A woman wrote about her abortion. She originally wanted to keep the baby:
If he decided to want to keep the baby…I would TOTALLY keep it….
When we agreed yes to keeping it one afternoon, we talked about naming the baby, what the baby would look like…complexion, eyes, nose, hair..and then the rest of the day would go by…and nothing would be talked about..then he woke me up that night to tell me that he doesn’t want to keep it…because he’s not ready to settle down….
Later that afternoon as I was taking him to work we argued at the fact that I said I’m keeping the baby…and he was giving me the guilt trips…after a few mins…he agreed to keeping the baby again…and then…the next morning..after he dropped me off at work..he went to an abortion clinic…talked to a counselor…and then came back to me with paperwork that its okay to have an abortion….
I mentioned to him…that if he and I were to break up…I would keep the baby…I don’t know why I said that….
After the abortion:
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Since then, I’ve cried for hours upon hours…every day. I don’t cry when my bf’s around but he doesn’t make me feel any better about the relationship. We made a commitment and I followed through with mine. His answers now are slightly changing. He was sooo adamant about “yes I’ll keep my words…my promises” prior to the abortion and then 3 days later..his words are changing about what his commitment was.
I hate myself for killing my own. I try to hide it, to keep my spirits up but really it doesn’t help. I realize I don’t like to keep my spirits up just because I feel like then I’d be avoiding the truth and feeling like a heartless cold person.”