Category: Women’s Stories

A Christian man got his girlfriend pregnant and urged her to have an abortion. He said that he would marry her and let her have the baby only if she would convert to Christianity for him. However, she was hesitant, not wanting to embrace a religion for the wrong reasons. Therefore, he continued to pressure her to have an abortion. He was afraid, he said, what his church would think. And even though he was fine having sex with her, he would not marry a woman who was not a Christian. The woman said:

After he left, I had a dream last night. In my dream, we (I and my BF) were preparing to go to the clinic. All of a sudden, I heard a noise from my bedroom. Somehow, I had given birth, our baby was there. He had such beautiful, blue eyes. I told my BF:”Look, we can’t go to to abortion. I already gave a birth.” Everything was so real.

This dream really hit me when I woke up. I felt like that I wanted to keep my baby, but on the other hand the clock was ticking, and we had an appointment to go. I called my best friend in TX and told her my dream. I was crying my eyes out. Literally…

Then, my BF came to take me. On the way, we kept talking about it. All he was concerned about what his people in his church would think about him, his image…I know that he also felt bad too. When we went there, I was still trying to convince him that I want to keep the baby, but I wouldn’t want to be a single mother and was asking for his help. At this point he said that “Nina, don’t think it’s be so difficult to convert.” I just told him he didn’t know what he was talking about, this is not even his territory that he was trying to enter. I told him that “I am not saying that I am not going to convert, but I just don’t know when and how. I need time. I can’t commit because I simply don’t know. I don’t wanna tell you sweet lies just to get what I want. I am already under pressure with this issue, why to put more pressure on me?” At some point, he told me “you don’t wanna do this. I don’t wanna do this. We don’t belong to this place.” I said “no we don’t. I wanna keep the baby. However, I am an honorable woman who deserves marriage, and I don’t want a mistress life.” He said “Nina, I can’t promise you either. I can’t marry you unless you convert.” Then, they called my name. We just looked at each others’ face in fear and doubt. I had to go, and I did. He could have stopped me, but he didn’t. I went to upstairs, changed my clothes. When I went to restroom, I looked at the mirror in doubt. What am I doing here?” I even thought to dress up and go back and leave the place, but it was just too late.

Sadly, she had an abortion.

“But it was just too late” Thursday, August 04, 2005 JivinJehohsaphat

Feminists for Life published Susan A Walders’ story of her abortion and its aftermath. Her story is tragically similar to so many other abortion stories, but one thing that stands out is that she was initially happy with her abortion and felt that it was the right choice. Later on, the regrets would come.

“I am one of those people who didn’t think abortion through in advance. Perhaps by sharing the story of the worst decision I have ever made, I can help other women to make that choice less frequently.…

[She became pregnant her sophomore year of college, and immediately decided on abortion]

I was irritated to find out I needed to schedule a preliminary appointment for counseling before I could arrange what they called the “procedure.” The “counselor,” and I use the term loosely, asked me if I was sure that I wanted an abortion and I said yes.

That was it. No information on pregnancy and birth, no list of possible choices, no discussion about motherhood. They took some blood, weighed me and got a brief medical history…

It rained the day of the “procedure.” It was surprisingly simple and relatively painless. Afterwards I felt immediately 100% better. The nausea ceased. There was strong cramping, but I could handle that.

If someone had asked me right then how I felt about what I had just done I would’ve said, “Wow, this is great! I have my health back, I have my life back!”

Go ahead, ask me now.

I am, at this moment, crying.

How callous I was. Just a kid, really. Self-centered and shallow. There were, and are now, so many other alternatives.…

To any woman who finds herself in the position I was in, please, talk to everyone who is important to you. Talk openly, honestly and consider other viewpoints besides your own.…

To abortion providers, I say give better information and counseling to young women. I can’t say for sure, but I might not have made the mistake I did if I had known that morning sickness goes away and there might have been someone who wanted my child.”

Susan A Walders “Mourning Life Lost to Hasty Decision “ The American Feminist vol. 5 # 1 spring 1998

Actress Jennifer O’Neill:

“… I was told a lie from the pits of hell. I had the abortion and paid for it all my life until I healed and am now able to help other women. By age 38 I had mourned 9 miscarriages – certain that they were the result of my agonizing abortion.”

