A post-abortion woman shares her pain in a pro-life tract:
It was in 1973, and I became pregnant from a date rape. I tried to hide it from my parents, but they found out, and then the pressure started. “How are you going to go to college with a baby?” “How are you going to support it.” “It’s only a Blob of Blood…it’s not a Baby yet!” And, before I had time to think about what I wanted, my Abortion was over.
The Abortion itself was a living Hell! I thought my guts were being pulled out! It was degrading and I was terrified; and when it was over, something made me ask the doctor, “Was it a Boy, or a Girl?” And he answered, “I can’t tell, it’s in pieces!” The counseling consisted of throwing some birth control pills my way. It’s hard to put into words how the abortion affected me! After that, I became a tramp and slept with any man who offered me sex. I engaged in unprotected sex, and every month that I wasn’t pregnant, I went into a deep depression. I wanted my parents to see what I had become. I dropped out of college and attempted suicide. I couldn’t get sleeping pills, so I used over the counter sleeping pills and booze; When that failed, I then tried to make relationships work with men, any man. I was driven with a deep need to have a child, and, thinking irrationally, I thought that if I was married, my parents couldn’t interfere, so I got married, but I got married for all the wrong reasons. Six months after we got married my first child was born, and I was ecstatic with joy! Then, I got pregnant again, and soon after this, we lost this baby when I was 5 months along. Then the depression that I had dealt with earlier, came back in full force; and I can remember thinking:
“I deserve this…I have sinned against God.” Then, six months later, I was pregnant yet again! I had this need to get pregnant and have as many babies as possible. The hardest thing was to forgive myself for having the abortion, altho when I finally asked for God’s forgiveness, He forgave me instantly.
It wasn’t as easy for me to forgive myself, however; It took time and working through the grief at a Pregnancy Crisis Center in counseling. Today I am working with other women in a Pregnancy Crisis Center in trying to help them to choose not to abort, and sharing, with love and empathy, the other options they can choose; instead of ending their child’s life.
The tracts author then shares this bible verse:
“I call Heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore, choose Life, that both thou and thy seed may live; That thou mayest love the Lord thy God, and that thou mayest obey His voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto Him: for He is thy Life; and the length of thy days.” Deut. 30:19-20
Religious beliefs expressed in testimonies are not necessarily endorsed by clinicquotes
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