I had an abortion because my family thought it was the best for me. I was a sophomore in high school with high hopes of going to medical school to become a plastic surgeon.
When the day came that my sister scheduled me for an abortion, I was brought to the private OB/GYN office by my mother. I remember vividly the feeling I had as I sat there, just 15 years old, next to my mother as the happy expectant couples that filled the office stared at me with curious eyes trying to figure out why I was there. My head hung low as I got up after my name being called. I was escorted to the procedure room and was asked to disrobe. It all happened so fast. Before I knew it, I was drifting into nothingness. All I remember is the sound of a vacuum filling the room.
Immediately after the abortion, I felt nothing. I felt empty. As time went on after the abortion, I felt and experienced deep thoughts of suicide, but my faith kept me from attempting.
I regretted not only the abortion, but the fact that having it done wasn’t even my decision. Not once was I asked what I wanted to do. It all happened so fast.
As time went on I started to live life again. I finished high school and began college. I was in a relationship with the man whom I went on to marry and it was then that the regret began to creep up again. When I began to think of having children with my husband, I was consumed with guilt. It haunted me. I would often break out in tears at any moment. My husband held my hand and helped me to deal with the pain.
After five years of holding in this secret, I went, alone, to confess. It was the most intense moment of my life to speak these words to a priest. “I had an abortion.” He gave my penance and I’ve began my healing.
From Priests for Life
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