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We had just killed her baby: Mother of woman who had abortion

Teri Stanton’s daughter Sheri had an abortion; Teri agreed with her decision and encouraged her. Right after the abortion, they both have second thoughts.Finally, she realizes we had just killed her baby.

“I wasn’t prepared for what I saw as the door to the procedure room opened. There on a flat, cold, stainless steel table, laid my little girl, alone. Her baby is gone from her now. Sheri was covered in a white sheet. Her face was as pale as the sheet that covered her. Her eyes were glazed over and her pupils were dilated. She’d been given some sort of anesthesia. The nurse instructed me to get her up and dressed and we should leave, through the side door, not the front door, as soon as possible…

I just wanted her out of this awful place! Sheri stood up, holding onto the table for balance… As I walked over to the chair to get her clothes, the metal trashcan cranked open and, as I spun around, Sheri was vomiting. Immediately, blood began gushing from her wounded body. In horror, as blood pooled around her bare feet, she cried,

“That’s… my baby’s blood!”

It was the first time since the nightmare began that Sheri said the words “my baby.” In that one moment, the abortion, the horror, the reality of the murder of a tiny life, came flooding in with unabashed, intolerable reality. We had just killed her baby.”

Teri Stanton Two Minus One: Our Abortion Story (Meadville, PA: Christian faith Publishing, Inc., 2016) 39 – 40

After her abortion, she wished picketers had stopped her

From a doctor who had an abortion when she was younger. and now deeply regrets it:

“… As I left through the front door of the clinic that day there were several protesters on the front sidewalk. I could feel their stares penetrating me as I avoided their eyes. The best I could muster at that moment was anger towards them. “How can they be here at a time like this? They have no idea what I’m going through. I wish they would keep their opinions to themselves.” What would I say to those people now? “Thank you for being here and standing up for what you believe in”? Or would it be “Why couldn’t you have been there to stop on my way in?”

Marissa Ogle, M.D. Still Healing:(2016) 16

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“Was yours a boy or girl?” Postabortion woman hears

One woman who had an abortion described being in the recovery room and coming to terms with what had just happened:

“After the procedure was over, I was taken to another room and told to sit for a while. Several younger girls were sitting in chairs lined up against the wall. A girl, who looked like she was about 16, asked, “Was yours a boy or a girl?” I was shocked! What did she mean? Surely this wasn’t a baby! Not yet!”

Barbara Horak Real Abortion Stories: The Hurting and the Healing (El Paso, Texas: Strive for the Best Publishing, 2007) 80 – 81

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Woman pressured into abortion by her doctor

A woman was taking pills for tumor she had, and then notified the doctor that she was pregnant.

“Soon after I started this medicine, I became pregnant… But my doctor wasn’t happy. Because of the medication, he told me I could not have this baby because my life would be in danger and that my baby could be a monster. He said, “You must decide quickly to have a D&C before the heart starts beating.” He never talked to me about alternatives.

I was seven weeks pregnant, and at the time, I did not know a baby’s heart is beating just three weeks after conception. Looking back, I don’t know why the doctor gave me the wrong information or why he would not use the word “abortion” to describe what he wanted me to do.”

7 weeks

She got no counseling at Planned Parenthood and describes her pain after the abortion:

“On the way home, I was in excruciating pain. At home standing in my kitchen, I began hemorrhaging. Dail helped me to the bathroom where I passed more bloody pieces! After I got into bed, I called my mother, but she said that maybe we shouldn’t talk about it. I felt too ashamed to call the doctor. Although the doctor called it a D&C, I knew Planned Parenthood did abortions.”….

Feet of baby at 7 weeks

I do know that my baby’s size, the level of her physical and mental development, and her possible dependency and special needs did not justify her death…

When the abortion clinic nurse told me, “This will be over quickly,” she didn’t tell me that I would regret it for the rest of my life.

Even though my situation might be viewed as a “tough case” and one that many people would consider a justifiable reason for abortion, I still consider it a tragic and irreversible choice that has caused me deep pain and regret…

I learned that grieving, which is so important in healing, is quashed by a society that doesn’t want to hear and doesn’t understand.”

Barbara Horak Real Abortion Stories: The Hurting and the Healing (El Paso, Texas: Strive for the Best Publishing, 2007) 79, 81-82

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Abortion clinic: “don’t come back here” if you have a problem

A mother who accompanied her daughter to and abortion clinic described the “counseling” they gave – and their command not to return to the clinic if she had complications.

“A middle-aged woman called Sheri’s name and we followed her into a small room in the back corner office with a messy desk and two chairs. As we sat down, she introduced herself as the counselor. She verified Sheri’s name, birthday, and the date of her last period. She explained with an expressionless, mundane attitude that the “termination” might be a little uncomfortable and she recommended “a little something to take the edge off.” She said that a bit of cramping and bleeding is to be expected. If the bleeding became more like hemorrhaging, however, go to the Emergency Room, “Don’t come back here.” This apparent lack of professional responsibility was a little unsettling. She was rather emphatic and repeats, “Don’t come back here if you have complications. Go to the nearest hospital. And follow up with your doctor in two or three days.”

I thought counseling is defined as some sort of wise advice or guidance, information and recommendation, or at the very least, options. But, in this case, I guess I was wrong. The counseling session was over. Sheri was ushered to a treatment room, alone, without me.”

Teri Stanton Two Minus One: Our Abortion Story (Meadville, PA: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc., 2016) 36 – 37

The fact that the clinic did not want to bother with women who had complications and would rather dump them at the emergency room is disturbing.

