Category: Women’s Stories

John Ankerburg show
April 1, 1990.

Two women who had abortions told their stories:

“If the doctor would’ve told me that I was four months pregnant, I don’t think that I would’ve had an abortion. I would’ve considered it murder at that point – the baby’s heart was beating, the baby is developed really, and I would have never had an abortion. The doctor did not tell me anything about the D&E being dangerous. The doctor didn’t discuss anything to me about any risks. I wasn’t told one word. Nothing about, you know my uterus being burst through, and all these things happened… now, to my knowledge, I find out that they do have another baby, that it could probably kill me. I would never have had an abortion if I knew these horrible things could happen to me, cause that’s the only way to explain it. It’s not worth going through.”

Another testimony on the same show:

“When I was examined the doctor said that he had been mistaken, the baby was far more advanced than he had thought, and that it was 15 weeks, and I was really just in shock. Within a minute, I was aborted, waited a few minutes, and then I got up to get dressed. And when I went over to the dressing room, I saw bucket of blood. And, my baby was in the bucket of blood, and the baby was not an inch big, the baby was as big as my hand, and it was a real baby. All I could think of was that I had murdered my baby… I started deteriorating emotionally that night. Over the next month, I cried, not normal cries, I cried from the bellows of the earth. I remember just leaning at the top of my staircase, just wishing I could throw myself down to the bottom. I remember thinking of jumping on the roof and jumping off. I thought of every method of suicide, I tried to consider doing. And I cried so deeply, so constantly, and so deeply, it was like the wail of a newborn baby when they cry and their fists are clenched, and they just cannot control the crying and somehow I thought I must. It was the most extraordinary crying I could ever see myself doing.”

Share on Facebook

From a mother’s letter to her aborted child:

“It’s been a decade and still my blood runs cold and I catch my breath whenever I hear the word ” abortion.” Space there is an emptiness inside of me that can never be filled, a chill that has never quite been warned, a grief that will never end. To me you will forever remain an unfinished song, a flower that never bloomed, a sunrise clouded by rain.

Even during your last fragile moments of life, I wondered, “is my baby a boy or a girl?” The question ran through my mind again and again as I tried to block out the sickening sound of you being suctioned from my womb and from my life. I seemed to have a burning need to know whether I would’ve had a son or daughter, yet somehow I couldn’t bear to ask such an indelicate question of the doctor who stood smiling about me. Instead, I simply nodded in defeat and sadness, as this man in white patted my trembling hand and said, “now — aren’t you glad it’s all over?”

As I lay there drowning in my own blood, tears, and sweat, I could hear the nurses chattering about coworkers, new cars and clothes.

To these people, the extermination of your life is simply a job …. To those gathered in the sunny room in Philadelphia 10 years ago, it was just another day. To me, it was the darkest day I had ever known.”

Share on Facebook

It was difficult when I began to become depressed. The abortion issue began to surface in my mind, the acknowledgment of it. It has been repressed for a very long time. My husband never knew I had an abortion. It was not something I had ever told anyone. It was just part of my past. There came a point in time when I finally had to tell him because I had become a nonfunctional human being. I was doing nothing except sitting in a chair, starting at a wall all day long, thinking how I could kill myself.”

Anonymous, from D. James Kennedy, “Abortion: Reflections on Life (Ft Lauderdale, FL: Coral Ridge Ministries, 1989) p 13

Share on Facebook

“Abortion was the obvious solution. It would get me back to normal, keep me in control, spare me unnecessary pain. But after my abortion, reality parted company with rhetoric. The choice that was supposed to spare me the heartache of parting with my own flesh and blood tormented me with an overwhelming sense of loss from which there was no escape.

I was haunted by nightmares and flashbacks that were so vivid, so distressing, so out of control that I felt like I was falling apart. At times, I thought suicide might bring welcome relief.