Quoted from a Letter from Joseph Scheidler, director of the Pro-Life Action League,  February 21, 2003 Intecon Abortion: Pros and Cons (Bloomington, IN  AuthorHouse, 2004) 396

For information on studies that show a connection between abortion and miscarriage, and other reproductive health problems, go here.

The murder of Doctor George Tiller was condemned by every mainstream pro-life organization. Pro-choicers have painted him as a kindly martyr, dedicated only to helping women. However, there are a number of women who have spoken out after having abortions at his clinic. Here is the story of one, Patient K:

“When I was 14 I found out I was 20 weeks pregnant. I was persuaded by my doctor, church leaders and family to abort the baby. However, in the state of Maryland [late] abortion was not an option. My parents found Dr. George Tiller’s Clinic in Wichita, Kansas by searching on the internet and I was flown there within days of finding out I was pregnant.

I was so scared, ashamed and confused. I knew what I was doing was wrong….

The first day involved signing a lot of papers. I did not understand any of what I was reading before I signed my child’s life away. No one explained anything to me. I had no idea what exactly I was getting myself into, the pain, the risks, the after effects. The clinic was dark and quiet. I wanted the whole experience to be over and to go back home, but every step I took made it harder and harder to turn back.

I participated in group “therapy” with other women who were there for the five day procedure as well. I was the youngest and from the looks of the other woman the least far along in my pregnancy. From talking with the other woman I learned more of their stories. I remember being so disgusted because there were woman there who had no “good” reason to be. Married, financially stable, healthy women who just did not feel like they were ready. I couldn’t see why they waited so long to decide that! But I was there too so who was I to judge?”

[She describes having laminaria inserted and being sent back to her hotel room. Then she recalls:]

On the final day we got to the clinic early. There were 6-10 other woman and we were all in the same large room in our own hospital bed. I could hear the others moaning and I knew how they felt. We were all in labor. I was so cold. I was shaking so violently that a nurse came by and placed many blankets on me so the shivering would stop. It didn’t. No one sat beside my bed or asked how I was. A nurse would come by every once in a while and say, “Let see where we are now,” as she shoved her hand under my blankets and felt my cervix. I laid there for what seemed like days. Finally, she called to another nurse and said, “This one’s ready.”

They put me into a wheelchair and awkwardly wheeled me and my IV into a small room. There was a toilet there and I was told to sit on it. I was confused when they told me to push. I was in so much pain and fogginess from the IV that I did as they said. I wanted it to be over. I didn’t have much strength so the nurse said to lean on her and that would make pushing easier. I pushed. My baby was left in that toilet.

After this I was wheeled into another examining room and I was placed on a big metal table. There was a large light beating down on me. As the nurse waited with me for the doctor she rubbed my stomach and said, “Look how skinny you are now!” I cried…”

“In Their Own Words: Women’s Stories Of Coerced, Botched, and Illegal Abortions At Tiller’s Women’s Health Care Services in Wichita, KS” Operation Rescue

Marie tells her story:

To anyone who is pregnant, young or older and not sure what to do, I urge you and beg you to read my true story. Maybe you’re not pregnant and just reading this. Feel free to pass this on either way. When I was 20 years old, I became pregnant and like many, I was scared and not sure what to do. I listened to family members who told me that I had my whole life ahead of me and that having the baby would “ruin” my life. One family member even told me that I would get big and fat, that nobody (including my boyfriend), would want to be with me and would go elsewhere.

I had an ultrasound at only 5 weeks along and could clearly see the heart beat on the ultrasound screen, as small as it was. I was touched by this and so was my mom (grandma), witnessed it as well. However, as time went on, my anxiety, uncertainty, and indecisiveness grew. When I was close to 10 weeks along, I saw another ob/gyn whom a relative recommended who performed abortions on a regular basis. She let me hear the baby’s heartbeat loud and clear, telling me that the heart beat sounded healthy for unborn babies of this age in the womb. I still could not believe in it and was very overwhelmed. She told me that the time was very close to where I needed to decide whether or not to have an abortion since I was getting close to the end of the 1st trimester and the baby was very much developed, despite he/she being about two to three inches in length.

