Category: Sexual Assault Victims

Woman Who Was Raped and Had an Abortion Speaks Out

A woman who was raped and had an abortion now regrets it and wants people to stop using rape as an argument to keep abortion legal. She spoke in a pro-life rally in Mississippi.

“I was raped a month before I turned 18. And because of that rape I was so fearful and so shameful that I chose abortion, out of fear. My rape was nothing compared to what I did to my child. What my rapist did to me does not compare to what I chose to do to my baby. My rapist didn’t kill me, I’m standing here alive right now. I have three beautiful children at home and a husband who loves me. But I chose to kill my child out of the shame, out of guilt, out of fear because of what a man did to me. Rape is no excuse for abortion. I want to say that.… Rape, I’m not a victim, I’m not a victim anymore, I’m a survivor. I’m a mother of a child who I aborted who, thank the Lord, is in heaven – and because of Jesus Christ, I’ll be with that child again – and I pray for my rapist every day… But I’m tired, as a person who was raped in a person who had an abortion, I’m telling you right now, I’m tired of using rape as an excuse.… For years I lived in depression, contemplated suicide, attempted suicide, I spend years drinking to numb the pain, to numb the horrific nightmares, was later diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder, not just because of the rape but because of the abortion. I was done with my rape, I was trying to conceive how in the world like I could choose to kill my child. How could I not be strong enough. Who was gonna speak for me as an 18-year-old girl who didn’t have a family to support her. No one did… We have got to speak up, it’s not just about the babies, it’s about the moms like me who think they’re making a good decision but they’re not.”

For the full testimony, watch the video. Religious beliefs expressed in testimonies are not endorsed by clinicquotes.

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Incest Victim Tells of her Trip to Planned Parenthood

Here is a story from a victim of incest who opposes abortion in cases of rape and incest:

She was abused by her brother and also by an older friend of the family. Here is her story in her own words:

“About three or four months after the abuse began, I was late for a period. I told my brother this, and he informed me that I “should’ve made guy wear a rubber, you idiot.” [Referring to the family friend’s abuse] I did not know what a “rubber” was, or where it was worn, or why. All I knew was that if you did not have periods, you were pregnant. And if you are pregnant, you’re in trouble.

….

[She describes going to her Sunday school teacher for help, who directed her to Planned Parenthood]

So my older brother took me to Planned Parenthood.

I had never been to a doctor without my mother, and I had never had a gynecological exam. The whole visit was terrifying. No one explained anything. I was examined, gave urine and blood samples, and was shown a chart of an egg going around a big circle marked by days of the month. I was asked questions like “frequency of intercourse?” And “method of birth control preferred?” I did not know what intercourse meant, so I just said “a lot,” and I had no idea what birth control methods existed. No one asked who my “partner” was, nor expressed any dismay, concern, or even interest that a 12-year-old girl needed a pregnancy test.

I heard a lot about “being responsible” and “taking control of my body.” Someone gave me a handful of condoms on the way out, and made a joke about being an assortment – red, blue, and yellow. The yellow ones were called Tinglers. I stuffed them in my purse, and threw them away later.

My older brother maintained a strong silence throughout the entire time – no one asked him a single question.

Two days later I received a phone call telling me the test was positive, and to come in the following Saturday morning with a sanitary napkin and a friend who could drive. The caller never used the word “pregnant” or “abortion.” I did not keep that appointment; my period started that evening.

The sexual abuse ended a couple of months later, as the family friend moved away my older brother began to abuse two younger neighborhood children instead.

It was not until three years later that I discovered, in a high school biology class, that you cannot get pregnant from oral sexual contact. I also found out what intercourse was, and that I’d never had it.

