Category: Women’s Stories

A teen cried while she was having an abortion:

I’m sixteen and I recently had an abortion. I automatically fell in love with my baby – but when we told our parents our happiness soon faded. When I found out that I actually had an appointment to let someone kill my child I couldn’t believe my mom couldn’t understand what I was going through. The whole time the doctor did the abortion I was crying. I couldn’t believe my baby was dying. I don’t even want to sleep at night because I have nightmares and replay the whole thing over and over in my head.

“Why Women Have Abortions” Wisconsin Right to Life, visited 5/26/2016

Stacy B describes her abortion experience:

“When I called the local abortion clinic, the man on the phone told me it was urgent that I make reservations right away because the appointments always filled up quickly. He offered no counseling, no alternatives, and no mention of risks. Just urgency!…

I was awake for the whole thing. I remember asking the doctor if it was a boy or a girl, and he said it was too soon to tell. He acted as if this was no big deal. In the recovery room, a girl who had been in a couple of months before commented that they had new snacks this time. I felt as if I was in the middle of a nightmare.”

Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 119

Author Mary Kenny tells the following story:

“I have a friend who is extraordinarily tough… doesn’t give a damn, you know. She became pregnant – she is also very ambitious and has a very good job. There was no question whatsoever of continuing the pregnancy. It was an immediate abortion. And she went to this abortion clinic in Brighton.

She told me she took the train to Brighton, thinking, “Oh, jolly day down at Brighton, go to the beach, get a silly hat and a stick of rock, have an abortion”… she got down there and she went, and suddenly, it started to dawn on her that it wasn’t really very funny. Ridiculous, she thought, babies, who wants them? That’s for other silly women – not for me. And afterwards, she was completely shattered. Walk on the pier? – No. She took a taxi to the station, cried all the way back to London. It just tapped something inside her she hardly knew was there. Actually, it broke her heart. She never suspected she would take it that way. She only told me about it recently. Otherwise, nobody would ever know.”

Mary Kenny Abortion: The Whole Story (London: Quartet Books, 1986) 287 – 288

Postabortion woman Athlynn Reeves shares her story. She got pregnant when she was in college.

“The month between pregnancy and abortion was a time of extreme crisis. My goals! My dreams! No money! I sought counsel from a nursing student, who said, “It’s just a blob of tissue.” I sought counsel from clergy at my church, and she said, “Whatever you decide, God will understand.” Society, a family member, and all but one friend said abortion was the way. One friend said, “If you choose abortion, God won’t like it.” I hung up on her. My heart was like stone…

That day in January turned my life to death. The day I killed my child, I died, too… A black cloud hung over me. I never knew abortion would do that.”

Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 166

From one postabortion woman:

“I cried during the abortion. The nurse thought I was in pain, but it wasn’t physical pain. That night when the sedative wore off, I wanted to die. After that, at parks or children’s events I mourned the baby I had aborted and couldn’t fully appreciate the children I had. Not a day goes by that I do not wish I had my baby.”

Her doctor had told her it was too risky to have another child.

Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 160

A teenager who became pregnant got no support from her mother, who threatened her with homelessness. She ended up having an abortion:

“I was in love with a man who abused me emotionally. I didn’t recognize the relationship as abusive because of my own insecurities and need for attention.

When I became pregnant, the relationship ended. I pleaded with my boyfriend to stand by me through the pregnancy because I did not believe in abortion. He told me to have an abortion because no one would marry me with someone else’s child. I was devastated, desperate, and alone…

I turned to my close friends, and they only had mixed answers. I knew I would have to tell my parents eventually because I lived under their roof. I could not make it alone in Hawaii, considering the high cost of living….

The response I got was devastating, especially from a Christian. My mother told me I would be homeless, and they would not help me through this terrible sin I committed. I said, “Then I’ll have an abortion…” She didn’t respond or try to stop me. I felt that this was the last straw, and I would have to go through with it. I wished she had encouraged me to keep the child and assured me that I would not be alone…

During the whole procedure, I wailed in agony and despair.”

Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005)  28 – 29

One woman told her story. She had an unplanned pregnancy, and the doctor was pressuring her to have an abortion:

“I was single and hadn’t planned to get pregnant – but I wasn’t showing any signs of distress. On subsequent visits to the hospital, the same doctor ridiculed me for not having an abortion. I think the idea that anybody could actually have an unwanted child, and go ahead and put it up for adoption is by some people considered inhuman – whereas abortion would have been acceptable. But abortion didn’t enter my head; whatever my predicament, the baby has rights too…

I imagined that because I really disliked the father that the baby would be really ugly and repellent to me. But he wasn’t. He was absolutely beautiful. I was surprised that he was lovely, and he looked so like the other boys [her other children]. I never had the slightest change of mind about the adoption, but still, he was lovely…..

I do wish people would stop thinking about adoption as something inhuman. A few of the mothers in the hospital said, “How on earth could you do that? Why didn’t you have an abortion?” They were very judgmental. And I was very upset at the time, but I realize why now. I think they obviously loved their own children and identified with them, but it would be acceptable if I had had a termination because then nothing would be seen. I think they could kid themselves that there was nothing there, but if it’s a real baby you’re dealing with something different. The unborn baby is seen as inhuman; the born baby is seen as a full human being. It is a form of discrimination against human life just because it is not seen… I think people should be helped to go through the pregnancy, and they must reach their own decision. Not alone- they need help.”

Debby Sanders, founder of pro-life group Women for Life, which supports women with unplanned pregnancies.

Mary Kenny Abortion: The Whole Story (London: Quartet Books, 1986) 104-105

A woman who had an abortion told a pro-choice writer:

“There was no doubt, when I became pregnant, that life was right there, in my womb. Left undisturbed, that blob of cells and tissue would have grown into a baby. The process was beginning, and I chose to end it……I was totally unprepared for my mounting ambivalence as the time for the abortion came closer, an ambivalence that turned into grief and guilt for a period after the abortion was over. The little ghost haunted me for about six months before it disappeared, and after it was gone, I even missed it a bit. But as my children grow and take up more and more of my time and energy, I realize emphatically that the addition of another child for me would have been negative rather than positive.”

Linda Bird Francke, The Ambivalence of Abortion (New York: Random House, 1978), quoted in Family Circle, January 27, 1978, p.57.

At the end of the quote, she rationalizes her abortion, and implies that she is now content with her decision. But she nevertheless knows she took a life, and this knowledge will no doubt haunt her in the future. The “little ghost’ may return.

Also, when she says “blob of cells and tissue” she is underestimating her child’s development- at the time of her abortion, surgical abortions were not done before 7 weeks and abortions by pill were not available, meaning her baby looked like this: