Personal Stories Archives - Page 22 of 35

Man tells story of postabortion grief

On LifeSiteNews, a man gave his testimony of regret after his girlfriend Kelly had 2 abortions. Here is an excerpt.

“We became pregnant three months into our relationship. Kelly and I both grew up attending church and knew how our parents felt about sex outside of marriage, so that seemed to leave very few options for us. Kelly convinced herself she had to have an abortion so that we could try to hide what, honestly, our parents already knew was going on. Her friend took her to have the abortion, and we never discussed it.

Within one month, however, we found ourselves pregnant again, and we aborted the second child just as quickly to hide our shame. This time, I took her to the clinic. As I sat there in the waiting room, I could hear crying and saw women come out with tears running down their faces. This scared me because I was told “this was just a small procedure and it wouldn’t hurt Kelly or the tissue at all.” In my heart, I knew this was a baby, not tissue.

When Kelly came out, she was groggy and looked to be in a lot of pain, which made me furious about the lies we had been told. As we drove home, neither of us said a thing. We sat in silence as I contemplated our decision. Sadly, because of my inability to be a man, I put it all aside and we went on with our relationship.

Kelly and I eventually got married, but many years after the abortions I realized I was in pain. My inability to protect those I was entrusted to care for created a domino effect of bad choices. … I self-medicated my pain with pornography and alcohol and searched for ways to find my voice …. I was a broken man with a broken wife, two children in heaven, and was trying to pick up the pieces of what my indifference had done. I watched Kelly find healing from the abortions and eventually decided I needed help, too. The healing process made me realize that I was meant to be a Daddy to those two children and that my silence never allowed me to be that for them.”

Read the whole testimony here.

Matt Clinger “The curse of Adam’s silence – a MAN’s post-abortion testimony” LifeSiteNews Jan 20, 2012

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3 year old sister of aborted baby: Mom, why didn’t you kill me too?

When I was 3 years old I saw my mom on TV. She was speaking to a man about how she killed her baby and regretted it. As she told her story and how she became a pro-life speaker, I watched and listened. My grandma didn’t think I was old enough to understand.

When my mom picked me up that night I asked her why she killed my brother or sister and why she didn’t kill me. My mom said she was in shock that her 3-year-old would ask these questions. She answered them the best she could for me, and as I got older I learned more.

This is the testimony of Alex. She and her mom are now pro-life speakers.

Source: Teenbreaks.com

Even at three, Alex knew she’d lost a brother or sister. Children pick up on things adults say, even things about abortion.

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Mother of baby aborted due to disability describes her partner’s grief

A couple aborted their baby because he or she would’ve been handicapped. In this quote, the mother is talking about her partner’s reaction:

“I think it’s real for him, but there’s just a real difference in how the experience feels. I mean, he doesn’t experience it in the same way, it wasn’t as much of a personal loss, it was a different kind of loss for him. He’s very closed off about his own emotions, and it’s something that he doesn’t articulate, and he doesn’t want to articulate, he prefers to get away from it. He grieves differently… I kept a journal the whole pregnancy, and I wanted to burn that journal to finish it that way… And he couldn’t do it, he just couldn’t do it. The most he could do was read it privately – he absolutely had to do it by himself – and then he had to put it away, he couldn’t burn it… We approach life differently; I just have to respect his way of doing things.”

Rayna Rapp Testing Women, Testing the Fetus: the Social Impact of Amniocentesis in America (New York: Routledge, 1999) 260

This quote shows that both men and women sometimes grieve after abortion. Abortion is not the easy, quick solution it seems to be, whether the couple is aborting because they do not want a baby or aborting because they do not want their disabled baby in particular.

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Professor: men may need counseling after partner’s abortion

“Men hurt a lot more than they’re given credit for. Counseling for men, to give them a chance to express bottled up feelings… Is very, very important.”

Prof. Art Shostak, Drexel University

“For Men Only” Easton Publishing Company, PO Box 1064, Jefferson City, MO 65102

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Father of aborted child wishes he could have saved his baby

A British man discusses his girlfriend’s abortion:

“Becoming a parent is supposed to be one of the most exciting – and of course scary – moments in the journey of life and losing a child is said to be one of the worst. Now, I found myself tasting both sensations at once. I had quickly come to terms with the prospect of parenthood, before fighting in vain to save the life I helped create. Nothing can describe the profound sense of powerlessness that comes with watching someone terminate a life that you helped create. I felt alone in a sea of pain, desperate to keep afloat.

Despite my best efforts, Jenny went through with the abortion. The pregnancy was over and, weeks later, so was our relationship. Six months later, she got in touch and suggested that we meet again. But the pain was too great and we parted ways for good.

Wounds do heal over time – even deep ones – but scars remain. Eight years later, I find myself incredibly blessed with a beautiful, bright and loving wife, a 19-month-old son and a daughter due in January. At times, I can’t help but look into my son’s deep grey-blue eyes and wonder what his older brother or sister might have been like.

