Woman unhappy about being pregnant comes to love baby

A woman who wanted to have an abortion but changed her mind at the last minute didn’t think she could love her baby. She was unhappy about being pregnant. However, after her baby was born, her feelings changed. She says:

“I was definitely NOT happy about being pregnant. I didn’t want to be anyone’s mom. I went home feeling trapped. I knew I couldn’t go through with an abortion, but I did NOT want a baby. …I sometimes wished that I would die, get hit by a car. Anything to be out of this situation. This was truly the worst thing that could have ever happened to me… or, so I thought……

I worried a lot during the course of my pregnancy that I would not love my child because I did not want her. I agonized over what kind of mother I would be. …

Finally, the big day arrived. I went into labor and accompanied by my mom and boyfriend, checked into the hospital. Seeing our baby girl, Taylor, for the first time melted our hearts. Oh, the joy, the love, welled up inside of us both. She was a perfect, easy baby and we were absolutely crazy in love with her. All of my fears and reservations melted away the minute I laid eyes on her. Twenty years later, I can still say she was the beginning of everything good in my life. Her arrival ushered in an era of blessings that continues to this day. She is a treasure. How wrong I was to think she was anything but a precious gift.

When she was three months old, her dad and I got married. We have been married for 20 years and have three other children, ages 17, 11, and 7. They are each a treasure and a blessing in their own right, none of whom would exist had I ended my first pregnancy. Words will always fail to express the true depth of my gratitude that my inner voice would not be silenced that day in the abortion facility…..

I can’t think of a single woman who regrets having her child, but there is NO shortage of women who regret their abortions. There is always a better option than abortion. It is NEVER the answer.”

22 years ago, my daughter survived her abortion appointment” Live Action News September 1, 2017

Share on Facebook

Father presses partner to abort, is later glad she didn’t

The following story about a man who demanded his partner abort his baby appeared in Make Me Your Choice by Cheryl Chew:

“When I shared the news [of the pregnancy] with Ray that evening, he couldn’t believe my words. His first reaction and remark was: “What! That doctor is stupid. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He can’t be right. Possibly the pregnancy kit could be wrong. Von, go to another doctor and get a second opinion.”

My man was very angry and emotionally upset. Ray didn’t think he was ready for a child, and he said, “What are you gonna do about it? Are you going to get rid of it?”

I told him, “If anyone has to go, it has to be you!” At that time I had been with Ray for 17 years.

He grew very quiet and finally responded, “Von, if you want this baby, then you will have to be 100% responsible for it!” He was 50 years old at the time, and he felt he was too old to have children…

Five weeks before the baby was born, we hired a nanny…. The day when Avalon was born, Ray held her in his large arms. As she put her tiny, precious head upon his neck, he fell instantly in love with her.

Three days after our return home from the hospital, Ray fired the nanny and took over the complete care of our baby while I went back to work in my salon for weeks later!

Avalon is a true miracle. She has added so much joy and love to our lives. We give her 1000 kisses a day, and thank God daily for her. When Avalon was a year old, I mentioned to Ray, “Just picture life without Avalon. If I had been a weak person and let you coerce me into having an abortion, we wouldn’t have Avalon now.”

Ray replied, “I don’t even want to think about it!” Tears rolled down his face as he envisioned what life would’ve been like without Avalon if I had given in to him.”

Cheryl Chew Make Me Your Choice (Shippensburg, PA: Destiny Image Publishers, 2006) 90-91

How many men who tell their partners to abort would come around after the baby was born?

abort
Preborn baby, 8 months in the womb
Share on Facebook

Woman goes to abortion clinic, leaves at the last moment

A woman who went to an abortion clinic to abort her baby tells her story:

“I took a good friend with me, as well as my boyfriend. It was a three hour drive to Houston and no one said much. As we neared the abortion facility protesters with large, grotesque signs came into view. I averted my eyes. I had a sick feeling as I sought to push away the reality of what I was about to do.

Once in the facility, I checked in and my boyfriend and friend sat down with magazines….

There were so many women there of every age, race, and seemingly socio-economic class. We were grouped together as we made our way through the process. At one point, I was given an ultrasound, and the tech matter-of-factly declared, “5 weeks.” Then it was on to group “counseling.” A young woman explained the process and then opened the floor to questions. I knew the answer to mine before I even asked, “Is it alive?” The response was, “It’s a clump of villi.” It was what I wanted and needed to hear, but I knew better.

Then it was back to the waiting room where we all sat until we were called, one by one, to do the actual procedure. I was struck by the tea party like atmosphere. Most women chatted seemingly nonchalantly. At one point, a woman tapped her foot impatiently, glanced at her watch and said, “How long is this going to take, I have stuff to do.” I was shocked, and wondered to myself, “Does she not have any idea of the significance of what she’s about to do?” A pretty brunette suddenly offered, “My husband keeps saying we’re going out tonight. He just doesn’t get it.” She told us she was 13 weeks pregnant and had a three year old daughter. Again, all I could think was, “You’re married with a child, why are you here?”