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Lunatic Christians should have rescued me

This story is from a teenager who was pressured into abortion by her boyfriend, who came with her to make sure she went through with it. Sitting in the abortion clinic about to have an abortion against her will, she wished that some “crazed, lunatic Christians” would come and save her.

“After we parked, a man on the sidewalk tried to talk to us, but Jerry yelled at him to leave us alone. We entered through a metal detector and up some stairs to the waiting room.

We waited for hours in a cramped room with about 30 other women. One woman sat next to me and declared loudly to her friend, “I already have one son. That’s enough.” It made me sad to think how callous these people were – workers and patients alike. I wanted so badly for some “crazed, lunatic Christians” to storm the doors and rescue me. But they didn’t come.

I went into an office for a pregnancy test, and they confirmed that I was pregnant. A nurse told me it could be a tubal pregnancy, which would kill me, and how, because I was so young, I could die giving birth if I carried to term. I learned later that these statements were not true. I think this was a scare tactic, so I would have an abortion…

I expected the doctor to be a nice person who would take pity on me. I asked if it would hurt and he said, “It’s gonna hurt a lot more if you go through labor!” As he spoke, he didn’t look directly at me, and he seemed irritated.

I felt like I didn’t have a choice. My boyfriend wasn’t going to let me leave until I went through with it.…

My baby’s life ended that overcast April day.”

Barbara Horak Real Abortion Stories: The Hurting and the Healing (El Paso, Texas: Strive for the Best Publishing, 2007) 25

Read about coerced abortions

Teenager tries to convince herself that her unborn baby is a parasite

A teenager who was being pressured to abort by her boyfriend and his mother told herself her baby was just a parasite:

“On Friday morning, I muffled my sobs in the shower. I jabbed my belly with my finger and called my baby a parasite, trying to distance myself from what I was about to do. My heart wasn’t in those words, but I knew if I was going to do this, I had to do everything I could to keep my mind from envisioning a little face that would never be.”

Barbara Horak Real Abortion Stories: The Hurting and the Healing (El Paso, Texas: Strive for the Best Publishing, 2007) 24

She later deeply regretted the abortion.

Read about abortion’s psychological aftermath

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Selective reduction patient mourns her lost baby

A woman who had In Vitro Fertilization done and conceived four babies had a “selective reduction” where one baby was aborted. A pro-choice therapist asked her some questions:

“Did you feel like you got enough emotional support during the pregnancy reduction?”

“No, not really. Mostly because the people we talked to mainly were doctors and medical people and they were all coming from the point of view that it was dangerous medically to carry that many babies….but because that was the only side I was getting, I wished later that I’d known I had more of a choice to keep all four…I felt like there was a whole emotional piece missing….and also no one ever said we could consider keeping all four and I think now, why wasn’t that an option?…I’m not blaming anyone; I just wish I’d had another point of view to consider.”

Twins, a pregnancy where a selective reduction might be done

The therapist then asked:

“And did you – I know this might be a difficult question to answer – but how did you decide which one to reduce? Did you leave it up to the doctor?”

“Yes. They really just…picked the smallest baby,” she said, her voice choking, beginning to cry. “I’m really feeling the loss now, because…that little one…just because it was little, you know…lost its life.”

Kim Kluger-Bell Unspeakable Losses: Healing from Miscarriage, Abortion, and Other Pregnancy Loss (New York: Harper, 1998) 94-95

Other women who have undergone selective reduction say they regret aborting one baby every time they look at the surviving babies.. They will always wonder what the other baby would’ve been like.

Selective reduction is usually done by injecting poison into the heart of the baby being aborted, killing him or her. When the woman goes to term, she gives birth to her living babies as well as the dead one.

Selective reduction is often done in cases of in vitro fertilization when multiple embryos are placed inside the woman. Because many embryos from IVF fail to implant, doctors often place multiple embryos in the womb to increase the odds of a viable pregnancy. Sometimes this leads to more than the desired number of children growing in the womb. Specialists then pressure women to abort one or more babies to increase the chances that the others survive to term. In reality, if there are three babies, selective reduction to one only increases the odds of a healthy birth slightly.

Selective reduction is also done on request when a woman is pregnant with twins or triplets but wants only one baby.

Watch videos on abortion procedures here (no graphic pictures)

Read about the emotional consequences of abortion on women

Raising Multiples community: Support for parents with multiple children

Fetal development

Considering abortion? talk to someone

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I thought of my child as a “bunch of cells”

6 1/2-week-old human embryo – baby. Not a bunch of cells — 6 1/2-week-old human embryo – baby. Most abortions are done at this time or later

One woman who had an abortion knew that she was pregnant with a child, but tried to convince herself it was just a bunch of cells:

“My whole world fell in around me as I tried to make the hardest decision I have ever faced. I had always said I didn’t want children. But there was a child growing inside me. My child….I tried every way possible not to think of it that way. I told myself it was nothing but a bunch of cells. It was just an accident I had to deal with.”

Quoted in JivinJehoshaphat

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Postabortion woman: something between us died

From a woman after her abortion:

“I wished for a peaceful and stable relationship, which I don’t believe I will find with my present partner. It feels like something between us has died.”

Vivian Wahlberg Memories After Abortion (Oxford: Radcliffe Publishing, 2007) 37

Researcher David Reardon has found that 50% of relationships break up soon after an abortion. Other studies put the number at 70%.

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