Sadly, my story is not unique; other men have experienced the same anguish. …”

Tony Perry “‘I wish I could have prevented my girlfriend’s abortion’ Telegraph 12 Sep 2014

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Father not ready to “try again” after wife aborts his disabled child

Woman speaking about the father of her aborted baby. they aborted a previously wanted baby because amniocentesis showed that the child was handicapped:

“Even though he wasn’t talking, I think he may have taken it a little bit harder than even I did, because he seemed to be more afraid to try again… I was more optimistic, and I guess he was still grieving, and I was already on to, “okay, let’s try this again.” But he wasn’t ready, he was more afraid. Even when he’s not talking, I know what he’s feeling.”

Rayna Rapp Testing Women, Testing the Fetus: the Social Impact of Amniocentesis in America (New York: Routledge, 1999) 216

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A letter to an aborted baby, from her sibling

This appeared at National Right to Life’s blog. It is a letter that was written by the sibling of an aborted baby:

About a week ago my mother told me that she had an abortion before I was born. It devastated me. Mourning someone I have never met seems bizarre to me, yet I am so sad. To help me find closure I wrote my half sibling, that I will never meet, a letter.

I think there is a lot of focus on the baby, the mother, or at most the father, which is great and needed, but I also think pointing out the effects an abortion can have for future children would prove to be very impactful. I did not even exist when my half sibling was killed, yet it has affected me tremendously.

Below is the letter:

She was 15 when your life started, 16 when your life ended. She said no one told her you were more than a lump of tissue. I’m sorry for ignorance.

Your father would be 57 now. She said he doesn’t know. I wish she told him. I wish he fought for you. I wish somebody fought. I’m sorry for secrets.

You would have been my half sibling. 14 years older than me. She took you from me before I even existed…before I could do anything. I’m sorry for unfairness.

You would have been 34 years old. You would have more than likely been married and have your own children. I would have nieces and nephews, you would have a family. But you weren’t even given a name. I’m sorry for abandonment.

Maybe when my other siblings were telling me lies and devaluing me, you would have spoken truth. Maybe you would have stood up for me when no one did. I’m sorry for life being devalued.

Is it possible to miss someone you’ve never even met?…because my heart longs for you. It longs for you to have life. I’m sorry for death.

I wish you could have come to my graduation, I wish I could have gone to yours. I wish we were friends. I wish I could call you right now. I wish we could share all of our joys and griefs. I wish we were at least given a chance.

I’m sorry for selfishness.

It’s just so unfair for you…for us. How could she have killed you? How could our grandmother drive our mother to the clinic so that they could murder you? I’m sorry for silence.

I miss you. I love you.

I’m so sorry no one loved you

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Mother tells story of 12-year-old rape victim

The Statement of Joyce Farley of Pennsylvania, Hearing on the Child Custody Protection Act before the Subcommittee on the Constitution, House Judiciary Committee, May 21, 1998:

I’m here today to tell you why I support the Child Custody Protection Act. My daughter was a victim of several horrible crimes between the ages of 12 and 13. My child was provided alcohol, raped, and then taken out of state by a stranger to have an abortion. This stranger turned out to be the mother of the adult male who provided the alcohol and then raped my 12-year-old daughter while she was unconscious. The rapist’s mother arranged and paid for an abortion to be performed on my child. This woman lied and falsified records at the abortion clinic to make sure this abortion would be completed without my knowledge. The abortion had been arranged to destroy evidence – evidence that my 12-year-old daughter had been raped…

Following the abortion, the mother of the rapist dropped off my physically and emotionally battered child in another town 30 miles away from our home. The plan was to keep the rape and abortion a secret. If I’d not contacted the state police… when I found my child missing, she might not be alive today. Severe pain and bleeding revealed complications from an incomplete abortion. This required further medical care and a second abortion to be performed…

The bill you are considering today may help prevent this from happening to my neighbor’s child, my future grandchildren, or any child in the United States. It has been 3 years since these crimes were committed, but my daughter still suffers physically and emotionally…

Despite Joyce Farley’s pleadings, pro-choice activists successfully killed the bill. It has never become law on a national level.

Sarah Terzo “MOTHER OF UNDERAGE RAPE VICTIM GIVES TESTIMONY FOR LAW PROTECTING MINORS” Live Action June 21, 2014

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Church elders coerce woman into having an abortion

In the pro-choice Christian book Abortion: My Choice, God’s Grace, a Christian woman describes how her husband and elders at a fundamentalist Church she was attending coerced her into having an abortion.

She and her husband were separated. When he discovered she was pregnant, he demanded that she have an abortion.

“I sought out a trusted elder and explained my dilemma to him. What should I do? I asked him if he would intervene on my behalf with my husband.

After conferring with the other male leaders in the church, he came back with his response. The male leadership agreed it would not be good for me to have the pressures of an additional child while trying to resume a marriage. But the most important issue was that I must obey my husband’s decision.