I remember the feeling of horror that came over me as I realized that I’d been scheduled for abortion.…

Over the years, I found that my story is very common in two aspects… The first is the fact that my experience with Planned Parenthood was not an aberration. The sexual attitude often championed by Planned Parenthood is a serious factor in preventing the discovery of sexual abuse of young people. Had anyone shown even the least bit of disapproval or concern, I would have divulged the truth and begged for help. Everyone around me seemed to accept as normal that a 12-year-old girl could and should be sexually active (so long as she is responsible – remember the “rainbow”!)” And remember to who took me to Planned Parenthood – an older brother with an urgent interest in my being aborted! Abortion on demand, no questions asked, makes it easier for incest and child abuse to continue. Abortion for incest victims sounds compassionate, but in practice it is simply another violent, deceptive tool in the hand of the abuser.

The other unhappy aspect of this situation is that incest, rape, and child abuse are far more common than most pro-lifers want to admit….

Abortion defenders need to realize that while abortion may keep one of the results of incest and sexual abuse from seeing the light of day it does absolutely nothing to protect a young girl from continued abuse, and, in fact aids the abuser and his crime. Furthermore, birth control counseling and abortion often indirectly contribute to the victim’s sense of shame, guilt, and blame for what is happening, since she is told to “take control” and “be responsible” for her “sexual activity,” implying that this situation is, indeed, within her power to control.”

Rachel McNair, Mary Krane Derr, and Linda Naranjo-Hubbl. Pro-Life Feminism: Yesterday and Today (New York: Sulzburger & Graham Publishing, Ltd.) 262-263

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Joyce Ann McCauley-Benner and her Testimony

When Joyce Ann McCauley-Benner became pregnant, she didn’t know if the father was her boyfriend or the man who raped her. This is her story:

 

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Rape Crisis Counselor Speaks Out

Joan Kemp, who counsels women who are victims of rape and incest, says the following:

“I am familiar with no case of incest related abortion that did not make matters worse for the victim.”

“What about Rape and Incest?” Human Life Alliance Advertising Supplement 2012

Read testimonies of women who were raped and became pregnant here

unborn baby – can you tell whether she has been conceived by rape or not?
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Rape Victim has Traumatic Abortion

One patient, Ellen Hamilton, who had an abortion because she was raped, said she was more traumatized by the abortion. According to Danielle Capelli with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation on a NPR All Things Considered segment April 3, 1992,  Abortions without Anesthesia at Canadian Hospital.

“She was sent over to Yellowknife, and she had–she was told that no anesthesia would be used because it wasn’t necessary; that general anesthesia was dangerous–that it would cause bleeding–and that local anesthesia wasn’t needed because it would only cause minor discomfort and the procedure would be over in a couple of minutes. In fact, she found it excruciatingly painful. She said she was strapped down to the table, held down by a number of nurses, including one male member of the staff at the hospital who had to come in and help hold her down. She said she was screaming and writhing in pain; she was begging the doctor to stop. The doctor was yelling at her, saying, ‘You’re only making it worse, stop moving,’ and refused to stop; he just kept going. “


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Rape Victim Gives Her Opinion on Abortion and Planned Parenthood

A woman who was raped speaks out:

“We are so under represented in the media…..but we might have to fight back with brutal honesty to show up the lies.

I was raped, suppressed it and a growing belly for 7 months, had a baby girl, and placed her for adoption. If you hear anyone use the stupid line again, “well what if you were raped, then why should you have to carry to term a baby?” Pleas [sic] refer them to me! I’m sick of them persuading people on stuff they don’t even bother asking a real woman that has been through it …Why do they assume automatically women can’t handle it? Two wrongs don’t make a right. I am so mad at the abortion industry, I can’t explain it. It’s just that they would made it so easy for me to walk in the door and kill my daughter that first day I found out I was pregnant (without telling my parents or anyone first) luckily I didn’t thanks to God taking over. My opinion on everything changed full over after just a few days of letting the fact that this is a little life, sink in. But they made it so easy for me to kill my daughter, and since she means the world to me today, this grudge isn’t going to ever go away until they are destroyed (the companies like planned parenthood…not the people destroyed)”

Women who conceived from Rape; Message to Pro-Life Blogs February 8, 2009

http://www.prolifeblogs.com/articles/archives/2009/02/abortion_after.php

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Rape Victim: before I Had Time to Think about What I Wanted, the Abortion Was Over

It was May 19, 1973. I was pregnant from a date rape. I had tried to hide it from my parents but of course they found out. Then the pressure started. “How are you going to go to college with a baby?” “How are you going to support it?” “It is only a blob of blood. It’s not a baby yet.” Before I had time to think about what I wanted, the abortion was over.

