Category: Women’s Stories

One woman tells her abortion story:

She became pregnant in 1996.

“…. My husband had no moral concerns about abortion, and we went to the appointment together. I cried a lot, but every time I mentioned a baby, I was told by my husband, and counselor, that the reality was, there was no baby. I was told the children I had were more important.

When I saw the Drs who signed my forms they asked me if I was sure. I said no, but they said well as sure as you can be.
I did have an abortion. I was given a leaflet that said that most women are relieved afterwards, but you can expect a bit of depression.

I am now in counselling, having suppressed the memory of the clinic. It now comes back to me as a trauma I can barely survive.”

http://www.abortionconcern.org/stories/story067.php

According to Planned Parenthood:

“Despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary, anti-choice organizations continue to spread the false idea that it is common for abortion to have severe, emotionally negative effects. The fact is that anti-abortion groups have invented this so-called post-abortion syndrome to further their efforts to make abortion illegal and unsafe.”

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/ask-dr-cullins/cullins-ab-5508.htm

Read more women stories here.

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Abortion is a traumatic experience for many women, and this trauma is very real whether abortion is legal or illegal. Look at these two stories from the 1870s. They echo the same cries of pain from aborted women today.

“I go to church in despair, and I hear the minister proclaim free pardon to all sinners through the blood of Christ. Does he know what he is saying? Would he offer me the same comfort if he knew the extent of my guilt; if he knew that I had sinned, presuming upon that very grace which he declared is able to save the uttermost? And yet, if there be any truth in the doctrine, it ought to apply to all kinds of degrees of wickedness. But what avails God’s forgiveness if I cannot forgive myself? And what is salvation? Can God heal my self-inflicted wound, and save me from the inevitable result of my evil conduct? Nothing but a child can satisfy the earnings of maternal love; and I know of no joys of heaven that could make me happy there, unless this craving of my nature be first supplied or the instinct annihilated. Somebody else may have my mind and heart – I want my baby!”

And from another woman:

“I envy a mother who goes to weep beside her baby’s grave; because she knows where it is is laid, and remembers how it looked in life, and is not ashamed to say, “I have lost a child.” And when I hear mothers lamenting over such a loss, I pity them indeed; but I feel like saying to them, “you think you’re deeply afflicted, but your trouble is really light, because it is not mingled with remorse, and you are not to blame for the infant’s death.” Truly all sorrow that I have ever known or heard of is not to be compared with my sorrow, and that of others who have sinned in like manner!”

Elizabeth Edson Evans “the Abuse of Maternity, through Its Rejection” Philadelphia: J.P. Lippincott, 1875, Quoted in Rachel McNair, Mary Krane Derr, and Linda Naranjo-Hubbl. Pro-Life Feminism: Yesterday and Today (New York: Sulzburger & Graham Publishing, Ltd.) 75-76

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One woman said the following after her abortion:

“I developed anorexia shortly after my abortion, but I never connected the two. I disowned my body. I became an 80 pound skeleton. A totally nonsexual, non-woman.”

De Puy, C and D Dovitch. The Healing Choice: Your Guide to Emotional Recovery after an Abortion (New York: Fireside, 1997; P 58

Another woman, who considers herself pro-choice, said:

“The inner torment is so unbearable that the only peaceful state I can imagine his death.” Says of the exercise that she is doing. “… Perhaps I can die if I keep going in this heat… I cannot drive my physical body to death. I’m a Frankenstein who has transformed myself into a monster that will not die.”

Nathanson S. Soul Crisis: One Woman’s Journey Through Abortion to Renewal, (New York: New American Library, 1989) page 148, 150

Both previous quotes cited in

Elizabeth Ring-Cassidy and Ian Gentles. Women’s Health after Abortion: The Medical and Psychological Evidence Second Edition (Toronto, Canada: The deVeber Institute for Bioethics and Social Research, 2003)

Yet pro-choicers say:

“The concept of “post-abortion syndrome” as a traumatic response to abortion is a myth, developed by those who seek to discourage women from choosing abortion as an option when faced with an unwanted pregnancy.”

