Pregnant from rape, she says her son helped her heal

“I was 15, raped and pregnant. I now, 21 years later, have a happy, healthy 21-year-old son. My son did nothing wrong; he was just as much a victim of the rape as I was.

He didn’t ask for what happened to me anymore than I did. I would never let myself turn from victim into killer; I could never live with myself if I killed a baby — my baby no less. All that mattered to me was he was half mine, and I was going to do everything I could to give him the best life possible.

He is a blessing, not a curse, and he helped me heal from the rape, not relive it every day of my life.

You know what heals? Love is what heals and there is no greater love than that of a mother for her child.

He is my pride and joy. We made it work. Yes, I was scared out of my mind. I was not sure how I was going to finish school and raise a baby, but where there is a will there is a way, and I found all the resources I needed to help me accomplish my goal of being a parent who could provide for my son.”

Luke Faulkner “This rape survivor chose life for her son. Now he’s 21 years oldLive Action Action June 28, 2017

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Rape survivor who had her child tells her story

Patti Harrison is from Toronto, Canada. At age 14 she was brutally raped by multiple men, but she had her baby. Her son, Austin, is now 25.

In a speech sponsored by two Canadian pro-life clubs, she gave her testimony:

“I was born and raised in Ontario, and we moved shortly after to a town called Oshawa… It’s just about half an hour, 40 minutes outside of Toronto.

So, growing up was a pretty normal childhood besides the fact that I was dealing with some undiagnosed mental illness. And [I] had two parents. Both worked. Two brothers. We got along pretty well. But I didn’t get along with my parents, and I broke almost every rule they set in place for me, which made living at home hard. And when I was 14, we got in a huge fight and I was thrown out.

It was wintertime, and it was cold. I was looking for a place to stay, and I had a friend who knew somebody from high school that had their own apartment, and so I went there.

Well, when I got there, it was about midnight, and there was partying going on. And a little girl, she must’ve been about five, six years old answered the door and let me in. And took me by the hand, and we fell asleep watching TV on the couch together.

I heard a woman screaming, and I went to see what was going on. And when I got up the stairs, there was a man with a woman who was performing oral sex on him while he was injecting drugs into her arm. And I startled them.
So I was thrown down the stairs, and the rest of that night is pretty blurry. I remember bits and pieces of light and darkness. The door opening, the light from the hallway coming in. But I was left in a room in a basement, tied up, and left there.

A couple of days must’ve gone by and a lady came in who was a prostitute who would visit the house frequently to buy drugs, and she bought McDonald’s. The guy that was in charge I guess, he didn’t like the fact that she was talking to me, so he said that if I wanted to associate with the prostitutes, I’d be treated like one. And they tied me up and they raped me and took turns. That went on all night.

The next day I was allowed to take a bath. I was escorted to the bathroom by the guy that was always there…

A few days later I was taken out for a walk. And during that time, I had to carry little bits and pieces of things in my mouth. We would approach someone and I would have to spit one of the things that were in my mouth on the ground, and they would pick them up and take them away. At this time, I had no idea what was going on. I didn’t have any education at all where it came to drugs or sex or anything. I was 14 years old.

The police had actually cornered us at the corner of King Street, right by the Harvey’s downtown Oshawa in the snow, and I had to swallow all the little bits of pieces that I had in my mouth. The police searched us and let us go, and I had to rush back to the house where for two more days I was kept in the room and had to search through my stool to find the pieces that I had swallowed, and found out that it was actually crack cocaine that I was trafficking for these guys.

Finally, one of the girls that my mom bowled with showed up at the house, and she grabbed me and we left.

It was really scary the whole time I was there. I wasn’t treated like a human being. I was beaten. I was raped. I was brutalized, and I wasn’t treated like a human being.

So all of this coming into play kind of triggered what happened next. I went into a really deep depression, and I tried to commit suicide. I took a lot of pills, and I drink a lot of alcohol. I ended up in the emergency room with my mom. And the doctors in the emergency room told me that I was pregnant.
I was in shock because I had seen a doctor before that told me I couldn’t get pregnant. And then all of a sudden, now I’m pregnant. And so, my mom, she was in shock. And my father’s family asked me to abort because, number one, my son was biracial, more than likely, because all the men that were in and around the house this time that I was raped were black. And number two, he wasn’t going to have a father and I was only 14.

