I became Pro-Life in July 2010, and the reason I became Pro-Life isn’t the greatest, nor am I proud of it. All I know is we all make mistakes and we learn from them. I sure did.In May 2010 I noticed something wasn’t right about my body. I went to the Birth Control Clinic in the London-Middlesex Heath Unit to take a pregnancy test because I knew there could be a chance that I was pregnant. It was confirmed that on May 12, 2010, I was four weeks pregnant. I was so scared and devastated. I couldn’t believe what I heard and I started to cry in front of the doctors who told me this. I told them right away that I was choosing to have an abortion. I called a lot of close people to tell them what I had found out, including the father of the baby.
That night I did not want to be alone, so my younger sister came over to spend the night. On May 13, 2010, I called the Woman’s Health Clinic at Victoria Hospital to book my appointment for an ultrasound. They had to wait until I was six-eight- weeks pregnant. They booked it for June 4, 2010. When that date came I went to the clinic for the ultrasound. I was kind of excited about it.
When I got to see the fetus something in my heart changed. I wanted this baby. They even showed me the babies little heart. I really felt like I wanted to change my mind. But I also was too scared to continue with the pregnancy. So, I let my mom talk me into having an abortion. I did feel like I was taking someone’s life from them.
On June 18, 2010, I was getting the abortion. I felt very scared that morning, because I knew what I was going to do would change my life. My friend and I went to Victoria Hospital at 7a.m. The appointment was at 7:30a.m. When I got there I was led into a room with a lot of people. They gave me a gown and slippers to put on. I was in bed for an hour until they told me to take two white pills. At 8a.m. they put in my IV. I could tell that most of the women there were for abortions. They cried. I asked my friend, “Why am I not crying?” They said it was because I was thinking more about myself; the women crying were thinking more about the baby. Maybe some of them didn’t want an abortion, but got talked into it by a doctor because of pregnancy complications. I felt bad for the women who cried. At 8:30a.m. they took me to another room where they quickly put me to sleep. Before I fell asleep, I remember seeing four doctors with a lot of surgical tools.
I woke up in the recovery room feeling like it never even happened. But I knew it did. I killed my baby. I told myself wow, it is now done. At the time I didn’t know a lot about the procedure. I felt so depressed after getting it done because the feeling of not being pregnant anymore really struck me. It was like I missed it. I now know what it’s like to lose a child.
At the end of June, almost a week after the abortion I fell into a really bad depression, to the point where I needed someone to talk to. I went to my pastor for help and it did help. I believe that all aborted babies go to heaven. God knew them before He formed them in the womb. I even named my baby Kacey. It’s a boy’s and girl’s name. I was 11 weeks pregnant when I let my baby go to heaven.
From Priests for Life. Used with permission.
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