Category: Abortion and the Disabled

Ryan Marquiss is a little boy who doctors said would not survive. His mother was pressured to abort because Ryan’s heart was developing outside his body. Many, many women would have aborted in this situation, but Ryan’s parents decided to fight for their son. From an article in the Trib:

“From his high chair in their Franklin Park home, Ryan Marquiss watched his mother make breakfast and help his sister, Natalie, 7, get ready for school. He finished eating his toast and lifted his hands triumphantly.

His sister, Ainsley, 5, rushed over to kiss his cheek, making him giggle. He pulled his T-shirt over his head, exposing his chest. His heart, formed outside his chest cavity and covered only by a thin layer of skin, beat visibly.

Ainsley cupped her hand over the pulsating heart, and Ryan, 2, squealed with delight as she tried to push it into his chest.”

Leighann and Henry Marquiss are his parents. Leighann describes how doctors initially pressured her to have an abortion:

“Over and over, they told us that my baby would not live past 20 weeks, that I should just terminate now. … Maybe now they’ll stop saying that to other mothers.”

The defect was discovered when Ryan was only 12 weeks old – a stage when abortion is legal and common.

From his mother:

“He’s just a normal boy,” Leighann said, watching the morning scene in her kitchen nearly three years later. “He falls down and scrapes his knees. He says, ‘Mommy, mommy, mommy.’ He plays with his sisters.”

You can see a video of Ryan and his family here.

Chris Togneri “Faith, love, hope: Miracle boy defies the odds” Trib Live December 4, 2011

Read about abortion and the disabled here.

A woman tells her story of an abortion of a down syndrome baby and then her subsequent birth of a disabled child. She shared this on a message board for women who aborted disabled children:

I have lurked here for years, and although my story may not be welcomed with open arms, I feel compelled to share it none-the-less. Like many of you, I received a pre-natal diagnosis that our precious baby had Down syndrome and a heart defect. It was completely unexpected and devastating, obviously. Like many of you, my first concern was for my daughter. What would having a sibling with special needs mean for her future? I didn’t want to burden her with a brother who would never be anything but a drain on our family. We didn’t have the resources of money, time, family support, etc. to be good parents to my daughter and a child with Down syndrome. I didn’t want to bring a child into the world only to suffer. These feelings were substantiated by the medical professionals involved in my care. They universally agreed that terminating was the right decision. So we made the choice, and I had the procedure. My grief was overwhelming.

About one year after the termination, I was again pregnant. I thought that perhaps we could finally move past the pain of losing our baby. The pregnancy was smooth, an amnio proved that the baby was healthy and that there were no chromosomal abnormalities. Everything seemed great. But at 22 weeks I went into labor, and the drs. were only able to stop it for a few weeks. My precious son was born at 25 weeks due to incompetent cervix, and both my OB and the perinatologist agreed that it was a direct result of the termination procedure. There was no other explanation. After months in the NICU, too many complications to recount, various surgeries and painful procedures, my son finally came home. And I was reminded everyday of the fact that my baby’s health issues and delays, his numerous special needs, were a direct result of trying to prevent having a baby with special needs. The irony continues to astound me.

But what I have learned in the 5 years since he was born amazes me more. I have learned that I do have the strength to raise this child. That yes, the drs. appts. and therapies which at the beginning seemed all encompassing, fade into the past as he grows older. I have seen my daughter grow beautifully into a compassionate and loving person. The experience of having a brother with special needs has exposed her to something that I always said I would teach my children. That different isn’t bad…that what makes a person beautiful isn’t what you can see with your eyes. In the NICU, and since then at the children’s hospital, in specialists’ offices, at the early intervention center, in school…I have seen that children with Down syndrome, and other special needs are not burdens to their parents. These families have challenges, sure, but they also have joy. Their lives are more “normal” than not. I have seen the pride on parents faces (and felt it myself) when a goal that comes easily to others is finally mastered. I have heard stories and witnessed myself marriages and families strengthened and enriched. I have seen that kids with Down syndrome, one of whom is now my son’s best friend, are absolutely not suffering. My son’s friend runs and laughs and plays, tells jokes, and is reading. He loves freely and fully. He had the same heart defect as the baby I terminated…and after surgery he was out of the hospital in a week and has never had any other complications.