So when I had him, I was 15. I chose to keep him. I went against my family.

My mom took me to a little place called the Rose of Durham in Oshawa. It’s a facility for mothers that are young, teenage mothers. And they really were amazing. They gave me the courage to go through the pregnancy after each doctor that I had seen for my ultrasounds and my bloodwork told me that I should have an abortion, that my son was going to be deformed, that he wasn’t going to be healthy, that he wouldn’t make it to birth, that I was only 15 years old and I had my whole life ahead of me – they gave me every excuse not to keep him, but not one to keep him.

So when I met the people at the Rose of Durhum, they gave me the courage to think I can actually do this. I can be a mom to my son. No one warned me about what would happen after I had him, though. Because the depression, from having all of the stuff that happened, was catching up to me, and I was terrified. I was terrified to be a parent. And my mom stepped up, and said that I wasn’t alone and that we would do it together.

And I ended up having him.… He’s absolutely amazing.…

Was it difficult raising my rapist’s baby? At first it was, because that’s all I could see; I couldn’t get past what happened to me. [But] once I saw the sonograms and once I started to feel him move inside of me, and once I gave birth, all that basically went away. Because, just the feeling of love that sweeps over you – it just was remarkable.

And I don’t think for one second aborting him would’ve done me any good. Because it wouldn’t have stopped the fact that I had been raped, it wouldn’t have changed the fact that I was only a young teenager, it wouldn’t have changed anything.

My message to girls out there, and people who say, what if she’s raped, or what if it’s incest or what if it’s something unspeakable – well you know what? The baby doesn’t deserve the death penalty for something somebody else did. And 90% of the time, it’s not rape, it’s not incest, it’s convenience…

It baffles my mind that we are in such a cancel culture, that we can just cancel the life of a child because it’s inconvenient for us at the time. And that’s what people were trying to get me to do. Use the fact that I was raped, and use all those horrible, terrible things that happened to me, to scare me into deleting a part of my life that, he’s so amazing.…

Choosing the life of a child is never hard. It’s never hard. Growing up having that boy look at you and seeing yourself in your child isn’t hard… I just want to promise everyone out there, there is an alternative. You don’t have to choose abortion.

That’s my story. I’m not the only one. I hope that if somebody’s hearing this, and you have a friend, even if you’re contemplating having an abortion yourself, there’s so many places. You’re never alone. You’re never, ever alone. There’s so many places that will help you. There’s so many people that will help you. It’s a remarkable thing. It really is, to choose life.”

She gives credit to counseling and prayer for her healing, talking to your friends, talking about it and not bottling it in, and to:

“keep the lines of communication open with your friends and don’t keep it a secret, because the more people know about what you are going through, the more people that can help you with it. So make sure your friends are aware of what’s going on with you.

And just be open and honest. Say, “this is where I’m at. This is what happened, and this is where I’m at in life, and this is what I need. This is what I need from you.”

How did your family react when you decided to keep your baby?

“Well, my mom was okay with it. My dad’s father said that if I didn’t have an abortion I’d be disowned. So I still don’t talk to my biological grandfather. They never got over what happened. A few of my mom’s side of the family kind of turned their nose up about it, but mostly my father’s family. I was called a bad influence. I was told that by keeping my child and having a baby at such a young age I was a bad influence for my other cousins. Yeah. I didn’t have an easy time with it. But my mom and dad were amazing. They really were amazing.

My mom was in the delivery room when my son was born. She actually got to cut his umbilical cord. It was pretty cool.”

What advice would you give to a young woman facing a crisis pregnancy?

“Turn to your community. Turn to your family. If you don’t have family, there’s always, within a town or two from you, there’s always a crisis pregnancy center or program that they can get you in touch with… You can reach out to your community centers, and there’s moms to moms groups – there’s so much help for people out there nowadays that you don’t have to choose abortion.”

Asked what was hardest about choosing life.

“My grandpa and I were super close when I was a kid, and knowing that I wasn’t going to have that kind of relationship with my grandfather anymore.

