Author: Tech

One abortion patient reported that:

“I was almost 5 months when I told my mother so I had to pay $1,000 to have a saline abortion and the doctor stuck this big needle in my stomach and joked and laughed the whole time like he was at a golf game with his country club buddies and he had no emotion or empathy for me….

It was awful and demeaning, then I was admitted into the hospital until I delivered the baby, the pain that I had with the delivery were terrible and when the baby came the insensitive nurse said It’s a girl! Like it was a normal delivery and it was a happy occasion but all I could do was cry, after that I was taken into another room where the doctor removed the after birth and checked me for missing body parts from the baby and there was so much blood I thought I was gonna die right there. Then they put the baby in a jar and left her in the bathroom on the edge of the shower for me to see.”

In a saline abortion, powerful chemicals are injected into the mothers uterus and kill the baby. Labor is then induced. Saline abortions are seldom done today because there were so many cases of babies being born alive. In one case, the doctor went to trial for strangling a baby girl born alive after an abortion of this type.

From Abortiontv.com and Life Dynamics

 

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Even pro-choice women have regrets about their abortions. On the website of “Who decides?” FWHC (Feminist Women’s Health Center- an abortion provider) Many Voices, Many Choices, a woman named Naomi gives her testimony about abortion.

She maintains that she is pro-choice, but she still regrets her abortion. In her own words:

“Too often women are expected to keep quiet or pretend about their feelings. I had an abortion and for a very long time was made to feel that my feelings were abnormal. I realize now, that my experience was very typical, that my reaction was absolutely normal. It is very rare to hear a woman honestly say, “It was my choice – what I really wanted.” Almost without exception, women say, “I had no choice – I didn’t really want to but I had to.”

Is this the best a pro-choice society can offer? I think it’s great that women are finally speaking up and exposing the enormous pressure put on them (by other people and circumstances) to abort against their wishes. I think it is also crucial for women to be warned that post abortion depression is not just a myth promoted by anti-abortionists.

I had been reassured that I would not have emotional problems after the abortion. I heard that the only opposition to abortion was religious; since I was an atheist, I should never have a problem with it. I heard that the posters that pro-lifers showed were not really truthful representations of the fetus – which was just an unformed blob of tissue; so they didn’t bother me. I had not yet read or heard a single story of a woman who regretted having an abortion; so I wasn’t worried. But all the reassurances of those who defend abortion could not protect me from reality; the clinic staff couldn’t follow me around the rest of my life carefully screening information so I wouldn’t learn anything upsetting. They weren’t there to warn me not to look at sonograms, not to check out certain books in the library. Eventually, I learned the truth about fetal development from neutral, reliable sources that I couldn’t write off as anti-abortion propaganda or religious fanaticism.

The Physical Problems are True: Also, I was having problems getting and remaining pregnant. Several sources not affiliated with the anti-abortion movement informed me that the abortion I had was probably the cause of these problems. When doctors, nurse-midwives and childbirth educators (who were NOT opposed to abortion) were telling me about the many documented ways that abortion could cause problems with future pregnancies, how could I continue to deny it? One pro-choice birthing clinic even told me that having had an abortion made me “high risk” and I would probably have to go to the hospital instead of being allowed to give birth in their birthing center. The three children I did eventually give birth to were all delivered by C-section. Even with lengthy labors and inductions, my cervix absolutely would not dilate at all! Again, several nurse-midwives, doctors, and childbirth educators informed me that sometimes the rapid, forced dilation of abortion during abortion (especially if you’ve never given birth – you’re aborting your first pregnancy – and it’s early in the pregnancy) can cause inflexible scar tissue to form on the cervix preventing normal dilation. Also, during my first C-section, the doctor observed considerable scarring on the insides of my uterus. I was told that it was probably from the abortion and was most likely the cause of my many miscarriages. (Four of my five miscarriages occurred very early in the pregnancy and were caused by implantation problems – conception had occurred but there were problems with the placenta being able to attach to the uterine wall.) In spite of years of hoping and planning for natural childbirth and a large family – my choices had been taken away: I could not have natural childbirth and will most likely not be able to have any more children.

