Rape survivor glad she had her son

Kathy DeZeeuw survived a brutal rape and got pregnant. She tells her story of what happened after the assault:

“I didn’t tell a single person what happened to me, I just went home…. I lived in constant fear, remembering the threats of my attacker and what he would do to me if anyone found out.

I was fearful of being pregnant and having this person’s child. As a result of the fear, I felt ending the life of “his child” was the only solution.

I attempted to abort by swallowing a bottle of aspirin. I ate ant poison and jumped off haystacks, but nothing worked. When the child inside me moved for the first time, I was horrified. But I would come to recognize that I no longer wanted to abort the child.

When my parents discovered I was pregnant, it was decided that the baby would be placed for adoption, so I was sent out of state to a maternity home until after the delivery. While away from my family, I began to feel an attachment to the baby. It was no longer “his child,” it was my child.

After 27 hours of labor, my son was born. Because he was to be placed for adoption, I was not allowed to hold my son, but could only see him from a distance through the nursery window. Even though I had tried to abort my child, now he was a part of me. My maternal feelings had grown so strong that I could not bear to be without him.

With the support of my family, I brought my son home with me. There were times when I would struggle with the memories of the assault, and looking back now, an adoptive home may have provided my son with a more stable upbringing, but I am not sorry that I kept and raised my son.

To me it is an affront every time I hear all the rhetoric from the pro-abortionists. I, having lived through rape, and having also “conceived in rape,” feel personally insulted every time I hear that abortion should be legal because of rape and incest.

I feel like cases like mine are being used to further the abortion issue even though we are not being asked to tell our side of the “rape” issue. My son is not a “misfit,” nor has he in any way turned out to be like his biological father.

The rape still affects me today in only one way: That is, I’m so very blessed and proud of my son.”

Julie Makimaa Kathy Hoffmaster The Hard Cases of Abortion: A Pro-Life Response Family Research Council, 2000, 14 – 15

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Author: Sarah

Sarah is a member of the board of The Pro-life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians.

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