Being a mom as a teenager isn’t easy because you now have another person that you have to take care of. So you don’t get to just up and go and hang out with your friends unless you bring a baby with you, or you have a good babysitter at home, like your mom or something.

But it’s so amazing at the same time. Because you’ve got this perfect example of God’s love for you. You’ve got innocence and purity and everything, everything good about yourself staring up into your face. His love for me healed me so quickly. It’s hard, but it’s so rewarding. It’s so, so, so rewarding. He’s a pretty cool guy.”

Asked, “Did you ever think of having an abortion for a second?”

“When the doctors were telling me that my son wasn’t going to survive. That his spine wasn’t attached to the back of his neck, that his internal organs weren’t developing right, that me keeping the pregnancy was just cruel. I did think for one second, would he be better off if I just had an abortion. Then, right away, something inside of me, every ounce of my being was screaming, no. No. He’s gonna be just fine.… They didn’t let anyone go into the ultrasound with me. They always made me go in by myself. And the doctors weren’t very nice.”

Asked how she would respond to those who wanted to silence her voice. Why was it important to listen to the stories of survivors?

“[The pro-choice claim is] it’s cruel and unusual punishment to make me raise my rapist’s baby. It’s not though. For starters, that baby is half you. That baby is half of your flesh and blood. That baby is half you. You don’t have to think of the baby as your rapist’s baby, for starters.
And everybody should be able to hear both sides of the story. Yes, I was raped. Does my son deserve to die for the choice somebody else made? And the answer is no.…

The baby inside of me is not my body. It’s just inside of my body. The baby has its own DNA. It has its own heartbeat. It has its own blood type. It is its own person. The baby has every single right to the same rights and freedoms as we have…, as a toddler has that’s walking around.”

Asked if the doctors who said they would be something terribly wrong with her son were lying to get her to abort or if they really believed something was wrong.

“I have no idea. I don’t know. I know that my son was born 7 lbs. 14 oz., perfectly healthy. I don’t know if they saw something on an early ultrasound scan. I know that I had a lot of ultrasounds, and physicals, a lot of blood work. I was very tiny, so I wasn’t growing as fast as they would’ve liked me to grow. So they might have thought that he was small. But as for all the other stuff, I’m sure they were just telling me what they wanted me to hear so that I would have the abortion. Because they were pressing very, very hard for me to have an abortion.”

Asked how her son dealt with or overcame the trauma.

“When Austin was… I think he was six, he wanted to know why my ex-husband wouldn’t come to any of his play stuff at school or his sporting events or anything like that. And one of my family members told him, “Well, don’t worry Austin, that’s not your real dad anyway. Your real dad is just some jerk that hurt your mom, and you don’t have to worry about seeing him.”

So my son wanted to know at that time, what are they talking about, my real dad? Sean’s my dad.

We had to sit down and explain to him that no, when mommy was really young, something really bad happened, but that didn’t make him bad at all. He was his own person. I asked him if…he would ever want to go and look for his biological father. And at the time he said, “No, mom. No. I don’t want to.” And he never really has. He’s 25, and he’s never given us the indication that he wants to know who his biological father is. Because honestly, I don’t know… He’s never really cared, because the way he looks at it is, my husband has been his father since he was really young, and he’s a great dad. And he’s not missing out on anything. So why would he really care about that? He’s never really given me any indication that my circumstances, the circumstances that brought him into this world affected him at all.

My children are all extremely pro-life. They’ve been very vocal with their family and their friends about the fact that they are pro-life and they don’t believe in abortion. They don’t believe that that’s a choice at all.”

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Post-abortive man shares story of girlfriend’s abortion of twins at 20 weeks

A man who identified himself only as RDF shared his story on Facebook. His girlfriend aborted twins at 20 weeks. He said:

She went into Planned Parenthood because she was “too young” (24) and wasn’t ready for children. She hadn’t “planned” to be a parent. I know… It’s ironic that a person who hadn’t planned to be a parent would visit “Planned Parenthood” to have her babies murdered inside her and then sucked out in little bits and pieces. That doesn’t sound anything at all like “planning” to me.

There were protesters there with posters and booklets and handouts… Offering insight, wisdom, help… An alternative to murder. She walked past the pictures of cut up babies. She ignored the small group of protesters. She was expressing her “legal rights”. She was expressing her “Womanly Rights”. She was a “modern woman”. Her life was about her. Not about the inconvenience of the “fertilized eggs” that were inside her.