My boyfriend at the time wanted the baby. He would lay his head on my stomach and cry, saying things like, “I’m trying my best to save you.” He knew I was very overwhelmed and stressed and was having a very tough time making a decision. He really wanted to be a dad. On January 16, 1996, a relative who felt abortion was the “right” thing to do drove me to the clinic. I was crying the whole way there out of guilt and fear. We first got to a clinic and found out we were at the wrong place. I was still crying as I noticed a very pregnant woman announcing that she was pregnant with twins to someone. I felt then by the delay of arriving at the wrong place that this was one more sign I should not go through with it but…the increasing fear and anxiety of having a baby and the unknown of it all took over once again and we headed to the other place which was a surgical center. I sat in the waiting room and cried. My relative told me comfortingly, “I’m telling you, this is the most loving and caring decision you could make. The quality of life is as important as life itself.” Soon they wheeled me in on a gourney, me still being clearly emotional and in tears. Regardless, none of the staff or the doctor asked if I was sure I wanted to go through with this. Had they asked me, I would have said, “no” and walked out.

I was soon in the operating room. I remember seeing clear coiled tubes on a table which my unborn baby would be dismembered and sucked through and I heard cheerful music being played, as if it were just another routine “surgery” about to be performed. I woke up later in the recovery room feeling very drugged and almost in disbelief that my baby was gone. A part of me had wondered if maybe they could have made a mistake and I still had my baby inside of me somehow. When I had to wear pads throughout the day due to the typical bleeding that takes place after an abortion, the reality of the permanent decision I made became all too real.

Meantime, years passed and I discovered something else I least expected which made me realize abortion can kill or harm more than just an unborn baby. A year ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had surgery and radiation and declined chemo, as well as an estrogen receptor blocking drug called tamoxifen because both of these things can damage or destroy fertility and eggs. Being that I am in my late 30’s with no children, I just couldn’t see myself risking this. I’ve learned that even with fertility preserving methods such as freezing eggs, success rates are not very high so I made the decision not to go with all recommended treatments.

I don’t care what the doctors may tell you or may not want to tell you, abortion can greatly increase the risk of breast cancer. My type was lobular hormonal receptor positive and there are empirical scientific articles supported by research out there that clearly state there is a correlation between abortion and breast cancer because when a pregnancy is suddenly interrupted, there are changes in breast cells that take place because the cells are originally preparing to produce milk and the process is suddenly stopped, leading to the risk of irregular cell growth (cancer). These are not studies that are on religious sites or pro life sites. THESE ARE SCIENTIFIC ARTICLES that most doctors want to brush off. Don’t get me wrong, different factors can cause breast cancer and people can get it anyhow, but more than half the people who get it are much older than I and when you hear about younger people getting breast cancer, you really have to examine the situation and be educated about the abortion breast cancer link. I’m speaking from my own experience (and others’ out there). My experience speaks for itself. Keep in mind, I never drink, do drugs, etc, and have always tried to have a healthy lifestyle.

It’s an understatement to say that I regret my decision. Not only did I take an innocent unborn life, but part of my life was robbed as well. My child will never get to call me mom or blow out his/her birthday candles. He/she never had the chance to live because someone else chose for that baby. My child would have been 18 years old this August and I’m 38 now with no children. The father of my baby in heaven has since married and states he will probably never have the opportunity to have children again. I have not tried to get pregnant due to my career not being finished and my relationship situation being up in the air. I’ve never wanted to have a child out of wedlock and wanted to make sure that if I am blessed enough to become pregnant again, I want it to be the right situation. However, it’s reality that someone in their late 30’s has a much lower fertility rate than in their 20’s or early 30’s. Eggs age no matter what and in general, pregnancy is more difficult to achieve and maintain even if not impossible.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my child and what he/she would have looked like or been like personality wise. I always remember the August due date. Please know that there is a beating heart at only 3 weeks along and people don’t even know they are pregnant until way past then. Not only do I have to live with my decision but I also have the new health concern and threat of the breast cancer returning and having to wonder if it will rob my life too soon. If it weren’t for the abortion, there is a very high chance this concern would have never had to enter my mind. My story is proof that abortion can very well go beyond killing an unborn child…it can also haunt you later with a serious health threat (and possibly your life) down the road. I also have to now be concerned that with a possible future pregnancy, my hormone levels will go way up, possibly putting my risk of cancer recurrence very high. Not fun to have to worry about this and certainly not worth it!!!!!!!! Although it would not replace my unique child in heaven, I pray to be blessed with another baby and that I will be given another chance to have a baby in this life, living a long life with that child.