Emotional Pain Finally Hit Me: Still, I was pro-choice and wanted (needed) so much to believe that I had been treated respectfully and honestly by the abortion clinic. I didn’t blame anyone yet, I wasn’t angry yet – just disappointed. When post abortion trauma hit me a full decade after the abortion I was not prepared and absolutely stunned at its force. I was devastated, depressed, suicidal, angry and ashamed for a full six months. I had nightmares, couldn’t cope with going out in public, and hated myself and everyone involved with the abortion. Anything I thought I could not have acquired or achieved if I had allowed my child to be born, I wanted to destroy: my marriage, my career, my home, my car; I even had to put my wedding pictures away for a while because I felt like tearing them all up.

Abortion Supporters laughed at me: Trustingly, I turned to pro-choice groups for help with my trauma. Even though I was still pro-choice and an atheist, I was laughed at and argued with. I was told that if I was having any regrets it was because I was not psychologically normal before the abortion! I was told it was just post-abortion hormones (the abortion had taken place ten years earlier!). In tears I called several pro-choice organizations and clinics, honestly seeking help. I was told that there was no such thing as post abortion regrets, I was called a liar, I was told there was no help available for me at all. The only “nice” response I got was a lady who said, “I’m sorry” and then hung up. The last abortion clinic receptionist I talked to got furious and accused me of being an anti-abortionist pretending to have post abortion depression and threatened to report me to the police for “harassing” the clinic! I was devastated. If I had a gun and did not have two small children to care for I know I would have ended it all right then. I didn’t know whom to turn to. I had not even told my husband yet what was upsetting me.

I got help: Luckily, I called a pro-life center and they referred me to post-abortion therapy (even though I told them I was pro-choice). I chose non-religious post-abortion therapy and eventually healed. But for a while my husband and some relatives were angry with me for admitting I never wanted the abortion. Cruelly, they subjected me to the very same comments and pressure which caused me to submit to the abortion in the first place (“reassuring” me that it was what I “had” to do) while insisting that it was all my idea and they never pressured me at all! I strongly urge women to speak up and be honest – no matter who it pisses off! No more pretending that it’s what we want or all our idea. It’s bad enough others (who supposedly “love” us) impose their wishes on us without us also being expected to act like it’s what we alone “chose.”

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“I’ll be 22 in May 2002 and I’ve had 2 abortions. I say this with tears, not with triumph….I wanted to have a baby. Although, being 21 and a junior in college, no health insurance, and still living at home, my choices were limited. The abortion: I won’t say that my boyfriend if you want to call him that, forced me, but he certainly did persuade me into it. He kept saying, “We’re too young”. This would also put a halt to his dreams of starting his own business before he was 30. I made plans, I drove to Indianapolis (2 hours away), and I signed the papers “no” that said: Did anyone force you to come here today? Thus, I blame myself for the pain I endure. ….[the day of the abortion] July 6 was the worst day of my life. Two weeks later I went to Planned Parenthood near my house for an ‘after abortion’ exam. The exam room looked like the one at the abortion clinic. Although, this one I’ve been in before for many check ups and exams. I had to lay on my back and spread my legs on the same silver foot petals. The nurse came in and began the exam. And you know when doctors begin to talk to you and ask you questions to comfort you? Well she started to talk while doing the exam and all I could do was cry. I cried loud and couldn’t control myself. The similar atmosphere struck my memories of that dreadful day…. Personally, I am Pro-Choice, but still wouldn’t have another abortion. And I can say this with respect because I’ve been through it twice.” From the pro-choice website FWHC (Feminist Women’s Health Center- an abortion provider) Many Voices, Many Choices

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“I’m from Colorado. I was 20, I was pregnant, I was scared, and I was looking for answers. And at first, I did not regret the day that I made that fateful decision to walk through the abortionist’s doorway. But I was a vulnerable victim to whom they professionally targeted and marketed their ghastly, deadly procedure.

I felt helpless as I was subjected to their heavy-handed, high-pressured sales pitch. No matter what soul-searching question I asked, terminating my pregnancy was always their consistent answer. I was given a package deal, and they convinced me that the abortion deal for the low, low cost of $300 cash was the answer to all my problems. I soon realized that they sold it as a package that was prettily wrapped with a great big bow on top, but it was a package that was full to the brim of lies, exploitation, and death.

They told me it was a blob of tissue. They lied. I grieved the baby I lost. They told me that this was the best thing for me. They lied. My abortion devastated me emotionally, physically and psychologically. They told me I would not regret my decision. They lied. I regret the loss of my baby every day of my life. I was never told I would suffer subsequent miscarriages. I had five. I was never told that an abortion might result in a subsequent unhealthy baby. I had a special needs son who died at the age of 7. I was never told that the trauma of my experience would live with me over and over and over and over, and that the regrets and the guilt would drain me day and night.

