Category: Women and Abortion Regret

The pro-life group Heartbeats conducted a survey of post-abortive women. They asked the women what they experienced after their abortion(s).

• 92% experience an emotional deadening, either feeling less in touch with their emotions or feeling a “need to stifle their emotions.”
• 86% have an increased tendency toward anger or rage (48% reported they became more violent when angered).
• 86% fear others learning of the abortion, and have a greater sense of fear in general.
• 82% feel intense feelings of loneliness or isolation.
• 75% said they are less self-confident.
• 73% indicate some sexual dysfunction (increased pain during intercourse, promiscuity, rigidity, or loss of pleasure).
• 63% experience denial, the average period of denial that they reported was 5.25 years.
• 58% have insomnia or nightmares.
• 57% have difficulty in maintaining or developing relationships.
• 56% experience suicidal feelings.
• 53% increased or began using drugs and/or alcohol to deaden the pain.
• 39% reported eating disorders that began after the abortion.
• 28% attempted suicide.

Wayne Mcghie The Right to Choose (2022) 40 – 41

One pro-choice woman, who suffers emotional trauma after her abortion, wrote:

“…for too long society and the medical profession have ­denied any negative aspects of abortion. That’s not helpful to those trying to navigate the aftermath of abortion.…

The first step, surely, is giving this issue credence. Having heavily edited conversations to make sense of a narrative often means a silent elephant in the room. This is one of those times.

It is one of those crucial conversations that silence isn’t helping.

This is an Achilles heel in society — and it’s time to start listening.”

Corrine Barraclough “Corrine Barraclough: The secret grief of abortion” The Daily Telegraph September 30, 2017

According to pro-choice author Miriam Claire, who wrote an entire book defending abortion:

“Some women are surprised by the depth of their feelings of loss after an abortion, and they assume responsibility for this grief through a sense of guilt, because their choice to have an abortion brought about the loss.”

Miriam Claire The Abortion Dilemma: Personal Views on a Public Issue (Xlibris Corporation, 2013) 20

Psychotherapist Mira Dana, who worked with post-abortive women for almost 20 years:

“Why would you feel sadness or loss about something you wanted to get rid of? On the surface it looks like a contradiction… The fact that it was your decision which caused the loss does not allow space for mourning.”

Miriam Claire The Abortion Dilemma: Personal Views on a Public Issue (Xlibris Corporation, 2013) 19

Sally Thompson, who works at a pregnancy resource center counseling abortion-minded women and post-abortive women:

“I would sometimes ask my clients to explain to me what an abortion is. I always heard, “It’s terminating a pregnancy, it’s killing or murdering a baby.” Those are harsh words but revealing answers. If it has a heartbeat, it’s alive, and if we do anything to make that heartbeat stop, it’s death.

Some women who have had abortions think because they willfully walked into the abortion clinic and asked for the abortion, it’s called murder. Some have even said, “I killed my baby.”

What makes it so hard for women who have had abortions is that one day reality will set in.

Getting the revelation that you chose to bring death to your child and family member can take years to digest… The support of others is much needed because, like many women, when reality hits it is devastating.

Many women have stated they stayed in domestic violence situations because they thought they deserved to be there after an abortion. Others believed God was punishing them for having an abortion. Having an abortion is very traumatizing for women.”

Sally Thompson and LaQuita Maxey The Aftermath: Stories of God’s Grace and Freedom after Abortion (Storytellers, LLC, 2021) 10

Mira Dana, a psychotherapist at the Women’s Therapy Centre in London, who has spent 20 years working with post-abortive women, says:

“There are three general reactions women display after an abortion and on coming home from the hospital.

(1) Euphoria…an expression of the feeling of relief and freedom at having solved a problem, having got rid of a burden, and having executed a decisive action. They will feel strong and powerful and in control of their lives. They will feel the need to laugh and have a good time… [and] keep excessively busy…

Feelings of loss, anger [and] guilt are of no relevance for them at this period… These emotions are bound to come later, sometimes even months or years later, sometimes in a disguised form, apparently with no connection to having had an abortion…

(2) Detachment – Some women will experience a sense of “shock”…numbness inside. They will go on doing ordinary activities they are used to doing, but with a sense of detachment, distance…unreality.

This detachment is an attempt to avoid experiencing the painful feelings connected to the termination… She may feel an inner emptiness…

(3) Depression – Some women get into a state of depression which could be described as a general sense of hopelessness and diffused (unfocused) feeling of blackness…feeling bad about yourself and your life and your environment, but without actually knowing what it is – a state of no specific emotion but this “darkness”… Feelings of worthlessness…and that nothing is of much importance…

Fear of Sexuality… Many women need time after an abortion before they feel relaxed and able to have sexual relationships again because they fear another abortion…

Ambivalence – not only about having a baby. There are many issues in a woman’s life about which she may be equally confused but which get “hooked” on the one issue of having a baby…

Envy – Often women feel envious of other women who have babies after the termination… Some women will refrain from visiting their friends who have newborn babies as they feel it is too painful to be with them.”

Miriam Claire The Abortion Dilemma: Personal Views on a Public Issue (Xlibris Corporation, 2013) 15 – 16

From an Australian social worker identified as Penny:

“I have seen women make this decision dozens of times. I had even seen some of them suffer afterwards, but I always firmly believed it was because of their religious conflict or some radical pro-life guilt trip.

I never in a million years believed that their grief or sorrow was real, or that their beliefs that they felt pressured were genuine.”

Dr. Debbie Garratt, PhD Alarmist Gatekeeping: Abortion (2021) v

While arguing against unrestricted abortion, British pro-life politician John Corrie said in 1979:

“I have received many letters from unhappy women. Many of them bitterly regret having had their abortion and express in their letters the importance of counselling. If only they had known what it all entailed, they would not have gone through with the abortion.”

Fran Amery Beyond Pro-Life and Pro-Choice: The Changing Politics of Abortion in Britain (Bristol: Bristol University Press, 2020) 89