In closing, in memory of my child, I will share my story with as many as possible, in hopes they will take my story to heart and help to save unborn babies’ lives as more people choose against abortion. Please be aware that there are millions of people who cannot conceive and are on long wait lists for adoption, while tons of unborn babies are killed and devalued through abortion each minute. Please hear me, please trust me, abortion is not the easy way out! The reality of the decision will come back to haunt you later in life, (if not right away), emotionally and/or health wise!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at caremints@aol.com and I will be there for you. Thanks for reading my story!!!

**************************************************************

Katerina, who had an abortion and suffered great emotional pain afterward:

“The lady who met me there [at the local Family Planning Service] treated me as rudely as anyone could treat someone; there was no caring or concern in her manner. No options were presented to me. She said I was stupid to get pregnant and as I was 18 and at university she “presumed I wanted an abortion.” I remember asking about the difference between local and general anesthetic and she said, “Have [a] local as then you will know what has happened and never make this mistake again.” Her negative and unsupportive attitude is something I will always remember. I asked her at the time about other options, and she said, “Do you want to finish Uni?” I… I don’t remember making the decision, just that this is what I was expected to do; from the little information I had been told it seemed there would be no support and no future for me if I was to have the child…”

 Melinda Tankard Reist Giving Sorrow Words: Women’s Stories of Grief after Abortion (Springfield, IL: Acorn Books, 2007) 32

One woman talks about her abortion:

“It has been 10 years now, almost to this day, and I can still remember, clearly, those fatal few minutes that I will regret to my dying day. The abortionist did not speak or look at me except to growl, “Be quiet and keep still,” when I began to shake and cry against my own will as I felt his cold, sharp instruments cutting out the life that had been growing inside me for the past three months. The sound of the fetus dropping into the plastic bucket held between my legs is a sound I cannot erase from my memory, and to this day my throat feels choked and my stomach tenses, as I fight back tears for the baby I allowed to be killed.”

 Melinda Tankard Reist Giving Sorrow Words: Women’s Stories of Grief after Abortion (Springfield, IL: Acorn Books, 2007) 37

Lena, from Queensland, became pregnant at 25 by a man she loved:

“He encouraged me to wait until we were married, wait until we had spent more time with each other, wait until we had more money, wait until we did all the things we wanted to do together, and wait until the time was right. I desperately needed some support and agreed out of trust. After all, as some consolation, I had all these other things he wanted with me to look forward to.…

Shortly afterwards, the relationship failed. She says:

“I have just come to the end of this relationship and I can’t help but feel tricked somewhere along the line. We never got to that stage again and at the end of it all I am left alone without the love of either the father or the child… I feel I have lost something I can never regain.”

 Melinda Tankard Reist Giving Sorrow Words: Women’s Stories of Grief after Abortion (Springfield, IL: Acorn Books, 2007) 26

Too often, husbands or boyfriends pressure women to have abortions, then break up with them after the abortion. They often promised many things, and put a lot of pressure on the woman. One study shows that 64% of women are pressured into abortions by the men in their lives.

A postabortion woman named Cassie wrote:

“I often wonder what happened with my baby. Where did they put her? Sometimes I wish I could’ve seen her, although I know that it would have been not only painful but I think I would’ve got out of my mind! Still, most of the times I wish I knew what became of her; was she buried or just thrown away like some piece of rubbish. Sometimes I think of just ringing the clinic and ask them what they do with all the babies, but then, what am I expecting they’ll tell me!… All through the day I wonder how she would look, and how it would’ve been having her around with my two sons… Whenever I’m asked how many children I have, I refrain from saying three!”

 Melinda Tankard Reist Giving Sorrow Words: Women’s Stories of Grief after Abortion (Springfield, IL: Acorn Books, 2007) 40