I am a 32 yrs. old and have 2 children. When a good friend told me about your site I decided to check it out, never in my dreams was I prepared for what I saw. I have had several abortions but have never seen it as I have today.
The pain, hurt and disappointment that I feel for myself and for what I have done are worse now than ever before. The thought of what I had done has always been there but I had never pictured it as I do now. To think that my oldest son is 10 and I had made three separate appointments to have an abortion when I was pregnant with him just breaks my heart. How could I even think of life without him right now…there is no way. So now I feel the pain for the others that I did not give that chance to…why? My youngest is 2 and at first I had doubts but I live a different life now than I did then so I know I have become a better person…for the better of us all.
But I cannot contain the pain that I feel right now as I am writing to you I am in tears for those other children which I never gave a chance to live. My last abortion was done in March of 1995 and I was about 16 weeks into that pregnancy and I had to be dilated for a day before having the abortion. I never thought that it was so developed at that point I figured that like my previous pregnancies it was just tissue or something else. I lied to myself for I knew it wasn’t right and now that I have seen what I have done it just tears me up inside. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have not gotten more information and tried to know exactly what I was doing…though I knew that in God’s eyes it was wrong that is the only thing I thought of. Now I only ask that he forgive me and help me to bring knowledge to those who don’t. It is something that I have always felt bad for doing but today I see it in a new light…it is much worse than I thought.
If there is anything I can do to help others and help them with this choice I will be more than willing to do so. The pain that your heart will eventually endure has no measure. May God forgive us all.
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