I found myself talking to a woman to next to me. At 38, she was older than most of us. Inexplicably, I began trying to convince her that she could do it, raise her baby. She gave me all the reasons why she couldn’t.

Out of all of us present in our group that day, there was only one woman who, in my view, was having the appropriate response. She never stopped crying, never made eye contact with anyone, never spoke. She just sat there, curled up in a fetal position, as she stared off into space, and wept.

One by one we were called. I sat there, stomach churning, knowing in my heart of hearts that this was SO wrong. I had not been able to quiet that inner voice that kept gently telling me, “No, you must not do this.” I argued back and forth with that voice. It was so gentle, so serene, but also very persistent. My name was called. I got up and made my way to the table. “Take everything off below the waist and lay on the table, feet in the stirrups.” I reached for my pants.

I hesitated. I stood frozen. The nurse noticed my reaction and advised me to go back to the waiting room and let a few more go ahead of me, until I felt more ready. Ready never came. When I was called a second time, the same thing happened. The nurse looked at me and said, “You don’t really want to be here.” I replied, “Does anybody really want to be here?”

She told me I was early and had lots of time to come back. Plenty of time. I knew I was walking out of that place and NEVER going back.”

22 years ago, my daughter survived her abortion appointmentLive Action News September 1, 2017

Share on Facebook

Post-abortion woman becomes pro-choice, later calls her abortion “bad”

Pro-Choice author Cara J. Marianna interviewed women who had abortions. She tells the story of Nancy. In Nancy’s words:

“I was thinking about being pro-choice. Before the abortion, I was never actively outspoken pro-choice, but I think I felt more and more pro-choice afterward. I remember a year later, in June, I went back home. I’d graduated in December and my mom sold me her old car and I drove it out. I remember I had found this cool pro-choice bumper sticker and I put it on the car. I was so proud of it. It was the message, ‘A world of wanted children would make a world of difference.’ So it wasn’t like ‘I’m pro-choice and proud of it.'”

Nancy later became pro-life and regretted her abortion

“In looking back on her experience, Nancy said, ‘It was pretty bad, the lack of counseling and the doctor. They were just ready to do it. Well, that’s to be expected, though.”

Cara J. Marianna Abortion: A Collective Story (Westport, CT: Praeger, 2002) 129

Even though Nancy had a bad experience, she became pro-choice to justify her abortion. How many pro-choice women are using similar reasoning?

Share on Facebook

The abortion clinic never suggested alternatives

A woman who tried to abort her baby twice and was later glad the abortions failed (read her story here)  wrote about how clinic workers never suggested any other option to her. There was, apparently, no counselling at the abortion facility she went to. She says:

“What I saw at that private clinic also totally shocked me. I expected to see young girls on their own waiting in the abortion clinic. Instead it was like a cattle market – full of women of all ages – many with their husbands and partners encouraging them to go through with it.

I couldn’t help wondering why all of these women – many seemingly in relationships – were ending their pregnancies.… although the staff at the clinic were lovely, no one even suggested there may be a different way forward.”

Allison Smith-Squire “I tried twice to abort my baby – but I’m delighted I failed” Daily Mail July 2, 2007

Share on Facebook

Woman regrets aborting baby with TRISOMY 13

A woman who was told her baby could not survive had an abortion, then came to regret it deeply. Here is her story:

“The news came via a phone call. TRISOMY 13,that was the result. We went straight to the doctor’s surgery where we were given more information. The long and the short of it was that with trisomy 13 the organs and basically everything else do not form properly. My baby had no chance of survival…

My heart ached and my mind was a blur, my body numb. My beautiful, precious baby. We had wanted another child and we thought we were blessed to fall pregnant so quickly. Our heads were swimming with medical terms, odds and facts. Our only thought was of our child being in pain and we wanted to stop the suffering. Our decision was to terminate the pregnancy…

[After the abortion] life around me went on as normal. We told people we had lost the baby, as everyone knew that I was pregnant. Conversations replayed in my head like reruns of television shows. Then the nightmares began. Every night my two little children died in my dreams in every imaginable way… I cried all day and all night. I wanted my baby back. What had I done?

I wished we had made another choice. I had wanted to keep my baby boy and hold him in my arms even if he died. My husband disagreed. He felt that we had made the right decision even though it had been very hard. It was here that we somehow lost each other. For the first time in our life together we did not share the same opinion on something that really mattered. I felt my life spinning out of control. I couldn’t and didn’t sleep. I had no patience with the children. I cried all the time and I found myself wishing that I were dead just to stop the constant aching in my heart…

I began to see a counselor (Anne) a month or two after Joshua’s life ended. It has helped and it has also helped my husband and I work through this together even though we do not share the same views. He still believes that we made the right decision for our son but I know in my heart that things should have been different.

