| I had an abortion because my husband and I were going through difficult times, living separately, and I was raped by a man that I went to lunch with. My husband said that he wanted to make amends with me, but would not raise another man’s child.
Reluctantly, I went to the abortion clinic – paid $600- and endured the procedure. The sound of the machine was horrific. It is a large “vacuum” that sucks the life from your body. I bawled the entire time. It didn’t matter to me that the child was the product of a rape – it was MY child- a gift from God. My husband did not share my faith background. He didn’t believe in God. I believe that when you give birth, or are pregnant, you give a part of yourself to that child. A part of me died that day as a result of what I did. I saw a flash of my son’s face when I closed my eyes during the procedure. God revealed it to me. The child would have been a boy, with deep blue eyes and sandy brown hair. I know his face well. I see it almost nightly in my dreams. After the procedure, I felt horrible. My entire body felt like it was dying. It’s a shock to your system to go through something like an abortion, because your system has prepared to be pregnant and, in a moment, you’re telling it not to be. It’s not the same as a miscarriage, which your body can prepare for. I collapsed on the floor of my apartment and was found by my mother-in-law, bleeding and in need of medical attention. She drove me to the hospital. Apparently, a piece of the sac was left in my uterus and caused bleeding and a tear in the uterine wall. It was very serious. I recovered, but still feel the pain of what I did every day. |
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They said it.