They weren’t babies yet. She was less than 20 weeks pregnant… by a few days. Though the Sonogram showed two little babies. With fingers and hands… And feet and faces… And heartbeats… Two little innocent babies who were being protected by their mother in the safety of her womb. Two little babies who had never experienced hurt or pain, who never knew the evils of this world or the great wonders of this world. Who were completely 100% innocent. Alive… Waiting to be born.

The night before the abortion, we were talking about alternatives. I cried. She cried. She was a loose Christian. She believed in God in a spiritual sense but didn’t believe in the God of the Bible. I put my hand on her hand and then on her stomach and prayed and said, “Dear Lord, Please guide us through this dark and confusing hour. Please point us in the direction that only you know is right… Dear Lord…” And then we felt the strongest kick. And then another… And another. I cried. She cried. “The Lord is speaking to us. He answered our prayers.” She said, “But I’ve already made the appointment.” And I said, “That appointment means nothing, God has spoken to us.” I felt it. She said she felt it too. For the first time in her life… She felt God speaking to her.

Later that night, we were talking about the future and future plans. She said, “I’m not ready to be a mother.” I told her that nobody is. She said, “I’m scared.” I told her that every mother is scared. Although she wasn’t enrolled in college at the time, she wanted to go. I was enrolled in a Bachelor’s Program and was working toward my degree. She said, “But I want to finish college and do something with my life.” I told her that I would help with the baby and somehow we’d both finish college. “It might be harder. We may have to make some sacrifices but we’ll get through it.” She said that she was going to college and I could stay home and watch the baby. I was working for Lockheed Martin at the time and a condition of my employment was that I had to be enrolled in a Bachelor’s Program. So we disagreed on who was going to finish college first.

The fear and the anxiety and the uncertainty… led to a small disagreement that ended with us going to bed not talking. She faced one way. I faced the other.

That morning I got up and was getting ready to go to work. I thought everything was going to be fine. We made it through the storm. She came downstairs and said, “I’m going through with it.” “What?” She said, “I’ve made up my mind. I’m going through with it.” She asked me to drive her to the clinic.

I tried to reason with her. She wasn’t having it. I refused to take her. She called a cab. I thought to myself, “If I let her get in that cab, she’ll surely go through with it.” So I agreed to take her to Planned Parenthood in hopes of talking her out of it. She wasn’t having any of that. I tried to talk. She was silent. Not a word. I drove. She stared out the window. She was stubborn. She was a “modern woman”, nobody was going to tell her what to do… Not me… Not God… Nobody.

So we got to Planned Parenthood and I pulled into the parking lot and parked as close as I could to the protesters. She was unfazed. I walked with her through the small group of protesters. I took a pamphlet and tried to give it to her. She was determined. I said, “Look those are fingers. That’s a head. They were alive. Our babies are alive.” She was walking briskly… She pretended she didn’t hear me. We got to the security gate of Planned Parenthood and rang the doorbell. A woman came out and unlocked the gate and then locked it behind us. We went into the lobby of the building. I grabbed my girlfriends hand, “Don’t do this.” She tried to pull her hand back and said, “I’m not ready to be a mother.” “Please, don’t do this. Reconsider” The lady who escorted us in told her the clinic was on the second floor. “Please, We can get through this. Don’t kill our babies.” She pulled her hand back, turned away from me and went up toward the clinic.

I was defeated. I left the clinic and got in my car and drove way too fast down the street. I ran a couple of red lights. I was so scared and angry and hurt and lost and all the emotions like a broken damn came flooding through me. I wanted to scream. I was helpless to protect my babies. I was completely unable to do a single thing to protect them. Where were my rights? Where were the rights of those two beautiful babies? What in the hell did rights have to do with murder? Nobody has the right to murder!!! All of these thoughts flooded my emotions like a freight train… with each box car a thought… And it was going 500 miles per hour through my head. And then…. like an explosion… A tragic horrific wreck… A screeching scraping explosion of thought…

Everything went high pitch… And then went silent….

The moment my children were murdered, a ripple, a shockwave went through my body. Though I wasn’t there… I felt it. I knew something terrible had just happened in that moment. She felt it too.