“Countering Misinformation: the myth of “postabortion syndrome” ANSIRH: Advancing New Standards and Reproductive Health Care, UCSF

Read more stories of women who struggled after their abortions here

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Dr. Susan Poppema, an abortionist, discounts post abortion trauma as an “antichoice” myth. However, in her book, she says:

“Sorrow, quite apart from the sense of shame, is exhibited in some way by virtually every woman for whom I performed an abortion, and that’s 20,000 as of 1995. The sorrow is revealed by the fact that most women cry at some point during the experience… The grieving process may last from several days to several years… Grief is sometimes delayed… The grief may lie sublimated and dormant for years.”

Suzanne Poppema with Mike Henderson, Why I Am an Abortion Doctor (New York: Prometheus Books, 1996) 125 – 126

Quoted in Rachel M MacNair, PhD. Achieving Peace in the Abortion War (New York: iUniverse, 2009)

 

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An abortion counselor at a clinic said the following:

some women suffer after their abortions”but they’re usually not the ones that you hear about [at abortion clinics] because for some it appears so much later because they repressed it for so long.”

James D Slack Abortion, Execution, and the Consequences of Taking Life (New Brunswick: Transaction Publishers, 2009) page 61

 

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One woman’s boyfriend pressured her into having an abortion. He drove her to the clinic and

“I told them that I did not want to have an abortion. I had changed my mind. They stuck a needle in my arm immediately to knock me out… I screamed and cried, that’s all I can remember… The other women that were in there, they were staring at me. I told them again, I’m not gonna do this. The women looked very scared when I left. I guess they heard me screaming.”

James D Slack Abortion, Execution, and the Consequences of Taking Life (New Brunswick: Transaction Publishers, 2009) 67

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A woman named Annette who had an abortion says the following:

“Sometimes it’s prejudice behind it. My mom says, “I’m personally opposed, but it’s great for “some people.” My dad grumbles about “babies that got no business being born.” They both think my abortion was a good thing – that abortion liberates you, since you free to continue your life. “Having a baby could ruin your life.” But you know what? Not having my baby has ruined my life.”

Frederica Mathews-Green. Real Choices: Offering Practical, Life-Affirming Alternatives to Abortion (Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Books, 1994) page 67

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Marie tells her story:

I was 21 when I had my abortion. My husband was going to school and I was home with the two kids; I got pregnant again when Rachel was not yet one-year-old. When I told Vince he got really upset – he has a pretty controlling personality. He said that only ignorant people have more than two kids. It was the population control idea: two in, two out.

I was seeing a Christian therapist for depression, and she told me that I couldn’t go through the pregnancy because of my condition. When I said I didn’t think abortion was right, she said that was only because of my Catholic upbringing. She told me to listen to my husband.

So at last I went to the doctor. When he asked me what I wanted to do, I said my husband wanted an abortion, but the baby… And he interrupted me saying, “What have you been reading? It’s a fetus.” So I scheduled the abortion. I had about a week of waiting, hoping that Vince would turn around and say, “No, I want this baby!”

It never took place. He never rushed in and saved me. All the prayers I said – it never happened. It never happened.

I remember him trying to cheer me up on the way to the abortion. He stopped at an art festival. I can remember picking up this face that was fired with coal; it had black splotches all over it. I bought that thing. Vince said, “Why did you buy that?” I said, “This is my soul.” I felt just terrible.

Finally, on that last stretch of road before the clinic, he turned to me and said, “Do you think you’re smarter than the Supreme Court?” That just killed any last maternal instinct that was in me. I thought, how could I be smarter than the Supreme Court?

I went through it. One of the things that amazed me was that, when I got there, they would not let Vince come any further than the front door. I think if he had, it might have made a difference. It was easy for him to push and run, when it came to doing it, I was by myself.

The nurse at the clinic said, “You can have another baby when you’re ready.” It was the only time that anyone but me used the word “baby.” I have a suction abortion, and I can still remember the expression on the nurse’s face as she watched.”

Frederica Mathews-Green. Real Choices: Offering Practical, Life-Affirming Alternatives to Abortion (Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Books, 1994) 146 to 147

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