The abortion itself was like a living hell. I thought my guts were being pulled out. It was degrading and I was terrified. When it was over, something made me ask the doctor, “Was it a boy or a girl?” He answered, “I can’t tell. It’s in pieces.” The counseling consisted of throwing some birth control pills at me.

Its so hard to put into words how the abortion affected me. Looking back and knowing what I know now, I realize that I was going through almost classic Post-Abortion Syndrome. I became a tramp and slept with anyone and everyone. I engaged in unprotected sex and each month when I wasn’t pregnant I would go into a deep depression. I was rebellious. I wanted my parents to see what I had become. I dropped out of college. I tried suicide, but I didn’t have the guts to slit my wrists or blow my brains out. I couldn’t get my hands on sleeping pills, so I resorted to over the counter sleep aids and booze.

When that failed, I then tried to make relationships work with men, any man. I was driven with a need to have a child and knew if I was married my parents couldn’t do anything about it. Then I married in 1975. While my husband and I are still together, we have had to work extra hard because I married him for all the wrong reasons.

Five months after we were married my first child was born. I was in heaven. I doted on that baby. In three months, I was pregnant again. But this time we lost our baby at 6 months. Then the depression that I had conquered came back full force. I can remember thinking: “I deserve this pain. I killed a baby and now God has taken one from me. I deserve it.” The doctor felt that I had a weak cervix, a common aftereffect of abortion, and that the weight of the baby was too much for it and she just fell out. Four months later I was pregnant again.

It is hard to explain this need to keep having babies, but I did. From 1976 with the birth of my first living child, to 1985 at the birth of my fourth and final living child, I was pregnant a total of eight times. With the birth of my last child the doctor didn’t leave me any choice but to quit having children if I wanted to live to see the ones I had grow up.

In trying to deal with the abortion, I had to face what I had done and beg forgiveness from my God. The hardest thing of all is trying to forgive myself. It is a daily struggle to accept the forgiveness I know the Lord has given me. And I will never forget it. Only now I don’t want to forget it, because it keeps me from getting complacent. I know if it helps others, I can talk about it. It always makes me cry, but if it saves just one mom and baby the pain, it’s worth it.

I joined our local Right to Life and crisis pregnancy center. I have also had to forgive my parents. I can still remember when I walked into my Mom’s house and threw down a picture of an aborted fetus and snarled, “See what you made me do?” She has since become pro-life herself and has told me how sorry she is. I still have to fight against my anger at my Dad, because he still won’t admit the abortion was wrong, at least for me.

Do all these things help? That’s a hard one. Sometimes it does and sometimes the depression is too strong and time has to pass. Not a day goes by that the abortion doesn’t cross my mind. It is a constant struggle trying to overcome my guilt and depression, even knowing I have been forgiven. I dread the day when I have to come face to face with my little child and explain to her why mamma took her life. But I also think I am a softer, more caring person than I might have been. If not for the abortion, I might have turned out “pro-choice.”

Originally published in The PostAbortion Review 2(1) Winter 1993.

Elliot Institute, PO Box 7348, Springfield, IL 62791-7348

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Raped Woman Regrets Her Abortion

In August of 1988 I was 18 yrs old and just graduated from a career center and high school. I found out I was pregnant by a boy I knew from school. He was 2 years older with 2 children of his own he was not supporting. He beat and raped me the entire time I knew him.