And I sought solace in denial. And my denial brought about rage. And my rage brought about severe relationship issues with my husband, with my children, with my family. Having an abortion ended the life of my unborn baby, and it ended the normal semblance of a life that I had previously known.

Having an abortion didn’t end my problems like they said it would. They lied. It was just the beginning of my problems.

And I want America to know this. That many women like me take years to understand and acknowledge their grief after an abortion. Like me, they go into denial, and different events can trigger the acknowledgment. The death of my 7-year-old son triggered mine. And living through that grieving experience made me realize that I had actually been grieving the loss of my baby 13 years prior. For 13 years I thought that emotional consequences were only for weak women, not for strong women like me.

For 13 years I thought that I had escaped the brutal ravages of abortion. For 13 years I remained silent in my shame. But I will remain silent no more. There are hurting women like I was who are walking wounded, and they are wounded from their guilt, they are wounded from their shame, they are wounded with despondency, and we need to realize that America gave us this fatal choice, and now she needs to hear our voice.

And the abortion industry will continue to lie, with the blood on their hands and the cash in their pockets, that terminating a pregnancy doesn’t have severe, life-long consequences. But, I will scream the truth from the rooftops if I have to, that abortion hurts women. Abortion brings torment. Abortion exploits women, and abortion victimizes women. Abortion stopped the beating heart of my baby, and it broke the heart of this mother. And I will boldly state the truth and be silent no more.”

Federal News Service Inc.
Justice Foundation Press Conference: 1-18-2005

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Authors James Bretzke and Monika Rodman told the following anecdote in “America”, November 6, 1999

Quoted in Paula Vandegaer “Postabortion Emotional Problems Harm Women” in Mary E Williams. Abortion: Opposing Viewpoints (San Diego, California: Greenhaven Press, 2002)

“When a group of young professional women gathered to discuss a recent work on women’s sexuality, each confessed her reasons for not having begun to read the agreed-upon work. Three of the four attributed their struggle to a particularly painful experience: they had had abortions.

All three women were Catholic by upbringing, if not according to their current spiritual practice, and all were college age at the time of their abortions. While they generally felt they had made the best decision they could at the time, the three expressed deep, unresolved pain over their abortions and said they struggled to find “forgiveness” for those decisions. Pro-choice rhetoric aside, they appear to have suffered in abortion a deep wound to their womanhood, a wound that also struck at the heart of their spiritual life.”

 

 

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A pro-life pastor shared the following stories in his sermon “Choose Life so you May Live”:

“As I entered the clinic doors, the nurse at the desk took my name and age. She said I was eight weeks pregnant and that it was just a mass of tissue not yet formed. As I lay on the table where the procedure was about to take place, I saw covered jar on the table close to my feet. Terror ran through me and I asked why this jar was covered up if this thing that they say is inside me is just a blob of white tissue? After seeing the jar I knew deep down inside something was not told to me. I felt betrayed and sick. It wasn’t until years later when I saw the fetal growth chart, then I realized why they covered the jar. The one thing I lacked was the visual knowledge of what was really happening after conception in my body. The biggest thing I had to get over was to forgive myself for what I had done. The memory will always be there.”

(page 53)

Larry L. Lewis “Proclaiming the Pro-Life Message: Christian Leaders Addressed the Abortion Issue” (Hannibal MO: Hannibal books) 1997

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I had an abortion because my family thought it was the best for me. I was a sophomore in high school with high hopes of going to medical school to become a plastic surgeon.

When the day came that my sister scheduled me for an abortion, I was brought to the private OB/GYN office by my mother. I remember vividly the feeling I had as I sat there, just 15 years old, next to my mother as the happy expectant couples that filled the office stared at me with curious eyes trying to figure out why I was there. My head hung low as I got up after my name being called. I was escorted to the procedure room and was asked to disrobe. It all happened so fast. Before I knew it, I was drifting into nothingness. All I remember is the sound of a vacuum filling the room.

Immediately after the abortion, I felt nothing. I felt empty. As time went on after the abortion, I felt and experienced deep thoughts of suicide, but my faith kept me from attempting.

I regretted not only the abortion, but the fact that having it done wasn’t even my decision. Not once was I asked what I wanted to do. It all happened so fast.

