14 years later, woman regrets her abortion

A woman on Pro-Woman Pro-Life gives her abortion testimony:

Regretting the abortion didn’t happen right away. I spent over fourteen years thinking nothing of it really.

There comes a point when you cease to see it as “I was never supposed to get pregnant in the first place” to knowing “I was never supposed to abandon that life. And the life I’ve had in the 14 years since the abortion has been an extreme of imbalance for not having that child that was supposed to have been a part of it, supposed to have given me gifts of grace and taught me profound, sometimes painful sometimes joyful lessons.

I’ve struggled to get those teachings elsewhere – teachings that would have come so naturally from raising a child. I’ve spent countless amounts of money on schools and therapies and metaphysical seminars. The underlying ingredient, as we all know, for health and healing is Love. The abortion was around $360. $360 to cut of a life long supply to the most necessary ingredient for healing. Then another $40…50…80,000 spent trying to buy that ingredient back in another form – a form that didn’t require me to be a parent, that let me remain the child.

Not to mention the countless thousands spent in the downward spiral of drug abuse that ensued in the years following the abortion. Never before tonight had I ever connected those two things in my life. Would I have started shooting herion if I’d never had an abortion? Obviously if I was raising a child I’d be less likely to experiment with fringe lifestyles but was the drug abuse a reaction to the abortion? If I’d lost the child through miscarriage or not gotten pregnant at all, would I have avoided a life of drug abuse? Most certainly if I had brought this being into the world in 1997 I would not have resorted to IV drug use by 1999.

I thought I would never have it together enough to raise a kid, would not have anything to offer. I didn’t even consider what that child had to offer me. That is not to condone the introduction of selfishness into the decision to have a child. Those who treat children as tools for their own gain do much harm to life as well. But the act of selfishness I participated it by aborting a life rather than aborting a lifestyle. That can never be undone. I pray with all my heart that every young woman considering an abortion will instead make the choice for the gift of life. It is not up to us to judge the quality of life and thereby determine its right to exist or not. If my daughter or son were alive today he/she would be 14 years old and would most likely have had a challenging quality of life. But he/she would have gotten the opportunity to make of it what he/she chose to. And the opportunity to transform the heart of one woman on earth -mine. That is a miracle I deprived myself and my child from partaking in.
Kristin S.

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Author: Sarah

Sarah is a member of the board of The Pro-life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians.

2 thoughts on “14 years later, woman regrets her abortion”

  1. It’s been 36 years since “my” abortion, one I had no “choice” in deciding when my fiance decided to abort my first child and break off the engagement.

    A “woman’s right to choose” is a choice to kill a man’s offspring.

    It is one of the most violent ways to say “F” you imaginable.

    In my case, it has haunted me for close to forty years.

    I do enjoy my other children, just miss what could have been.

    This is no more neurotic, nor maudlin than any of the women who have shared their stories.

    1. I am so sorry for your loss. You know, Silent No More and Project Rachel both hold retreats for postabortion women and men. Maybe you can look into that. I hope you find healing, and I”m very very sorry.

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