I turned around and drove as fast as I could back to that clinic. I parked my car in the middle of the road in front of the clinic, nearly on top of the protesters. I rang the doorbell by the gate. I rang it again… and again… Finally the same lady came out. She let me in… She said, “You can’t leave your car there, the police will have it towed.” “They can have it, please open the door, let me in.” She opened the door. I ran to the top of the stairs. Up to the clinic. I ran through the doors. I went up to the little window. I asked where my girlfriend was… “She’s in recovery.” My heart sank, “Can I see her?” “Let me check,” the nurse said. A few agonizingly long minutes later she returned and escorted me to the recovery room.

My girlfriend was crying. She said, “I was wrong. I felt them when they died. They pulled my heart out with our babies.” I cried. She cried. She said, “Oh God, what have I done? I feel horrible, empty… I feel barren… Like a dead flower” I cried. She cried. I stayed with her for a few minutes but needed some air. I went down and moved my illegally parked car. I parked away from the protesters in the parking lot. Then went back up. When they finally let her leave… We cried. We walked past the protesters. She could barely stand. She cried the whole way home. “Why didn’t I listen?” “What was I thinking?” And on and on and on… The emotional pain was unbearable.

RDF goes on to say that his girlfriend fell into a suicidal depression. She was soon going in and out of mental institutions. “It ruined her life,” he said.

When your rights… ruin your life… There is something wrong with the law.

He concludes:

It is a big deal. It is devastating to the mother. The little babies feel it. The mother feels it. The father feels it. It is murder.”

Sarah Terzo “A father’s heartbreaking story…and Planned Parenthood’s response to men like him” Live Action News July 16, 2013

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Abortion linked to suicide in men, says counselor

Reporter Corrine Barraclough writes:

“We know male suicide rates are soaring.

Did you know male suicides and abortion-related mental illness are interrelated? Neither did I. It’s poorly understood by professionals too.”

Julie Cook, national director of ­Abortion Grief Australia says:

“Most suicide counsellors aren’t trained to identify abortion trauma. In fact, the vast majority aren’t even aware that it can be an issue for men. Most women have no concept that abortion can hurt men…

Male suicides can be both directly and indirectly related to abortion. One of the biggest predictors of male suicide is relationship breakdown. Unless work is done towards resolution, abortion trauma often ­destroys relationships.”

CORRINE BARRACLOUGH “Corrine Barraclough: Piecing together the pain of loss for men after abortion” The Daily Telegraph June 3, 2017

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Teenager has abortion due to incest, regrets it

Dallas Rushing was a victim of incest whose father impregnated her.

At 17, she went to live with her father and started having sex with him. He was abusive, but she was convinced she loved him. After she became pregnant, she wanted to have her baby, but he wanted her to have an abortion. She left him for good when she was 14 weeks pregnant after a bad beating. But she decided to get an abortion.

Rushing writes:

“I sat there holding my stomach. I was hoping I would feel a kick, and at one point I imagined I did. By the time I got in the Operating room, I was freezing and my legs wouldn’t stop shaking because I was shivering so much. The doctor told me to put my feet in the stirrups, but when my legs wouldn’t stop shaking, the doctor got mad at me. She rudely told me to stop shaking. At the same time, the nurses were pumping a medicine into my arm and I quickly fell unconscious…

I got up and walked out without my child, and I was fine. I didn’t think about what I had just done — I couldn’t think about it.

Two weeks went by and that’s when I started feeling the loss. I cried a lot … I just made the worst mistake of my life. I ended my baby’s life. My own child. My life felt like a living hell at that point. My heart was hurting so bad that I wished I would have died there with my child. I couldn’t go to work without drinking first.

Still to this day I cry and deeply mourn the loss of my child. Nothing has hurt me more than knowing that I killed my baby. I was supposed to be there to protect him. I wanted him in my life so much but I was a coward and took the easy way out. I can’t stand myself for the decision I made.

That is why I wrote this article. If you are pregnant because of rape or incest and you are lost, then please take this story to heart. You never know what you will miss, or how you will feel afterwards…. I am simply trying to save mothers and their babies.”

