They said it.
In an article quoting women who had abortions, one woman said:
“‘I did not tell many people about this abortion. I was deeply ashamed to be in this situation for a third time. How could a bright independent woman be in this predicament AGAIN?? I spiraled into a deep depression. I contemplated suicide and engaged in self-destructive behavior.’
Helen Susan Edelman, “Safe to Talk: Abortion Narratives as a Rite of Return,” Journal of American Culture 19, no. 4 (1996)
Share on FacebookA woman who had an abortion recalls the following conversation with the abortionist:
“I was in with the doctor, and I can still remember his face. I said, ‘I’m concerned about the individual that, you know, is being terminated.’ And he said, ‘Oh, they’re not individual yet.’ And that has set with me, because I have a background in Special Ed now. I know genetics and chromosomes, and you just don’t get the same match every time. Like the kid I had later is not the kid I aborted.”
Cara J. Marianna Abortion: A Collective Story (Westport, CT: Praeger, 2002) 64
Share on FacebookThe following story was told in the Journal of American Culture:
“In the small Idaho ranching community where I grew up there was an old woman, the matriarch of one of the wealthier ranching families, who had had a number of illegal abortions in addition to several children. When she was dying in the hospital, her last words, whispered to one of the nurses, were `Oh, all those little babies! I’m so sorry. What can I tell them? Will they forgive me?”‘
Helen Susan Edelman, “Safe to Talk: Abortion Narratives as a Rite of Return,” Journal of American Culture 19, no. 4 (1996)
Share on FacebookOne postabortion woman wrote:
“In 1994, I was with a small group of women, and we were sharing our struggles with one another. One young woman expressed how she had been struggling to bond with her newborn son. She said she had an abortion in college and felt it was why she couldn’t bond with her baby. She said she was going through abortion recovery counseling. I told her I had an abortion when I was 16, and it was no big deal. I said she simply needed to get over it.
About six months later an experience in my basement forced me to recall that conversation. I was cleaning out boxes, and I found my yearbook from my junior year in high school. I picked it up, thinking I’d take a quick stroll down memory lane, but something strange happened. Instead of opening the book and seeing the kids’ faces, the yearbook felt like a baby, my baby. I knew instantly it was my child that I had aborted. I knew she was a little girl. I could feel her resting in my hands. And I knew that I had missed out on parenting a wonderful person, who would have brought a lot of joy into the world.
For the first time in nineteen years, as I felt my baby’s presence in my arms, I realized the full impact of my abortion. And I began to cry. As I cried, I recalled the conversation from six months earlier and I immediately called the woman who spoke about her abortion. Through my sobs, I said I needed help. She came to my house and sat with me while I wept and began to grieve for my aborted baby….
[F]or 19 years I denied my abortion and any feelings about it. If asked about my opinion on abortion I would have said “I’m fine with my choice.” However when my walls of denial came down around me as I felt my baby in my arms, my pain and guilt were very real and I have found many women dealing with the emotional consequences of abortion with similar experiences. There is a sub-culture in our society that is dealing with the pain of abortion usually in secrecy. More than 15 books have been published on this issue and at least twenty-one abortion recovery programs exist nationwide. Abortion doctors fail to warn and prepare women for the psychological damage of abortion. Abortion creates a psychological dysfunction from the traumatic experience resulting in intense fear, the feeling of helplessness or being trapped, and loss of control.
The Reality of Abortion: Reflections on my Journey August 11, 2008. Visited 9/8/2017
Share on FacebookA woman who had an abortion by pill says it was “emotionally scarring.”
“[Abortion by pill] was the worst experience, the most physically and emotionally painful thing, that I’ve ever been through. The pill (RU-486) for me was the experience of having a baby. Contractions for 10 hours, sweating, screaming, being by myself. It was emotionally scarring and physically horrible.”
“Scientists Will Gather to Discuss Safety of Abortion Pill” New York Times May 11, 2006
Share on FacebookThe night after her abortion, then high school student Shelley Goodell got out of bed in the middle of the night and ran to her boyfriend’s house. She had had an abortion to continue her schooling, without telling her parents.
