cash and was told to leave me there. The counselor took all the girls (about 25) and taught us about birth control.

That was the last I saw of her. I was given a shot of Demerol, and around midnight the doctor came to my room and injected saline my uterus. The nurse never told me what would happen.

Later, I went to the bathroom and saw my baby hanging from the umbilical cord. As I screamed hysterically for help, I heard the nurses out in the hall talking and laughing.

After 15 minutes, my roommate went to get a nurse. She made me get back in bed with the baby hanging between my legs and said they had to wait until I passed the placenta. I lay in bed crying, trying not to touch the baby with my legs. Finally, they removed it. We went home…”

She writes about the emotional aftermath of her abortion:

“During college I started taking speed, stopped eating, and was anorexic (90 pounds.) I was on antidepressants for 20 years until recently… I spent 8 years after the abortion in destructive behaviors, going to three different secular counselors and never talking about the abortion.

A Christian counselor at Birth Choice helped me examine how I felt about my child, and I grieved for three days and nights. She suggested The Memorial as a place to honor my child, and that has given me peace.”

Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 112 – 113

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Postabortion woman Marlena Moore wrote the following tragic letter to her aborted baby, who she named Joshua:

“No one talked with me about you. I remember you in the silence of my heart. There, in my heart, was your funeral and grave, the only place I could find to remember you until now. Yes, I wanted you, son, but your grandmother convinced me not to have you.”

Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 66

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Post-Abortion woman Debbie Niehaus had no bad feelings about her abortion when it first happened. But years later, she regretted it.

 “Believe it or not, I was cheerful before, during, and after the abortion and was naïve enough to tell several people about it. I considered children a nuisance and wondered why everyone didn’t have abortions to get rid of the noisy things. I was very pro-choice…

But about 8 years later, I watched a massive pro-life demonstration in Wichita, Kansas, on TV when I suddenly realized I agreed with what they said. My heart broke when I realized what I had done… I killed my baby out of ignorance, and I will not live a lie any longer.”

Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 33 – 34

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A woman whose doctor urged her to have an abortion refused and now has a grown son and two grandchildren:

“Just before my marriage in 1936, I discovered that I had become pregnant and it was an awful shock as my future husband’s family were very strict and uncompromising people. However, I bluffed the whole thing through and got married, but eventually when four months pregnant, I had to go to the doctor. He was very worried that I had left the visit so long owing to trouble in my heart he was sure I could not have the baby. Eventually my mother took me to a Harley Street specialist and after examination he advised a medical abortion as soon as possible. Somehow although only 22 years of age, the mere idea of abortion seemed like murder and I absolutely refused to have it done. My mother begged me and so did the specialist, but somehow I just couldn’t. At the birth things were very difficult and only expertise on the part of the doctors saved us both and I had to stay in bed for months. Eventually the baby – a son – great up [sic] a fine, healthy man, and had two sons of his own. When I see my healthy son and his almost grown-up sons I am so thankful that somebody put so strongly the idea into my mind that abortion was wrong.”

Mary Kenny Abortion: The Whole Story (London: Quartet Books, 1986) 206

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Dawn, 17, who regrets her abortion:

“I’ve even cried some nights, because I really feel bad about killing it. Just killing something like a baby, that really bothers me, but I try not to let it…It’ll never be alright to me. I don’t care if it was just a week [along in the pregnancy]. It’s both our faults. We didn’t want to have a child.”

Judith G. Smetana Concepts of Self and Morality: Women’s Reasoning about Abortion (New York: Praeger Special Studies, 1982) 76

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Postabortion woman  Holly Lewis talked about her abortion:

“Planned Parenthood thought it was best for me to have an abortion so I could go on with my life and not embarrass my family.

I scheduled the abortion, and I remember how cold everyone was.

“Just bring $300 in cash or cashier’s check.”

The day I walked into the clinic, a pro-life group was picketing outside. I prayed one of them would stop me and say everything would be okay, and that they would help me with the baby. Instead they called me a murderer….And afterwards when I came out they were still yelling at me. No one asked, “Can I help you?”

After that my whole life went downhill.… I cut myself off from all my friends and turned away from God. I started to have sexual relationships with every man I met. Then I moved on to married men. I didn’t think they or anyone had the right to have a happy, respectful relationship. I was caught for shoplifting and spent the night in jail. I used drugs and alcohol.”

Eventually, she found healing from her abortion.

Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 162-163

The saddest aspect of this story is that abortion protestors/sidewalk counselors could have reached her and helped her choose life, but they called her a murderer instead.

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