Author: Tech

I recently had an abortion, 12/4/2001 to be exact. At
the time I felt it was the best choice because the man was married and I already had a nine year old. In my heart I can admit to myself that I wanted the baby but because of thinking about everybody else except my innocent baby I had an abortion. I sat in the waiting room , waiting for someone to come and rescue me but they never did. As I lay on the cold table all I could do is pray and ask for God to forgive me. I am still praying for forgivness. This has been traumatic for me but I wear the mask that everything is fine and the minutes, hours, and days have passed and it still hurts like it was today. I can no longer talk about it
I am almost frantic.

GA

“I know I took things harder than most, but I’ll never forget the sounds, I don’t feel anyone human could…”

I don’t think I’m ready for this, but I need someone to hear me. I’m almost 20, and had an abortion last Friday. I’d read the site, but abortion was never really an issue in my heart, I wanted my baby, my boyfriend however did not. After two years, you don’t think someone could really leave you over a baby, especially their own, but now I know that’s where we get single mom’s. So what were my reasons? I looked at how it would effect everyone except for myself and MY BABY. I never even thought about myself (I didn’t think anyone cared). Most women hear their baby’s heart beat as a first step in pregnancy. I saw my baby on my first visit to the abortion clinic. At 14 weeks, I already wanted to hold it, it was so much bigger than I thought, so defined. I watched my baby’s fast heart beat, it’s little chest rise and fall, and I watched it kick as she moved the ultrasound wand. My baby. I’ll take that image to my grave. The next day I returned for the operation, why? Because two people took time off work to take me, not because I wanted to be there. I know I took things harder than most, but I’ll never forget the sounds , I don’t feel anyone human could. I didn’t judge any of the girls in the recovery room for their decisions, but it hurt me that most of them showed no remorse and instead, relief. I live now in regret. And there’s nothing I can do. I read another letter in your columns, a girl stated that she’d killed someone and it was legal. I too questioned why I wasn’t in jail. It was even worse than killing your neighbor, I killed my baby. I could not wish my experience on my worst enemy. I know I’m not stable right now, but I just want to help ONE person, only one if I could.. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART, you can do it! There are organizations to help you, and most of all support is almost anywhere if you look… I know that now. I am on the road to recovery, coping with my decision, but forever a piece of my heart will of been left at that clinic.

Good luck.
H.L. 11/6/99

In 1991 I found myself a difficult situation. I was 15 years old and pregnant. I desperately wanted to keep the child but was forced by my mother to have an abortion. I am traumatized by the fact that I felt I had to “get rid of it” or betray my mothers choice. I think about it everyday when the sun is shining on me, how good it feels, how I created this little life and then so horribly deleted it, how this person will never feel the sun, or see a beautiful sunrise. I would not ever suggest having this procedure performed. It’s so disgraceful. My Mom thinks that she did me a favor, when really I feel absolutely terrible. I cry about it all of the time. Don’t do it, it will affect you and your unborn baby forever. No matter how bad you feel or how much you want to change your decision afterwards you can never. Those doctors are murderers.

KL

I wish I had seen this information two years ago. Every day of my life until the day I die I will live with what I did to my child. The pain never goes away. I would like for anyone who is contemplating an abortion to know that it is not an answer and it is not an easy way out. I have two children,and giving birth and raising babies is much easier than living and dealing with the pain that you will feel when one day you wake up and realize that you murdered your child, and there is nothing that you can do to change that.You can not take abortion back,it will haunt you for the rest of your life.I pray to the lord for forgiveness,and I also pray for another chance to give my baby life. The only thought that enables me to keep a grip on my sanity is knowing that the Lord Jesus Christ is holding and loving my sweet baby in his hands.

JE

I just celebrated my 21st birthday, and if I hadn’t chosen to have an abortion just over a year ago I would be celebrating my child’s very first birthday. The due date was May 23, 1998. A date that I will never in my life forget. To all the young ladies that are trying to find out as much information as you can on the internet or this web site in fact let me tell you first hand that there are many things you need to consider before making this decision. This decision will be one that you will NEVER forget! Read this web page and then ask yourself the question…..Why are you doing this? If you are having an abortion because anyone but yourself thinks this is the best choice for you, you need to rethink this. The choice I made haunts me everyday of my life. I never go a day without thinking of it and praying to God that he forgives me for what I have done. My heart goes out to any girl that has to make this decision. Your not alone and there are people out there that can help you with this.

Sincerely,

From someone who has been there 4/14/99

In an article in The British Medical Journal Sept 2, 2000, entitled “Abortion: A Hell of a Decision” a woman writes:

“Slowly I began to notice little babies, and grief started to eat into my calm exterior. Pain such as I had never felt before worked its way into my vulnerable mind, and I realized that I was crumbling. The numb feeling that had protected me for so long was ebbing away, and I didn’t know what to do. The reality of the termination had hit me in the form of grief and despair and above all guilt. I tried to reason with myself that I had no option, but that grief was being translated into anger. …. I couldn’t sleep at night and during the day I alternated between self pity and pain. Worst of all were the frequent moments when tears just poured uncontrollably down my face.”

Another woman posted a story under the heading “I’m Pro-Choice But….

Here is an excerpt:

“It is the worse feeling in the world, to know lying on that table, that you can’t take it back. I have struggled with depression, flashbacks, anxiety and a big sense of loss. I also struggle with guilt, the guilt of having actually taken a life, yes a life. I believe now that life begins at conception. No it didn’t look like a peanut, or a glob of jelly; it had arms, legs and eyes and moved around, although it was too early for me to feel.

I was 9 weeks. I lost my life after i lost my child, i had to give up my apartment because i was too unstable to stay alone, and the memories, well they were overwhelming…..”

 

I am a 20 year old woman who had an abortion 3 yrs. ago. I think it is appalling how these clinics lie. I was nine weeks pregnant and they told me my baby looked like was a piece of skin, that is had no heartbeat,or feeling. I had a friend recommend me to this website and I know its murder, and I know that if the clinic would actually tell the truth, there wouldn’t be so many abortions. There is so much pain involved, not only physically, but mentally as well. That clinic never told me that I would feel bad about this later, or that it reduces my chance of having kids, or about the risks of breast cancer. All they wanted was my money. They don’t care about these women, all they care about is getting that abortion done, and getting the money. I really like your site and I wish you the best of luck!
Please just sign me,

Anonymous

“I’m so sad… I’m so regretful for what could have been. …. Will I ever get over my regret? I want my baby back. …. I wish I would have thought through it more. I wish I would have taken the time to visit old friends I haven’t seen in a long time… who have little children in their thirties. But I didn’t… I was feeling pressed for time. As the more time that went by, the more attached I got. I was confused, I felt fat already and uncomfortable in my clothes. I wasn’t married. Didn’t want to get married… But would love to hold another big, fat healthy baby. I knew, with this one, there would be no arguing, no divorce or custody issues. I would be with this baby each and every day of its life. But its life never came to be… I’m still so sad… I feel I made the wrong choice. I believe in Pro-Choice… but why aren’t those clinics given more counseling requirements. Why couldn’t they be forced to make me wait another day or week? Perhaps I would be a very happy expecting mother… Now I’ll never know whether or not I made the right choice. I’m still so sad.”