Often women have abortions at the urging of their partners. Tragically, many of the relationships do not survive the pain and resentment this causes.
“Eunice”, telling up her abortion:
“When I was at the clinic waiting for the abortion, I kept hoping my husband would show up. I kept hoping he would come in and say, “Don’t do this! I changed my mind!”
She had her abortion, and the marriage broke up several months later
Frederica Mathews-Green. Real Choices: Offering Practical, Life-Affirming Alternatives to Abortion (Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Books, 1994) 62
Kate:
“Nobody asked me, “Is this really what you want?… I was hoping and praying that someone, my husband, would come in and stop it from happening. But he was totally opposed to what I wanted to do. I felt like I was just being selfish, wanting the child; it was too much of a burden on his health.”
I asked how her husband’s health is now; she responds that he’s fine, but he isn’t her husband anymore. He left her a few years ago.”
Same book, p 63 to 64
The author, who interviewed these women and many others, made the following observation:
“When postabortion women talk about the reasons for their decision, they talk most often about the failure of the baby’s father to be supportive, to fill the father’s role. Unexpected pregnancy can raise some breathtaking problems, but a partner’s vigilant love has a way of easing them. Imagine a woman discovering a pregnancy in a difficult situation, but her partner saying to her, “I love you, I love our baby, I’ll do anything I can to make this family work.” On the other hand, imagine a story from one of my listening groups: a married woman with two kids, living in reasonable security, to whom her husband says, “Only ignorant people have more than two kids. I don’t want this baby. You have to have an abortion.” Which child will survive?”
p45
In a study that appeared in International Review of Family Planning (Vincent M. Rue “Abortion in Relationship Context” International Review of Natural Family Planning Summer 1985 p 105) 70% of relationships ended within six months of a woman’s abortion
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