I sought help from counselors and psychologists who denied that my abortion could bring me grief. Now what about my relationship with my father? My mother? No, I must have got it wrong. Abortion was a solution, not a problem….My life continued to unravel. I was referred to a psychiatrist, who gave me pills but no answers.

Life went on. I established a career in scientific/medical research (recombinant DNA technology) but I was never the same again, What I gained as a consequence was always tarnished by the cost…

When I realized that other women experienced grief after abortion, I was outraged. Why were women allowed- often encouraged- to proceed without regard for alternatives, or consequences? Why are they uninformed, sometimes lied to, when they were supposed to be making their own choices?…I have learned about and corresponded with grieving post-abortive women from throughout the country. None were prepared for the aftermath.”

Phillippa A. Peck “The Grief of Abortion” The Press (Christchurch, NZ) June 13, 2000

Share on Facebook

The following are from “What you should know before you choose abortion as your option” by Diane Monahan and Karen Sullivan-Ables, Heritage House:

******

“When I returned home I had very heavy bleeding and severe cramps for two days. I was so afraid that something was wrong that I called Planned Parenthood who referred me for my abortion. They said I was okay without suggesting an exam. At my after-school job at a dime store, I went into the restroom. It was then I found my baby on my sanitary pad. He had arms and legs with tiny hands and feet. I could make out his little nose and a dark spot that I now know was his eye. Even after ten years, it’s still hard for me to think about.”

Kathy Bartlett, Waco, Texas

******

“The next five days were a living hell for me as I contracted a gross infection called peritonitis. My fever soared rapidly and I remained in guarded condition for four days. One of the nurses said “It’s going to take more than prayer to pull this one out of it.” At that moment I knew I was on the verge of death…The reason the infection had set in was due to the fact that the abortionist did not abort my entire baby the first time around, making it necessary to repeat the procedure.”

Cindy Ortegus, Phoenix, Arizona

******

“Planned Parenthood suggested only an abortion. No other options were ever discussed. They never said the word “baby”- only “fetus.” You can’t imagine my shock and horror when I saw my dismembered baby after my abortion. They deceived me. I’ve suffered severe emotional problems.”

Karen Sullivan-Ables, Taylor, Arizona

Share on Facebook

I came across your website because I wanted to know what went on while I was unconscious during my abortion. I was appalled to find out the things that I did and to see the pictures that I saw. the doctor who did my abortion told me that my baby was just a piece of tissue at 8 weeks old and I believed him. I was 15 years old, I thought that I was making the right decision. I was wrong and now I feel so bad. Patients should be told of what the doctors are doing. If I had know that they were going to rip my precious baby into a bunch of different part I would never have done what I did. If someone had told me or if I had seen this website earlier I would not have had an abortion. My boyfriend that I was with then and am still with now told me that he helped the doctor, he handed the doctor the tools that he used. He told me that the doctor asked him to help because there was no nurse or whatever to assist him. My boyfriend was worried about me and he helped the doctor because he didn’t want anything to go wrong. My boyfriend and I never talked about what happened that day, behind those closed doors at the clinic. We never talked about how much it hurt us until we found this site. Thank you so much for making this web site I think that everyone should visit here and get the real facts. I found out I was pregnant 6 months ago and now I am 6 and a half months pregnant and my child will have the right to live and not to be slaughtered. Again I want to thank you for this site and I want others to know what the doctors really do because they don’t tell you, they put you under a general anesthetic and they brutally kill your unborn child. It should be illegal and I hope someday that it will be.