“That night I tried to sleep but didn’t rest. My dreams were full of agitation. In the middle of the night, I sneaked out of my house and ran. Don’t do anything physical for a few days until the risk of hemorrhage is past, echoed the nurse’s voice in my mind. I didn’t care. I couldn’t hold the emotional explosion inside of me that I wasn’t supposed to be having. I arrived at my boyfriend’s, sneaked up to his room, and woke him up. We both cried. I told him I thought we had done the wrong thing, and he agreed. I asked him why he didn’t say so before. He said he was afraid I would be mad because I was the one who had to carry the baby.
The baby – not a procedure or tissue or trash – the baby, our baby…All we could do was cry and realize the awful truth.
I skipped school for the next month. All those things I wanted to protect were meaningless to me.…. I sank into deep depression.”
Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 129 – 131
Share on FacebookFrom a woman who had two abortions:
“For ten years, I was pro-choice. I justified my actions by feeling anger toward the pro-life movement for not supporting pregnant women. But I never asked about their services. After all, it was my body, and I could do what I pleased with it.…
One day while watching my daughter, it finally hit me – I had killed my two children. I wept bitterly. My heart ached to hold my babies. Falling to my knees in prayer, I asked God for his forgiveness for my selfishness and deceit.”
Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 99-100
Share on FacebookDonna was in graduate school when she got pregnant. She tells her story:
“I was in complete shock with this news [of the pregnancy], and my boyfriend volunteered to pay for an abortion. He insisted it was the only choice. We could have kids after we got married. I tried to talk him out of the decision, but because of fear and denial, I was easily persuaded. …
[T]he doctor performed a suction abortion. I cried during the whole thing, I could’ve said, “Stop!”
The minute it was over, I wailed, “Why did he make me kill my baby?”
When we left the doctor’s office, we went directly to a church. My boyfriend waited in the car and could not understand the sorrow that overwhelmed me. A few weeks after the abortion, he left our relationship.
Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 147-148
Share on FacebookRosalie DiMaggio was firmly pro-choice when she had her abortion, but she came to regret it anyway:
“I knew abortion was an option for me, and I loved having that choice. It gave me power over my life. I talked to a supportive girlfriend who offered to go with me to the clinic. …
I was not influenced by any one person but by the society and culture I lived in. I was in favor of legalized abortion, I supported the women’s movement. …
Afterwards, my life took a downward turn, but I didn’t know it was related to the abortion. I can only see that now. I got divorced and involved with another man right away, and he became cruel and abusive. I started to drink excessively and spent a lot of time crying. I wanted to die and even planned my suicide…
When I stopped living in denial, I came to terms with the fact that I had killed my child.”
Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 44 – 45
Share on FacebookJolinda Lynch had an abortion when she was 13 years old. She recalls:
“My mother’s reaction confirmed my fears. What would people think? What about school?… We decided abortion was the answer. And we saw a counselor who assured me I was making a responsible decision; she referred me to Planned Parenthood.
Because I was in the second trimester, I had to go to a clinic out of town. The staff members were very supportive and even made the whole ordeal sound like fun.
“Go into the city, and shop while you are there,” one said.
The abortion took a long time. I still remember the horrid sound of the aspirator as they sucked life from my womb. I screamed the entire time. The doctor yelled at the nurse to give me another shot.
“Do you want to go home pregnant?” He asked me. “Grow up!”…
In the months that followed, I spent all my spare time alone in my room. My mom became concerned and took me back to Planned Parenthood. They counseled me to get a kitten, and then refused to see me after that. I felt so empty and wished I could go back and change things. For years I lived with inner turmoil and hated myself for what I had done…
I still deeply regret the choice I made almost 12 years ago.”
Wendy Williams, Ann Caldwell Empty Arms: More Than 60 Life-Giving Stories of Hope from the Devastation of Abortion (Chattanooga, Tennessee: Living Ink Books, 2005) 149 – 151
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