Category: Anti-Choice Abortions

Husband pressures wife into unwanted abortion

From one woman who had an abortion:

“I was not thrilled at all about this pregnancy, but I knew I could never abort one of my children. It’s something I have always felt so strongly about. My husband, on the other hand, told me that there was absolutely no way we could afford to bring another life into this world and our only option was to abort. It didn’t matter what he said at the time because, despite the unfortunate circumstances, this baby was already a part of me and I had already loved it.

I tried keep a positive attitude towards the situation, telling him how we have survived way worse things then having a child. I told him that it was our mistake for not using protection during sex and that we had to grow up and deal with the consequences of our actions. I promised to get my tubes tied so we wouldn’t have to go through having another child ever again.

None of my efforts worked. Ten days later, after being verbally abused, ignored, and basically treated like the scum of the earth, I made my appointment to have an abortion. Part of me didn’t want my child to be born with a dad so hateful. I figured my baby would be better off in heaven then in my own home.

The day that I decided to have an abortion was the absolute worst day of my entire life. … It’s been three days and I have not stopped crying. I have nightmares about my baby every night. Whenever I get a moment to myself, I break down and cry. It’s the type of pain you can feel in your bones, the type of regret that never goes away. I have dropped out of the online class I was taking because I can’t seem to focus on anything but the child I killed. I am divorcing my husband and quitting my job to move down south with a family member. I sleep with a teddy bear at night now because of the emptiness I feel inside…

I am here to tell anybody who thinks that having another child is hard that nothing is as hard as reliving the image of a complete stranger taking that child from you. It’s disgusting and I hate myself every second of the day.”

Ashley Wehrli “15 Women Who Regretted Their Abortion Tell All” Babygaga Apr 20 2018

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Husband pressures pregnant wife: “I don’t want this baby”

Patricia A Bigliardi tells her abortion story. She writes about what happened when she told her husband she was pregnant. Before she told him, she was happy about the pregnancy. When she told her husband, he said:

“Are you serious? You’re kidding, right?” His voice strained the words out as my eyes darted to the expansive windows. “This is probably the worst time for us to have to deal with a new baby.” The irritation in his voice was unmistakable. “I can’t believe it. How could this have happened?”

Suddenly the smile I’d had all morning vanished.

Kelly lowered his voice but there was no warmth in it. “Pat, I don’t want another baby.” The finality of his words lay between us like a gravestone. “Listen, I’ll support your decision either way, but I want you to know I don’t want this baby.”…

The drive home from the doctor’s office earlier that morning had been filled with such expectation. Weaving through the soft undulating foothills that escort Highway 280 from Los Altos to San Jose, I had allowed my happiness to bubble to the surface. A baby. How I longed to have another child: to feel the warmth of its body as I held it close, to watch its small mouth sucking at my breast, to smell the sweetness of mother’s milk on its breath. I wanted to shout to the world, “I’m pregnant!” Emotions ran together: elation, joy, jubilation, wonder. A new life had begun to form in me.”

She had the abortion, and later regretted it deeply.

Patricia A Bigliardi Beyond the Hidden Pain of Abortion (Lynnwood, Washington: Women’s Aglow Fellowship International, 1997) 11, 12

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Young women pressured to abort by parents

From a young woman who was pressured by her parents to have an abortion:

“ok yeah i also dont believe in abortions but seein i was so young i didn’t have a say in it, my parents set it all up and i just went along with it, i was so young i only had just turned 17 but gee calling me a murderer before a baby has a heart beat is kinda stupid seeing the baby couldn’t be killed because the baby neither had a heart or brain, i can’t believe how childish people can be, its not them that had to go through the abortion it was hard for me because in those 7 weeks i got attached to it and i had to give it up something that i have wanted, i wanted to have the baby i would have loved it, but i was young, James was young and we couldn’t handle having a baby.”

“but seein i was so young i didn’t have a say in it” JivinJehoshaphat  February 16, 2006

At 7 weeks, her baby had a heartbeat, and a brain that was giving off brain waves.  (New research shows that the heart may start beating as early as 16 days after conception)

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Woman blogs about abortion she was pressured into

A woman wrote about her abortion. She originally wanted to keep the baby:

If he decided to want to keep the baby…I would TOTALLY keep it….

When we agreed yes to keeping it one afternoon, we talked about naming the baby, what the baby would look like…complexion, eyes, nose, hair..and then the rest of the day would go by…and nothing would be talked about..then he woke me up that night to tell me that he doesn’t want to keep it…because he’s not ready to settle down….

Later that afternoon as I was taking him to work we argued at the fact that I said I’m keeping the baby…and he was giving me the guilt trips…after a few mins…he agreed to keeping the baby again…and then…the next morning..after he dropped me off at work..he went to an abortion clinic…talked to a counselor…and then came back to me with paperwork that its okay to have an abortion….

I mentioned to him…that if he and I were to break up…I would keep the baby…I don’t know why I said that….

After the abortion:

Since then, I’ve cried for hours upon hours…every day. I don’t cry when my bf’s around but he doesn’t make me feel any better about the relationship. We made a commitment and I followed through with mine. His answers now are slightly changing. He was sooo adamant about “yes I’ll keep my words…my promises” prior to the abortion and then 3 days later..his words are changing about what his commitment was.

I hate myself for killing my own. I try to hide it, to keep my spirits up but really it doesn’t help. I realize I don’t like to keep my spirits up just because I feel like then I’d be avoiding the truth and feeling like a heartless cold person.”

