Category: Women’s Stories

A post-abortive woman named Tammy tells her story:

“I was a scared 16-year-old girl when I had my abortion. It is the worst decision I have ever made and I have regretted it for the nearly 20 years since it happened. I went to a clinic in Illinois. I was a minor, of course, and did not have to have any parental consent.

I also did not receive proper counseling. I have no idea to this day what kind of procedure I had. I was also not sure how far along I was in the pregnancy.

I do remember discussion between the doctor and nurse stating the pregnancy was farther along than they originally thought. That did not stop them from doing the procedure.

I was left afterward feeling worthless, empty, and I regret this experience every single day. It has taken years for me to recover emotionally, although I am not sure if a woman can ever completely recover.”

Janet Morana Everything You Need to Know about Abortion – For Teens (Gastonia, North Carolina: TAN Books, 2021) 111

Jeannie Smith, a postabortion woman who is now pro-life, describes her abortion:

“Internally I was screaming STOP! But I knew it was too late.
As I listened to the sound of the procedure, I slowly rolled my head to the left only to feel a tear of pain trickle down my face…

Little did I know that one tear would remain with me the rest of my life. It would cause years of pain, an unhappy life filled with shame, and guilt that eventually caused a heart of stone.”

Jeannie Smith Shattered into Beautiful: Delivering the Brokenhearted from Abortion (Enumclaw, Washington: WinePress Publishing, 2011) 15

Tameka S Bright wrote a book about her abortion and postabortion trauma. She describes how she felt when she got pregnant years after her abortion:

“With my pregnancy, I was so scared that something would be wrong with my child. The guilt of the abortion came back to me and I thought I would be punished and possibly lose the baby.”

Tameka S Bright Broken for the Purpose (2020) 66

Carol Jackson wrote a book about her trauma after an abortion. She writes:

“… I led a secret promiscuous lifestyle and numbed myself with food, alcohol, and sometimes drugs… My life looked good on the outside, but I hated myself.

Had I not feared the devastating effects on my three living children, I would have committed suicide. I spent hours planning how to do it and trying to work up the courage. I did make one halfhearted attempt…

At the same time as my life was unraveling behind the scenes, I was also active in my church, having grown up in the church. I taught Sunday school, went on a mission trip, and worked on the Billy Graham Crusade team when he came to Cleveland. I had a responsible job, moving up from an administration position into management. I got elected to the local school board…

Because I had been so successful in blocking memories of the abortion, I never made any connection with the mess my life was, until I turned on the car radio one day. I was driving and listening to Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family interview some woman about post-abortion syndrome… By the time she got done explaining it, I was crying so hard I had to pull off the road… I had all but one of the symptoms.”

Carol Jackson I’m Sorry: Recovering from the Right to Choose (2020) 28, 29, 30, 32 – 33

Author Carol Jackson wrote a book about her postabortion trauma. She writes about how she struggled emotionally after her abortion for 30 years, and it led to the breakup of her marriage:

“The next three decades were rough ones. I spent a great deal of time in self-destructive behaviors, subconsciously punishing myself. I sabotaged my marriage…

Subconsciously I blamed my husband for not standing up to me and saying no to the abortion because I wasn’t able then to accept responsibility for my actions. Women who abort their babies instinctively know that what they’ve done is wrong…

When my husband and I got divorced on our ninth anniversary, my life further unraveled, and I sank into depression.”

Carol Jackson I’m Sorry: Recovering from the Right to Choose (2020) 26 – 27

Carol Jackson had a son before she had an abortion and twin girls afterward. In her memoir, she describes how having an abortion affected being a mother to her twins and made it difficult for her to hold babies:

“I took good care of them and loved them, but I never really allowed myself to enjoy the girls as babies like I had with their brother.

I’ve also realized that over the years I’ve avoided holding babies, and still generally don’t, except for my own grandchildren. I had an especially difficult time holding my first grandson who was born at 26 weeks, weighing under two pounds.”

Carol Jackson I’m Sorry: Recovering from the Right to Choose (2020) 23 – 24

A woman who gave her name as May tells her story:

“I was raised in the Catholic Church and knew what I was doing was wrong, but selfishly did it anyway. Turning my back on God, even for that one instant, was the biggest mistake of my life…

My boyfriend was perfect. He never mentioned the word abortion and began planning right away how we would take care of our child.

I listened but never heard him. I decided on my own that I would have an abortion. He tried to talk me out of it and even at the last minute asked me if that’s what I really wanted. I think what makes it even harder is that it was my choice and I can’t blame anyone else.

The procedure was so easy, too easy. I felt no pain but at the same time, I lost all emotions. Immediately afterward I tried to forget. I stopped going to church and convinced myself that everything worked out for the better. What a joke, I now know the truth and it hurts more than any physical pain ever could.

Every baby, every pregnant mother, every day reminds me of what I so carelessly threw away: a life. All I wanted is my best friend back. That best friend was God. I know God forgives and I know the church will accept me back with open arms, but how do I forgive myself?”

Martha Jensen Abortion: Information and One’s Own Journey (2020)

Jacqueline Middler had two abortions and is now pro-life. She wrote a book about the trauma her abortions caused her. She writes:

“Even though I’d kept that shame and deep pain locked away, it became a persistent part of my life. I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. But those superficial things didn’t erase the guilt I felt inside. The effects of choosing abortion lingered in my life, and subsequently, I made other poor choices as a result.”

Jacqueline Middler White Stick (Enumclaw, Washington: Redemption Press, 2020) xiv