I am not sharing my thoughts to cause pain to any members of this board. But I have nowhere to go with the guilt and pain I feel for the decision I made. I do not just regret being put in the situation; I deeply, and painfully, regret the choice that I made. And I think that even though the majority of people who post here seem not to struggle with that feeling, I know that I can’t be alone. I wish that I would have actually talked to parents of children with Down syndrome. Because one thing I know for sure—as capable and helpful as my son’s drs. and therapists are, not one of them can really know what it is like to be his parent, and to see the love that he brings to our family. My son’s needs in fact are greater and more complicated than most of the children with Down syndrome that I have encountered, but his life still has value. I never would have imagined myself in this position…and I didn’t think that I, or my marriage, or my daughter, could come out stronger for it. But we have. And now after the time I have spent with these children and their families, I don’t at all consider them fanatics. But advocates for the kids who have brought so much love to their lives. And I can also say unequivocally that these children and adults with Down syndrome “have a life”. As far as what NICU nurses and neonatologists would advise, after practically living in the NICU for over 3 months, I have no doubt what they would, and do say…Down syndrome is nothing compared to what so many families experience. These children can and do have a great quality of life and contribute to their families and communities, and are not considered a burden even by their adult siblings after the parents are gone.

I am not posting this to cause pain to anyone on this board. But I also cannot just sit back and not express my views on this subject. I do not judge anyone here, including myself…I know that we all made the best possible choices with the information we had. But I have lived both sides of this issue. I have terminated for T21 and now am raising a child with special needs. I wish I had known then what I know now.

This testimony may be found here.  It was posted on Thursday, May 17, 2009.

When Jennifer Mckinstry was pregnant with her third child Colton, he was diagnosed with hydrocephalus. She and her husband were devastated when doctors insisted she abort:

“We were told that we should terminate our pregnancy with Colton seven times,” explains Mckinstry, “and by three different doctors. The first time they told us to terminate the pregnancy was the hardest because it was all such a shock to us. The doctor was trying to tell me about his brain disorder and I couldn’t even hear him, everything was blurry and I felt so light headed. About a week later, we went to another doctor …and he told us that it would be best to terminate the pregnancy and that Colton wouldn’t make it. If he did make it, he would be a ‘vegetable’ who would never laugh or smile. After the second time that they told us to terminate we came back home and were so unsure of what to do. I never thought I would even think about terminating a pregnancy at all, but with everything the doctors were telling us, I wondered if it would be best. For three days, my husband and I thought back and forth if we should terminate or not. It was the most stressful and depressing days of my life. We decided that the best thing we could do was put it in God’s hands and pray, and whatever happened was meant to be. I just couldn’t think that God put Colton in our lives just to have him terminated. He was put here for a reason. The next month we were told a few more times to terminate the pregnancy because it would be best for Colton, and that it was selfish of us to keep him because he would be in so much pain if he even did make it. Well I am proud to say that Colton did make it through the pregnancy and when he was born was breathing on his own. He did need surgery to help drain extra fluid in his brain, but he is five months old now and is smiling, laughing, nursing, and meeting close to ever milestone for his age! The doctors are shocked and keeping telling us that he is doing amazingly well and way better than even the best case scenario they ever thought!”

Nancy Flanders “Clinic Tells Patients: “Wrong” Not to Abort Disabled Child” LifeNews 1/13/12 

According to researcher and writer Rayna Rapp:

“In England… three quarters of the obstetricians surveyed in one study replied that they required women to agree in principle to terminate an affected pregnancy before they perform an amniocentesis.”

Rayna Rapp Testing Women, Testing the Fetus: the Social Impact of Amniocentesis in America (New York: Routledge, 1999) 33

One wonders how the doctors planned to react if the woman broke the “agreement.”

From one couple who decided to abort when they found out their baby would be developmentally disabled:

 “If he can’t grow up to have a shot at becoming the president, we don’t want him.”

Rayna Rapp Testing Women, Testing the Fetus: the Social Impact of Amniocentesis in America (New York: Routledge, 1999) 92

From the mother of a child with Down Syndrome:

“I hate the thought that there will be fewer people with Down syndrome in the world as a result of advances in prenatal testing. As I’ve written before, it impoverishes us all when we selectively abort babies based upon particular characteristics (gender, for instance, in China and India … disabilities here in America). But I also hate the thought that mothers of children with Down syndrome think they are alone. Yes, some women choose abortion when they see a karyotype with three 21st chromosomes. But many other choose life.”

Amy Julia Becker “90% of Babies With Down Syndrome Aborted? Really?” Pantheos June 17, 2011