Now I have to face life without my precious Joshua, never having seen him, touched him, never having held him in my arms even once. I have to live with having no ending with him, no funeral and no grave to visit. Almost as if he never existed. I have to wake up each morning and look at myself in the mirror and know that I had a choice and I/we made the wrong choice and took the wrong path. I thought it was the easier path, the best choice but it turned out to be exactly the opposite.”

Anne R Lastman Redeeming Grief: Abortion and Its Pain (Balwyn, Vic: Australia: Gracewing, 2013) 156 – 158

Share on Facebook

Professional counselors fail to help post-abortion woman

One woman tells her abortion story, and writes about how mainstream mental health professionals failed to help her:

“After the abortion I woke up and was staring at a brick wall. I had never felt so dirty and disgusted with myself…

My life from that moment changed for the worse. I would drink myself to a point of hospitalization and each time I was admitted I would talk about the abortion. The doctors and nurses would tell me I needed to see someone about my issues. They couldn’t even say the word “abortion” to me. In one admission I wasn’t allowed to leave the hospital as they had fears for my safety. They had me speak with a psychiatrist before I left and he said I was fine and I seemed to be overreacting to the abortion and my work was the real issue. I looked blank at him and thought I’m just going to tell you what you want to hear so I can leave.

I spoke with many counselors, nurses, psychologists and psychiatrists and none of them understood me. In my mind no one could help me get through the anguish of having had an abortion.

I drank to excess at every opportunity… I knew the reason behind all the self-destructive behavior was the abortion, and I thought that’s all my life was going to amount to. I was so angry at my now ex-partner, abortion clinic and most of all myself for allowing this abortion to affect me so badly that I would deliberately put myself into positions to danger…

She went to a counselor who specialized in post-abortion healing and finally found peace:

I now have a plaque on a beautiful memorial at a church in Melbourne. This finally gave me some closure.

It’s only since I have acknowledged her and giving her a name that I’ve been able to move on. The memory will always remain.”

Anne R Lastman Redeeming Grief: Abortion and Its Pain (Balwyn, Vic: Australia: Gracewing, 2013) 210 – 211

Share on Facebook

Abortionist refuses to answer woman’s question

One woman who had an abortion asked the abortionist a question that he refused to answer:

haunted
Ultrasound of first trimester child

“I always wondered, you know. I asked if it was a boy or a girl. He said, ‘Why would you want to know?’ He wouldn’t tell me if they could know. But he said, ‘Why would you want to know? It doesn’t make a difference.’ So it was a shut-down question. The feeling was, ‘You don’t need to know.’

Cara J. Marianna Abortion: A Collective Story (Westport, CT: Praeger, 2002) 66

Share on Facebook

Woman has nightmares after her abortions

The testimony of Hannah, who had three abortions. She had children she had given birth to and was raising, and she feared that something terrible would happen to these living children as divine punishment for her killing the other three:

“[N]ow I started to have nightmares and the nightmares were about dying and dead babies and I kept jumping off mountains into darkness and I also started to think that something awful was going to happen to my children. I always thought that someone was going to kill my children… Also I started to cry a lot… I also realized that that [sic] I never could think about the abortion. I would never let myself think about [it]. Every time a thought of anything about abortion or anything in the radio or television or papers I would turn it off and I could not listen or read about it. I remember one day at the office where I worked as a part-time clerk …girls were whispering and talking quietly about another girl who was away for the day and it turned out that she had gone to have an abortion and when I heard this I started to cry and couldn’t stop. The others thought that I was like this because I had a headache (that’s what I said) but the truth was that for the first time I cried about the word abortion. After that time I kept away from the word.…

My life changed slowly but I never once associated my sadness, erratic behavior, uncontrollable crying, depression and unknown fear as being related to the abortion…

For me the triggering memory of the abortion was the birth of my best friend’s baby. I suddenly remembered never having a little girl and having always wanted a little girl and I remember saying that maybe I did have a little girl but that I’d killed her and that’s why God couldn’t trust me with more children or baby girls…

The regret is part of what I have to live with… Christmas is especially difficult because for some reason I seem to remember more strongly. When I look at the set Christmas table I remember that there should be other children there.… Today they are not sitting at their place at the table. For this I am so sorry.”

Anne R Lastman Redeeming Grief: Abortion and Its Pain (Balwyn, Vic: Australia: Gracewing, 2013) 243 – 244, 246

 

Share on Facebook

Abortionist refuses to tell woman the sex of her baby

A woman asked her abortionist whether the baby was a boy or a girl:

“I always wondered, you know. I asked if it was a boy or a girl. He said, ‘Why would you want to know?’ He wouldn’t tell me if they could know. But he said, ‘Why would you want to know? It doesn’t make a difference.’ So it was a shut-down question. The feeling was, ‘You don’t need to know.’

Cara J. Marianna Abortion: A Collective Story (Westport, CT: Praeger, 2002) 66

Share on Facebook