The church did not approve of abortion and believed that I would be committing a grave sin if I had one; nevertheless, my husband’s authority was absolute and none of them would speak to him about changing his mind. The only help they offered was to pray that Tom of his own accord might decide to allow me to keep the baby.

That change of mind did not happen, so the day came for my abortion. One of the elders and his wife dropped me off at the corner of the street where the abortion clinic was located. It was obvious that they did not want to be seen anywhere nearby. “Were going shopping and will meet you for lunch at the diner on the corner,” they said, quickly disappearing.…

The young woman assigned to be my counselor asked me why I wanted an abortion, and I told her how I was learning to be a submissive wife and how my husband had to learn to assume responsibility for his leadership.

She didn’t understand any of this talk and especially not any of my tears. I kept clutching my New Testament and praying for the miracle deliverance that was supposed to save my baby and me from this trial.

As I returned to the waiting room, I noticed that nearly everyone else had someone with her to stay by her side during the waiting period and then take her home afterwards. I had only my New Testament. “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil… Lord, forgive them, for they don’t know what they do… Wives, be subject to your husbands in everything…”

I kept repeating verses over and over to myself, interspersed with prayers for deliverance: “Lord, you honored Sarah’s faithfulness and obedience to her husband when he sold her off to a harem. I beg you to intervene miraculously on my behalf, too.… God, as Abraham was called upon to sacrifice his dearly beloved son, I offer this baby up to you in obedience. Where is your substitutionary ram? Even now you can deliver my baby as you did with Isaac.”

But there was to be no miraculous intervention, only the sound of my sobs, with no one there to hug me or wipe away my tears. The doctor’s assistant proceeded with the abortion. I tried to close my eyes so that I could at least mentally escape, but the attendant said I had to keep my eyes open “to make sure I was alright.”

Afterwards I was sent to lie down in a recovery room with several other women. Between sobs, I noticed that every other woman in the room had someone else there with her offering her comfort and support…

An hour later the elder and his wife picked me up at the diner and took me home. No one else in the church was informed about what I had done…

When my children and I moved back to Delaware [To reunite with her husband], the illusions of the people in the church remained intact. I was going off into the sunset with another healed marriage for which they could praise God.…”

Within a short period of time, her husband admitted that he had been having an affair all along and left her for the other woman. She concludes:

“This church continues to speak out against the situation ethics of liberals and non-Christians, contrasting it with an ethics based on the inerrant truth of the Bible. Nevertheless, in actual situations not clearly covered in the Bible, fundamentalist Christians like these rely on a sort of working code that defies logic and ignores God’s concern for persons.”

The emotional price paid by me and my children during this period in our lives was tremendous… But the greatest pain was in not finding any loving support from Christians… Instead, we found hypocrisy.”

Anne Eggebroten, ed Abortion: My Choice, God’s Grace (Pasadena, California: New Paradigm Books, 1994) 94 – 98

This terrible story shows what can happen when a Christian church does not uphold the sacredness of all human life. One out of every five women who has an abortion identifies as a born-again or evangelical Christian. Did they find (or would they have found) support in their churches?

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College students tell story about abortion

One young woman, a college student at Texas Christian University, tells the following story:

9 – 10 week unborn baby. Over 40% of all abortions happen after 9 weeks

“Several years ago, a 19-year-old mother found herself pregnant in Houston, Texas from a one night stand. She had a thriving acting and modeling career and was planning to move to LA to persue more in the performing arts as soon as she had enough money. Her parents were ex-pats in Indonesia, and she was living alone in the big city with no one to turn to. She had enough money to get an abortion, and she had the legal right to get an abortion since abortion had been legalized a few years before. Instead, she went to the Catholic Diocese of Houston and lived there in their crisis pregnancy unit, right next door to the hospital. She had chosen to have the baby and give it up for adoption, and she went through the process and was taken good care of until the time for birth came – which was early. Because she had bonded with the baby while carrying it in her womb, she refused to leave the premature infant alone until she knew that the baby would be okay. A few weeks later, the baby reached 5 pounds and was taken out of the incubator, off the ventilator, and was given to a new set of parents. The woman went on with her life and her career, never forgetting about the baby, and never regretting that she didn’t have an abortion and chose adoption instead. 26 years later, via the Internet, the woman and the child (now grown up) found each other, and she was reassured that she did the right thing. The baby grew up in a loving home, was given the best of everything, and had received an amazing education and an amazing family. She was showered with love and attention and never regretted for a moment that she was not aborted and was instead given up for adoption.… I am that baby, that “fetus.”

Deanna Darr “Aspects of the Pro-Life Movement” Charles K Bellinger, ed. The Abortion Debate: TCU Voices (Fort Worth, Texas: Churchyard Books, 2012) 10 – 11

There are so many people who are in this world today who were almost aborted. Like this college student, they are here because their mothers were brave enough to choose life. The world would be a much poorer place without them. How many college students, teachers, artists, physicians, writers, have been lost to abortion? How different would the world be if abortion had never been legalized?

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