Hi, I guess I’ve never done this before. Like tell someone about my problems without even knowing them. But I feel like I need to get this off my chest. The pain I have been feeling ever since I got an abortion. It’s not a physical pain its just an emotional pain that I have inside me. I had my first abortion at 18, I never knew I would remember this for the rest of my life.
It all started when I was dating this guy in high school, we were head over heels about each other. We started having sex and without using a condom. Of course I knew the risks about having sex unprotected but at that moment I didn’t care. It was around the end of my senior year when I noticed I wasn’t getting my period. I told my boyfriend and he told me to buy a pregnancy test and I did. It came out positive, I was sooo scared I did not know what to do. I was afraid to tell my parents because to them I was still their little girl. As soon as I told my boyfriend he told me that he was too young to have a baby and that his mom would kill him. Then he asked me if I was going to keep it and I told him yeah.
He got so mad that he told me that he would break up with me. All he said was that he would come up with the money and to make an appointment with the clinic. Since I had no to talk to or I chose not to I decided to go through with the procedure. That day we went to the clinic and I didn’t even speak to him. He gave the so called nurse the money. Automatically, they took me into this room with a bed, made me take off my clothes and put on a gown. After that all I remember is asking the doctor if this was going to hurt. He said no. Later I woke up in the recovery room with other women beside me. After that me and my boyfriend broke up and never spoke to each other again.
Thru some of my friends I have found out that he has a baby with another girl. This is the worst experience in my life and I hope no one has to go thru it. It is a life u are killing and something u will regret for the rest of your life. You will ask yourself day after day what the baby might of been, who it might of looked like, I know I do. Every night I pray for that baby that didnt have a chance to live and I hope that God is taking care of him or her for me. And that just maybe when I go to heaven I will get the chance to see and be with my baby.
Linda
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