Category: Women and Abortion Regret

Kim C Flodin, pro-choice freelance writer, who had 2 abortions:

“I say, despite the blood and the grief, I’d do it all over again – even though it makes me immeasurably sad and I still choke a little when I remember the dream boy on the beach [her second “son,” as she imagined him.]

But I still cannot find the guts to march for choice. My friends, even those privy to my past, think it’s circumstantial – the marches always seem to be poorly scheduled for my busy life. But I know that in the end I can barely stomach the politics of this debate. Though I understand its necessity, I hate sloganeering. I hate it because I cannot reduce my complicated set of emotions to the boldface type of the placard.”

Kim C Flodin “Why I Don’t March” Newsweek, February 12, 1990 P8

Quoted in F LaGard Smith When Choice Becomes God (Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 1990) 68 – 69

 

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A pro-choice author (who herself had an abortion) interviewed post-abortion women for a book she wrote.  She says:

Hormones cannot explain how, long after the procedure, feelings about one’s abortion can reappear with the slightest stimulation. Many women are distressed to find themselves bursting into tears when some event reminds them of their abortions. One twenty-three-year-old, who had an abortion 2 years ago, describes how disconcerting it can be for strong feelings to crash in at inopportune times. She says, “For 5 months, seeing women with babies really upset me. Sometimes I would cry. Crying when you don’t want to and you’re like “Geez, I wish this didn’t happen here.”

Eve Kushner Experiencing Abortion: A Weaving of Women’s Words (Binghamton, New York: The Haworth Press, 1997) 10

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“Kris Bercov, a Florida therapist who states that abortions are “sacrifices we make for our own selves,” nevertheless admits that abortion hurts women. In her self–published book “The Good Mother,” she proposes a farewell ceremony for the aborted child that includes coming to grief with the pain caused by the abortion and giving the child a name. Says Bercov, “women are good, we love our children – even sometimes the ones we abort.”

“Prochoicer Admits Abortion Hurts Women” the American Feminist Vol 1 No 1, Summer 1994

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A social worker from Portland, Oregon, who works at a counseling and referral center:

“Most women when they have an abortion don’t really know what they are doing – they are either so young, so ignorant, or so frightened… Down the line, 5, 6, or 7 years when they have children, some kind of trauma almost always comes up… And down the line, most women do think of the aborted fetus as a living being, as a baby.”

Maggie Gallagher Enemies of Eros (Chicago, IL: Bonus Books Inc. 1989) in David L Bender and Bruno Leone Abortion: Opposing Viewpoints (San Diego, CA: Greenhaven Press, 1991) 59

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 “Each post-abortive woman is unique, … but most women no matter the degree of acknowledgement live with the deep secret that she has had an abortion. She will judge herself, feeling guilty, ashamed, measure how people treat her by her view of herself, hating what she did and believing she doesn’t deserve a future or there will be a payback time for the decision she made.”

Margaret Cuthill, a post-abortion counselor

Hilary White, “Abortion can kick-start ‘vicious cycle’ of repeat pregnancies, abortions: UK expert,” 6/4/12

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From a clinic worker:

“I’ve taken up to one hour and a half if the patient needs it – the people at the front desk don’t love it if I do that too often, but if I have to, I do. I just had a patient today that took a really long time. It was a post abortion – she was crying, feeling really guilty. The doctor really scared her; I had to act as her advocate.”

Carole Joffe The Regulation of Sexuality: Experiences of Family-Planning Workers (Philadelphia: Temple University Press, 1986) 86

In actuality, most clinics either offer no counseling or counseling that consists only of a short session of telling a group of women about the abortion process (not in too much detail of course) and offering to answer questions. Even in cases where clinic workers want to give more counseling, there is pressure on them to make it short.

Some clinics do offer post-abortion counseling. This woman was obviously very troubled by her abortion, feeling guilty and upset. I wonder what the counselor told her? probably, like most pro-abortion counselors, she was told that aborting her baby was perfectly fine and she should not feel guilty.

Perhaps she should have gotten more in depth counseling BEFORE her abortion, not after the fact.

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