Dallas Rushing “I aborted a child due to incest. To this day, I still deeply mourn the loss of my babyLive Action News August 12, 2020

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Post-abortive youth pastor suffers grief and regret

Mark Bradley Morrow was working as a youth pastor when he impregnated three women, one of them twice. All four babies were aborted, with his approval.

Years later, when he married a woman with a young daughter, he began to suffer from depression and grief over his lost children. He tells his story in his book The Greatest Pretender: 1 Youth Leader, 4 Abortions, 18 Years of Secrecy. He writes about walking his stepdaughter, Ricque, to the school bus stop:

“When she was ready, I walked her out and watched the kiddos of various ages getting on the bus, shouting and playing happily. Suddenly something struck me. My four unborn children should be on this very bus. They should be playing, laughing, and making new friends. I became dizzy under the weight of that thought…

My other four children should be on this bus. I should have their elementary school drawings on the fridge, and they should currently be in middle school, going out for sports or plays. Soon they’d be heading into high school… In a few years, I should someday be teaching them how to drive, discussing dating, taking them to their varsity sporting events… They’d look and act like me in many ways, maybe even be into singing and music. I’d take them to Christian and Oldies concerts, see them go to prom. Homecoming, graduate, help them decide on colleges… I turned from the bus to hide the torrent of tears. My heart ached to realize I would never know them on this Earth. They were truly my invisible children.”

Mark Bradley Morrow and Brad Rahme The Greatest Pretender: 1 Youth Leader, 4 Abortions, 18 Years of Secrecy (New York: Morgan James Publishing, 2019) 179

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Pro-choice researcher says women who experienced sexual assault can be traumatized by abortion

Pro-choice researcher Gloria Zakus wrote:

“Certain categories of women are much more likely to have postabortion problems sometimes months or years later… Women with a history of sexual abuse, including incest, molestation, or rape, may respond with greater anxiety to abortion plans, encompassing even the initial pelvic exam. On a conscious or unconscious level, these women may associate gynecological and abortion procedures with previous aggressive violations. One such case involving a teenager in an incestuous relationship with her father required hospitalization and the use of general anesthetic in order to do a suction procedure.”

Gloria Zakus and Sandra Wilday “Adolescent Abortion Option” Social Work in Health Care 12 (4), Summer 1987, 86 – 87

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13-year-old chooses life after rape

Pregnant by rape at age 13, a young woman had her baby. Serrin Foster recalls:

“After my lecture at a Midwestern university, a student pulled me aside. She told me that she was raped by her third cousin as a mere 13-year-old and had become pregnant. Her parents had helped her have the privacy she wanted during her pregnancy, and then she placed her son with two loving parents.

I asked her, why she did she make the decision to have the child – when she was just a girl who had lived through what was arguably the worst of circumstances? She said she would never pass on the violence that was perpetrated against her to her own unborn child. Now that is the strength of a woman. That’s a feminist response.”

Serrin M Forster “Pro-Woman Answers to Pro-Choice Questions” The American Feminist 2012, p 6

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Mother from rape had her daughter and is now a pro-life activist

Kristi Kollar, a young mother whose daughter was conceived in rape:

“No matter how terrifying my situation was, and just because her dad was a rapist — none of this was my baby’s fault. There was this life inside of me, and it’s not my right to take it away.”

The article says:

“Kristi’s daughter Adeline is now 18 months and today accompanies her mother to speak on behalf of life around the country.”

Patty Knap “Former abortionist, rape victim to celebrate life in NYC Gift of Life Walk” Aleteia Mar 13, 2020

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After miscarriage, father is shocked at how developed his 14 week old baby was

A man whose wife had a miscarriage:

“A few months ago, my wife miscarried twins she was carrying. One, a boy, was lost at 14 weeks. The second, a girl, was lost at 16 weeks. The boy was lost at home.

My question is an honest one-have any of you who believe that abortion is okay actually seen a fetus at fourteen weeks?

From everything I was ever told by the press, etc., I was totally unprepared for what I saw. . . Imagine a baby, born after nine months, but with no hair and only about 8 inches long. . . . fingers, toes, arms, legs, nose, mouth- everything. All this at only 14 weeks.”

From alt.abortion.inequity “My Wife’s Miscarriage”

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