Category: Personal Stories

From a woman who had a daughter from rape:

“Innocent life came from one man’s intent to hurt me. But my baby hasn’t hurt me. She’s provided me with healing and growth and new experiences that I never knew could happen in my life…..

I’m so grateful I made the decision to have my daughter, because she’s brought me so much joy. Every day I wake up to a beautiful smile, and had I not made that decision, I would have been left with just a disaster on my heart….becoming a mother has changed me in ways I never imagined. I feel like the most optimal version of myself. … I’ve drawn out a lot of strength I didn’t know was there….

My daughter brings me a lot of hope for the future to let me know that not every disaster has to bring traumatic pain to where you can’t cope. It actually can bring beauty….

You can look for the beauty in the disaster. She’s my beauty.”

Fr. Mark Hodges “Pregnant after rape, Louise rejected abortion and never looked back” Live Action News October 13, 2017

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A woman describes how her mother had an abortion after rape and how it affected her:

“My mother was raped at age 16. Her parents forced her to have an abortion. She stopped going to church, dropped out of high school and became depressed. Her young adulthood was during WWII and she had a problem with relationships. She eventually married my father after only a two week courtship and she told him what a horrible woman she was because of the abortion.

They vowed to have as many children as possible. God sent them ten children and she lost one to miscarriage; she mourned the lost baby along with her aborted child. When she was pregnant with me, her third child in four years, the doctor told her she wasn’t really pregnant and that he would remove some tissue. She knew what he meant and got another doctor.

I told my dad how blessed I was that mom knew what he meant and he then told me, 60 years later, that the reason she knew was because of the rape and subsequent abortion. She took this secret to her grave and I would have never known except my dad was praising me for getting involved in the pro-life movement through 40 Days for Life.

I was almost not here along with my four children and six grandchildren. My dad told me she mourned that aborted child her whole life and she never forgot and never received healing. My mother died at age 67 and I was told her secret when I was 60.

Rape hurt my mother, but abortion devastated her.”

Comment on Elliot Institute website

“Rape hurt my mother, but abortion devastated her.” Afterabortion.org

Visited 2/26/2018

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Kathy DeZeeuw survived a brutal rape and got pregnant. She tells her story of what happened after the assault:

“I didn’t tell a single person what happened to me, I just went home…. I lived in constant fear, remembering the threats of my attacker and what he would do to me if anyone found out.

I was fearful of being pregnant and having this person’s child. As a result of the fear, I felt ending the life of “his child” was the only solution.

I attempted to abort by swallowing a bottle of aspirin. I ate ant poison and jumped off haystacks, but nothing worked. When the child inside me moved for the first time, I was horrified. But I would come to recognize that I no longer wanted to abort the child.

When my parents discovered I was pregnant, it was decided that the baby would be placed for adoption, so I was sent out of state to a maternity home until after the delivery. While away from my family, I began to feel an attachment to the baby. It was no longer “his child,” it was my child.

After 27 hours of labor, my son was born. Because he was to be placed for adoption, I was not allowed to hold my son, but could only see him from a distance through the nursery window. Even though I had tried to abort my child, now he was a part of me. My maternal feelings had grown so strong that I could not bear to be without him.

With the support of my family, I brought my son home with me. There were times when I would struggle with the memories of the assault, and looking back now, an adoptive home may have provided my son with a more stable upbringing, but I am not sorry that I kept and raised my son.

To me it is an affront every time I hear all the rhetoric from the pro-abortionists. I, having lived through rape, and having also “conceived in rape,” feel personally insulted every time I hear that abortion should be legal because of rape and incest.

I feel like cases like mine are being used to further the abortion issue even though we are not being asked to tell our side of the “rape” issue. My son is not a “misfit,” nor has he in any way turned out to be like his biological father.

The rape still affects me today in only one way: That is, I’m so very blessed and proud of my son.”

Julie Makimaa Kathy Hoffmaster The Hard Cases of Abortion: A Pro-Life Response Family Research Council, 2000, 14 – 15

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A woman who became pregnant after rape writes about her abortion:

“My child was three and a half weeks old when I made the decision to have an abortion, killing him and wounding my heart forever. …

A few years passed and I tried my best to forget what happened. Stitches were removed, wounds healed and even scars began to fade. From an outside perspective, I looked as though I was doing much better, but my heart was plagued with the decision that I’d made.  I could never fully push it away, despite my best efforts.

I put up a good front, pretending that everything was fine. In reality, I had found my way to a secret life of drugs, alcohol and just about anything else I could do to numb the pain I felt inside my heart…..

Now, nearly five years removed from the decision to have my abortion, I can say with some certainty that I regret it to the fullest extent possible. My heart hurts deeply with the wounds that came from my assault.  But the pain of knowing that I will never meet my child hurts more deeply. While I continue to wonder how I could have coped with having a baby from rape, I know that killing him did nothing to heal my pain.”

“After I was raped I aborted my child, but that only increased the pain” LifeSiteNews Feb 24, 2012

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A woman who was raped and decided to have her baby wrote:

“… I can honestly say that keeping my daughter was a great decision, and I really enjoy being a mother. Although she was conceived in traumatic circumstances, I came to understand that she had done nothing wrong and was not responsible for the way she came into the world.

Some people have judged me harshly for carrying the child of a rapist; but when I look at my daughter I don’t see the face of my rapist – I see my beautiful daughter, who I love. She is the proof that something good can come from something terrible…”

Lisa Firth Issues: Abortion – Rights and Ethics (Great Shelford, Cambridge: Independence, 2009) 22

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A woman who was raped and had her baby says:

“I had no support, and at times I felt like I was drowning in darkness. Yet I had one magnificent secret gift – the flourishing life of my unborn baby. This life gave me a thread of hope to begin to heal. I gave birth to a precious baby girl with blue eyes and dark hair, so tiny and so vulnerable. I named her Jennifer, and I knew she was a sacred gift to be loved and cherished. My daughter is wonderful, and she has touched many lives including my own. I am so thankful for giving birth to her; I have no regrets.”

“This Is Not Your Only Choice” Human Life Alliance 2012

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A woman named Doris tells her story:

“On the outside I was a normal 15-year-old, enjoying shopping with my friends, listening to music and going to the movies, but inside something was terribly wrong.

At the hospital I learned that in addition to being very sick with the flu, I was pregnant. I felt ashamed and dirty, and terrified about explaining the horrible things that my father had done to me.

The doctor asked me what I planned to do. I told him I wanted to have my baby. Despite the pain of knowing who the father of my baby was, I had seen The Silent Scream in high school and knew I could never harm the baby…

When my father heard that I was pregnant, he flew into a rage, demanding an abortion. The doctor refused because it was against my wishes, but my father was able to find another doctor who didn’t care about how I felt.

It took three nurses to hold and strap me down on the table. They tried to sedate me, but I kept screaming that I didn’t want an abortion. Eventually, I was placed under general anesthetic and my baby was killed.

I was told that my parents knew what was best for me, but I knew their only concern was hiding our family secret. After the abortion, the abuse continued. The evidence was gone and I was left with a broken heart.

It would be two more years before I would escape my abusive father. I wish I could’ve done more to save the life of my daughter. In my mind, it didn’t matter how she was conceived; she was an innocent victim, just as I was.

I know that the abortion wasn’t my fault, but I can’t help feeling the pain of losing my child. I wish I could’ve done more to fight for her life. I will never forget her.”

Letter to Julie Makimaa

Julie Makimaa Kathy Hoffmaster The Hard Cases of Abortion: A Pro-Life Response Family Research Council, 2000, 17 – 18

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