A woman named Margaret tells the story of her abortions. and how her daughter was born:
“The first time I was 26 and involved with a married colleague, and after three months I found out that I was pregnant.
At first I thought I was having a child with the man I loved, but when he came back with the news he was going to get back with his wife, that’s when it changed from being a baby to a problem.
I didn’t think I could cope. There were emotional influences, being ashamed, telling my parents that I was pregnant, and having to leave work.
I was feeling fear and panic. I was reacting to a crisis and I had never had a crisis like that in my life.
My life was out of control and I wanted to get back to normal.
I went to the British Pregnancy Advice Service for counselling. I asked if at ten weeks it was a baby and they said, ‘No, it’s just cells.”
Preborn baby at 9-10 weeks
I felt like it wasn’t a baby and that was my get-out clause; I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
Afterwards I was emotionally numb and although I didn’t have an emotional breakdown, I became anorexic. I was promiscuous for some time. But at the time I didn’t think it had anything to do with the abortion.
But nine years later there was an almost repeat – I met a guy at work and I didn’t know he was married.
The second time we went out we had intercourse and I took the risk of unprotected sex as I thought as an older woman I couldn’t possibly become pregnant.
But I did. Two weeks later I realised and had that same feeling of panic, I couldn’t believe I was back in this crisis.
I had an abortion, but ten weeks later my period hadn’t come back, I went back to the doctor who said I was still pregnant.
They sent me for a scan and that is when my denial ended. When I saw that baby with its heart beating, I knew that nine years ago I had destroyed a baby.
Before my daughter was born four months later I was worried how I would love it, but when she was born the feelings were just amazing.
I realised that I had been reacting out of fear and not really thinking. I was in denial: ‘It wasn’t really a baby but cells.’
Women deserve more than abortion in a crisis. There are other options, why should the death of a baby be the only answer?”
“Abortion stories: Relief and regret” BBC News 24 October 2007
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