Marie tells her story:
I was 21 when I had my abortion. My husband was going to school and I was home with the two kids; I got pregnant again when Rachel was not yet one-year-old. When I told Vince he got really upset – he has a pretty controlling personality. He said that only ignorant people have more than two kids. It was the population control idea: two in, two out.
I was seeing a Christian therapist for depression, and she told me that I couldn’t go through the pregnancy because of my condition. When I said I didn’t think abortion was right, she said that was only because of my Catholic upbringing. She told me to listen to my husband.
So at last I went to the doctor. When he asked me what I wanted to do, I said my husband wanted an abortion, but the baby… And he interrupted me saying, “What have you been reading? It’s a fetus.” So I scheduled the abortion. I had about a week of waiting, hoping that Vince would turn around and say, “No, I want this baby!”
It never took place. He never rushed in and saved me. All the prayers I said – it never happened. It never happened.
I remember him trying to cheer me up on the way to the abortion. He stopped at an art festival. I can remember picking up this face that was fired with coal; it had black splotches all over it. I bought that thing. Vince said, “Why did you buy that?” I said, “This is my soul.” I felt just terrible.
Finally, on that last stretch of road before the clinic, he turned to me and said, “Do you think you’re smarter than the Supreme Court?” That just killed any last maternal instinct that was in me. I thought, how could I be smarter than the Supreme Court?
I went through it. One of the things that amazed me was that, when I got there, they would not let Vince come any further than the front door. I think if he had, it might have made a difference. It was easy for him to push and run, when it came to doing it, I was by myself.
The nurse at the clinic said, “You can have another baby when you’re ready.” It was the only time that anyone but me used the word “baby.” I have a suction abortion, and I can still remember the expression on the nurse’s face as she watched.”
Frederica Mathews-Green. Real Choices: Offering Practical, Life-Affirming Alternatives to Abortion (Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Books, 1994) 146 to 147
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