wish that i had found this site before i went through with it, it has shown me what really goes on.
I had an abortion on the 24th may 2004, it was the worst mistake ive ever made! I am 16 years old, and was preparing to do my GCSE’s. I’d just split from my boyfriend of 2 years, we’d needed a break from each other. When we got back together at the beginning of may, i found out i was pregnant.
I had always said to myself that if i had an ‘accident’ and fell pregnant then i would keep the baby, but when it happens to you your mind doesn’t always think the way you want it to.
i found out for sure that i was pregnant at a clinic, my boyfriend was there and i didn’t know what to do, i needed time to think. I told my mum and dad, they were supportive, but would prefer the abortion as i am so young and was about to do my exams. i was petrified, everyone including my boyfriend wanted me to have the abortion, they weren’t forcing me, but felt like i had to as it was what everybody else wanted. I booked the appointment, i went with my boyfriend, he was so supportive, he just wanted me to be ok. I had to wait on my own though, there were other girls there, with their mum’s, friends and sisters, but my boyfriend wasn’t allowed in, i hated sitting on my own, all i could think about was how i was going to feel afterwards.
I went into a room where they did a scan, i was having the ‘medical abortion’ as they thought i was less than 8 weeks (which is the cut off point, you have to be less than 8wks to have it). i had the scan, the woman said i was at least 9 weeks pregnant, as the foetus was big, i looked at the picture that was printed off of my baby, after that everything is a blur. I think my mind just went into like a robot mode, i didn’t talk i just did what they told me. i took a tablet, then i went home. I was sick, the tablet made me ill.
I went back 2 days later and they inserted pesseries to bring on contractions. This was the most painful experience i’ve had, i aksed for pain relif, which i couldn’t take as i kept being sick. My boyfriend was allowed in at this point, he was so worried for me. After 2 hours of lying still all i could do was wait. I could barely walk to the toilet i was in that much pain. It took around 6 hours for my miscarriage to be ‘completed’. I saw my baby, which really shook me, at that point i just broke down, i’d realised what i had done, i just wasnted to put the baby back inside me where it belonged(sounds wierd, i know). I went home and stayed it bed for days, i have cried about it every night since then, that was 7 months ago. I just can’t believe that i went through with it. It is such a traumatic experience, and i regret it, i regret it every minute of the day. In less than a month it will be my baby’s due date, i am dreading it, but it’s my own fault! I wish i could turn back time, like many others, but i made a choice.
Think about the choices you make!!!!!
EM
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