Thank you. Kristin

Share on Facebook

I viewed your web pages yesterday and I felt like I just had to say something. You have done a great job of providing the truth about abortion and not the sugar coated version that an abortion clinic will give a woman.1 year ago today I had an abortion and I just wish that I could have seen this website before hand because it would have kept me from MURDERING my unborn child. When I went to that abortion clinic I was completely lied to and convinced that I was doing the right thing. Until Yesterday I had blocked the whole thing from my mind. I never thought about it, I never cried. Last night I spent the whole night crying for the child that I has so carelessly tossed away. I only hope that I can be forgiven. Its sad that these clinics are not required to give you this information whenever you go in for an abortion because if they did I think that any decent person would turn around and leave. I wonder if all the pro-choice people even realize exactly what they are supporting? I would imagine that they are like I was and that they have no idea. You are doing a wonderful thing with this website. It is so direct and to the point and I think that is what it takes for people to realize the horror of abortion. Unfortunately I am afraid that most people like me will not see this website until they have already made the biggest mistake of there lives. At least though it may stop someone from doing it again and may help them to stop someone else from doing it. I know that my eyes are now wide open to the abortion issue. One last thing before I end this-how would I go about joining a pro-life group? I would like to be a part of something so that I could in some small way make an amend for what I have done only I don’t know where to start.

Thank you so much!!!
Cherie

Share on Facebook

Hello,
I am a 18 year old mom who at first chose abortion for my unplanned pregnancy. I was 27 weeks in to my pregnancy and chose the Dilation and Extraction method (seaweed method and partial birth abortion). The doctor gave me a prostaglandin and the seaweed injection in to my stomach. He told me that it would take approximately three days for me to go in to labor. I thought about it that night and I wanted my baby. I didn’t know how I could stop the abortion since the seaweed was already injected in to me. So my mother rushed me to the emergency room. They delivered my baby girl by cesarean section. The baby wasn’t dead but too small to live outside of the uterus. She died two hours later. To this day I regret choosing the abortion because my baby was a human being. She even let out a cry when she was delivered. If I had waited any longer, the Laminaria (the seaweed) would have taken effect and they would have delivered my baby, and cut the back of her skull and suck her brains out. I’m kinda glad that I chose to go to the emergency room and get her delivered. The seaweed hadn’t really expanded enough to dilate my cervix so she could have lived if she was a couple of weeks older. My baby would be 18 months old now if she was alive. She has a grave and a tombstone like a human being and aborted babies should have. Thank you so much for spreading the word and the truth about abortions!

Anonymous

Share on Facebook

7/28/00

Hi, I’m a 22 year-old nurse. I had a D&C abortion in August of ’99. I was 8 weeks along and in the middle of nursing school. I found the most idiotic and selfish reasons to abort my baby. I made my appointment at the abortion clinic. I was told that my baby was just a piece of non-living tissue, and that it could not feel pain. I was a nursing student and I knew better than what they told me there. However, I denied what I knew and chose to believe the doctor. I put on the paper gown, laid on a cold table, and allowed a stranger to suck my baby out of me. I wish that I would’ve visited this site before my abortion. The abortion pictures are so strong a message. I regret what I did, and now I have to live with the pain and torment that go along with it. I will forever remember the abortion and the little innocent baby that I killed. I have since given my life to God and found love, mercy, and peace in His love. I now volunteer my time at a local crisis pregnancy center in my area. I hope that my story will help to change the minds of young teens and women about having an abortion. It is not an easy thing to deal with! You may think that an abortion will be the end of it all, but I can tell all women that it is only the beginning. If there are any women who read this and would like to talk, please feel free to email me.

lurena

Share on Facebook

To my Dear Children,

Through my own selfishness and unwillingness to stand up for you when you were too young to speak out, I paid to have you executed. You committed no crime– you were simply inconvenient and my pregnancy would have been embarrassing. You never had the chance to be held and feel loved. Instead you were violently torn apart and discarded. I am deeply regretful and sorry I did this to you. If abortion was illegal at the time, I would never have considered it to be my “choice”. Because it was legal, I thought it was an acceptable “option”. I was so very wrong. Please forgive me. I was dead wrong. I pledge to you my wonderful Children that I will work unceasingly to give others the information I never received. Abortion providers lie and don’t tell the whole truth. This is an industry involving billions of $dollars$. It is an industry that exploits women and destroys children and families. As long as I have the breath of life, I will continue to help save others from my fate.

I long to hold you in my arms and I’ll love you forever,

Share on Facebook