As time went on I started to live life again. I finished high school and began college. I was in a relationship with the man whom I went on to marry and it was then that the regret began to creep up again. When I began to think of having children with my husband, I was consumed with guilt. It haunted me. I would often break out in tears at any moment. My husband held my hand and helped me to deal with the pain.

After five years of holding in this secret, I went, alone, to confess. It was the most intense moment of my life to speak these words to a priest. “I had an abortion.” He gave my penance and I’ve began my healing.

From Priests for Life

 

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I got pregnant every time because I did not use birth control. I was stupid and naive. I had my abortions because I was selfish and did not think about my unborn babies. The thought of giving birth and all also scared me to death.

The sad part is that both my sister and I were adopted by my parents! So if either of our birth mothers would have aborted us, neither she nor I would be here. That fact was hard to deal with in making the decision to terminate my pregnancies. I also came from a well-to-do family that would have been devastated with the pregnancies.

During the procedures, I went in and out of sleep and I heard a vacuum cleaner/suctioning sound. It didn’t last long and then I was free to leave. Afterward, I must admit, I felt enormous relief that I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I basically went about, after that, like nothing had happened. I guess I used abortion as a means of birth control—as absolutely disgusting as it sounds.

I have come to terms with what I have done to the best of my ability. I do not feel the need even now to talk to anyone in depth about my experiences.

About four years ago, I came back to my Catholic faith (not because of the abortions). Through the unbelievable faith and love I had found through the Lord, my husband saw my transformation and felt guided to my faith. He decided to go through the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation) program to become a Catholic. I had not been to formal confession with a priest in 23 years. I had a lot of sin to confess. My worst sin was my past abortions. But through the grace of God, I was immediately forgiven.

But the harder part was actually forgiving myself. That took awhile. But I knew that if God could forgive me then I could forgive myself. My husband and I are currently trying to have a baby. I must say that after I do conceive, go through the months of pregnancy with my changing body, and then deliver my baby, I don’t know how I’m going to feel about my past abortions. I have a feeling that is when I may need some serious therapy. But right now I’m fine. But for all I know, I’ve probably been in denial for all these years!

I’m very grateful to have this website for information and references. God bless to you all.

From Priests for Life

Note; Religious beliefs expressed in testimonies are not necessarily endorsed by site owner

 

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I had an abortion when I was 17. At the time I just though of the child as something that wasn’t alive yet but still a part of my body, some sort of appendage. I went to the clinic with that idea in my head and laid down on the table to have my baby taken out of me, no big deal.

They use a drug they call “Twilight” to render you immobilized during the procedure. You’re still completely conscious through all of it, you just can’t move any part of your body or speak. So they stick the needle in my arm with the drug in it and right as it kicks in they give me an ultrasound. My face was pointing toward the monitor that show a picture of a visible living baby. He was moving and I could see his head and arms and legs, everything. Once I realized the baby was alive I opened my mouth to tell the doctor to stop what he was doing. That’s when the Twilight kicked in and there was nothing I could do but silently stare at a picture of my baby who was being hacked up and killed inside of me, and it was my fault. The only thing I managed to do throughout the procedure was cry.

The nurse called my mother to pick me up because as soon as the Twilight kicked in I started crying and didn’t stop for a week. It changed my life forever and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about that day and regret what I did. Every time something bad happens to me regardless of whether or not I had any control over it I call it Karma and blame myself. I went job corps for a while and while I was there I was talking about my experience once with my roommates and found out they all had abortions also. Every one of them hated themselves for doing it and think about what a bad person they are every day to this day.

I’m 24 now and I’m pregnant. Because I’m not married to the father (although we are together) my family has asked me to abort this child. I don’t understand how someone could have the audacity to tell you to kill your own child. I’m agnostic so this has nothing to do with being pro-life, because I’m not, I’m pro-choice. Abortion is a question of morality and it’s not my place to judge someone else’s morals. However, I wish more girls would talk to people who have had abortions. Maybe that should be a requirement if you want to get one. These girls need to be prepared for all of the psychological pain they will go through for the rest of their lives.

 

 

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I had an abortion when I was 21. I regret it everyday. If I would have told my parents. I am sure they would have told me to have it. My friend had one and told me I should too. I went alone and told nobody. The bad part was when I almost died from too much gas.

That would have been so sad to hear your daughter died on some table. I think about that child and what would have happened if I would have been brave and told my parents. My friend will never have children because of her abortion. People get selfish and use abortion as birth control instead of living with their mistakes. A child should never have to pay for their parents’ mistakes but they do everyday.

 

 

 

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