JivinJehoshaphat 

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Mother admits pushing teenage daughter into abortion

Sally, who is the mother of a 15 year old girl having an abortion, said the following to an interviewer in an abortion clinic:

“I think [her daughter] Debi’s decision was kind of swayed that way, to have an abortion. I’m pro-choice, and I think we all swayed her, but I believe it’s for her own good. It was made out like it was her decision, but I know we pushed. She feels okay now, but she hasn’t expressed too much about it.”

Carole Dornblaser and Uta Landy, PhD The Abortion Guide: A Handbook for Women and Men (Rockville Center, New York: Playboy Paperbacks 1982) 93 – 94

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Mother demands 12 year old daughter “chooses” abortion

A woman who had an abortion at 12 wrote:

“I got pregnant for the first time when I was 12. I didn’t have any idea about birth control. I wasn’t devastated. At 12, how can you even begin to comprehend the vastness of the situation? When my mother found out she went through the ceiling. She helped me make my decision. I remember her words, “I want what you want as long as what you want is what I want. And what I want is an abortion.”

She went on to have 2 more abortions.

MARILYN BALAMACI, et. al. “Eight Other Women’s Stories” People Magazine August 05, 1985

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Post-Abortion Woman: “You feel a huge loss”

A woman who had an abortion describes how her husband pressured her into it:

“We had been married for four years and had talked about kids and their names. The time seemed right. I got very excited when I found out I was pregnant. But my joy was colored by a remark my husband had made earlier. When my period was one week late he said, “So when are you getting your period?” I said, “What if I don’t?” He said very matter-of-factly, “Well, you’ll just have an abortion.”…

He made it clear he was not ready for the responsibility of having a child. … I was so scared to have a baby without any support that fear overwhelmed any rational decision I could have made….

Afterward I felt empty inside. It was like a dull ache. I just wanted to embrace something. I cried for days. Every time I got my period I would think, “There’s another chance gone by.”

A few months later my husband and i separated. I think the divorce would have happened anyway; the abortion only hurried it along…

Abortion is a very personal choice, but it’s not an easy one. It is not a form of birth control. You don’t just go in and—poof—it’s gone. You feel a huge loss. And you mourn.”

MARILYN BALAMACI, et. al. “Eight Other Women’s Stories” People Magazine August 05, 1985

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She saw her aborted child’s head

Lorijo Nerad, 28, Michigan-based national president of Women Exploited by Abortion (WEBA), told her abortion story:

“If I knew what I know now, I never would have had my abortion. I thought it was the only way out. I was 18 years old…My husband was unemployed…and we were on welfare. The caseworker thought I was irresponsible. She called Planned Parenthood and made an appointment for me to have an abortion. I was scared to death they were going to cut off our payments. I talked it over with my husband and he said, “Choose. It’s either me or the baby.” I felt trapped, scared and alone.

I was almost three months pregnant when I had the abortion. I was given a pamphlet that showed a drawing of a little blob of jelly inside of a womb and I thought, “Oh great, that’s what it looks like. I’ll go for that.” They didn’t inform me of the development of the child, and there was no discussion about the emotional or psychological problems.

My obstetrician did the abortion in the hospital. I had no anesthesia, no local, no tranquilizers. I lay there on the table and cried. A sheet was draped across me, and the doctor wiped pieces of the baby on it. Two weeks later I was in severe pain, just horrible. I went to the bathroom and there, in the toilet paper in my hand was my baby’s head—a little bit smaller than a golf ball and all black and tarry. They hadn’t removed it during the abortion. I called the doctor, and he said it was normal, throw it away, no big deal.”

MARILYN BALAMACI, et. al. “Eight Other Women’s Stories” People Magazine August 05, 1985

 

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Postabortion counselor: 90% of women I see aborted to please someone else

A woman who counsels women who regret their abortions says:

“Of the many women I’ve counseled, I would say that well over 90% of them aborted their babies to please someone else: their husbands, boyfriends, parents, or peer group… It’s a mockery to talk of a woman’s right to choose when she’s not the one doing the choosing.”

Melanie Symonds, Phyllis Bowman And Still They Weep: Personal Stories of Abortion (The SPUC Educational Research Trust, 1996) 9

Are women who are pressured into abortion more likely to regret their choice?

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Abortionist attempts to pressure pro-life woman into abortion

Pro-Life feminist Pat Goltz shares her story:

“On September 30, 1977, an abortionist attempted to coerce me into an abortion. His excuse was that I had experienced hemorrhage the night before. Although my vital signs remained stable for 10 hours and blood loss was minimal during that time, he stressed that I must have a D&C or face the possibility of further hemorrhage. He told me he thought I had miscarried and that if by some rare chance I was still pregnant, it would be impossible for me to carry to term.

He made no attempt to determine the cause of the hemorrhage or whether or not I was still pregnant. He ordered me to stay in bed and the sides of the bed were put up. He gave me 2 ½ hours to think about having the D&C… He didn’t inform me of any complications that might arise from the operation, nor at any time to use the term “abortion” to describe the operation, nor did he indicate that to be pregnant means to be carrying a baby and that a D&C would deprive me of that baby. I received no counseling.

Although my doctor and the entire nursing staff attempted to intimidate me with the possibility of hemorrhage, I made the decision not to have the operation and went home… My pregnancy progressed normally.

This is what the “right to choose” has meant to me: that I was asked to make a decision which would have affected my entire life while I was in a debilitated condition, alone, in 2 ½ hours, without counseling, with erroneous and inadequate information, and after being subjected to intimidation.”

Ann Saltenberger Every Woman Has a Right to Know the Dangers of Legal Abortion (Glassboro, New Jersey: Air – Plus Enterprises, 1983) 158

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