Each time I tried to get away he would follow me and attack me again. In December of that year I was diagnosed with an infection. He was also a chronic drug user who infected me. I went to have the abortion and I saw plenty of young girls just like myself giving every excuse in the world why they did not want there future to be blocked because of a MISTAKE like this. Although I was attacked and given an infection, I knew I had a life inside of me. I tried to get him prosecuted, and put the baby up for adoption. I was told by my mother that I was disgusting, I should never expose my business by trying to let anyone know of the rape. I felt dirty and ashamed. The abortion took all of five minutes and I was not allowed to see anything that was extracted. I had a never ending pain in my lower abdomen ever since. I wanted so dearly for someone to talk to me about the alternatives but everyone in the clinic thought it was best I get the procedure. By the end of the day, my money was gone, I was still ill from the infection, and the dangerous father of the child is still at large. How I regret making those decisions as a lonely young girl who removed an innocent life from existence. It is 12 years later and I’m expecting with a wonderful husband and I also have a precious 8 year old son. I would absolutely consider adoption If was facing the same problems today. NEVER ABORTION

Tonya L.

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15 Year Old Incest Victim Fought Very Hard For Her Baby Prior To Forced Abortion

I am a victim of incest; one of the “hard cases” for abortion. I was raped by my father when I was fifteen years old. It was not the first time, nor would it be the last. However, this time, I became pregnant.

One night, I became very sick and my parents took me to the hospital. (I believe now that they knew I was pregnant since they took me to a different hospital than normal.) The emergency room doctor discovered that, along with a very bad case of the flu, I was 19 weeks pregnant.

My father flew into a rage, accusing me of all sorts of things, and demanding I have an abortion. The doctor informed me that I was pregnant and asked me what I wanted. I had seen the “Silent Scream” in high school religion class and knew that abortion was murder. In spite of the pain and guilt I felt, knowing who the father of the baby was, it was far better to have a baby than the alternative – to kill it. I refused to have an abortion.

My father flew into an uncontrollable rage and demanded that I consent to the abortion, or that the doctor do it with or without my permission. The doctor refused because of my wishes. My father demanded that an abortionist be found – regardless of the cost.

Within one hour, this man arrived at the hospital, talked with my parents and decided to do the abortion, without speaking to me. I refused and tried to get off the examining table. He then asked three nurses to hold me while he strapped me to the bed and injected me with a muscle relaxant to keep me from struggling while he prepared to kill my baby. I continued to scream that I didn’t want an abortion. He told me, “Shut up and quit that yelling!” Eventually, I was placed under general anesthesia and my child was brutally killed.

I was told that an abortion would solve my problem, when it was never really the problem in the first place.

I was told, “Your parents know what’s best,” when they obviously were only concerned about their own reputations.

I was told, “You make the right decision,” when I was never given a choice. More importantly, where was my baby’s choice?

I grieve every day for my daughter. I have struggled to forget the abuse and the abortion. I can do neither. All I think of is, “I should have done more, fought more, struggled more for the life of my child.”

My situation may not be common, but I know it’s not unique either. The emotions and problems I’ve had to deal with as a result of my abortion are common. The trauma of the rape and abuse were only intensified by the abortion. The guilt of knowing my baby is dead is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life.

I was violated and betrayed over and over by my father, who God created to love and protect me. I was humiliated, hurt, and yes, violated again by the abortionist.

Why do even pro-lifers talk about making exceptions for abortion in cases of rape and incest as if that is a way to have “compassion” for the mother? Why is this the only “loving” response to the situation? I have talked with pro-lifers who consider my abortion acceptable, under the circumstances. I want to tell people, “If you really want to be compassionate, give this mother the opportunity to choose life for her child. If you really love the mothers who have been victimized, don’t let them be exploited again by someone who will make a profit from their dead child — a memory that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.”

The next time you hear of the “hard cases,” please remind people that every crisis pregnancy is difficult for the mother. If you believe these cases are hard, you’re correct — they are extremely hard for the mother. But if you choose abortion, it’s an impossible situation for the baby. The mom needs love, support and understanding, not the pain of allowing herself to be violated again in order to kill her child. Regardless of the circumstances, regardless of the pain involved, that helpless, innocent child has no voice, no defense, and no chance, unless we offer real love and real compassion to the mother.

My abortion was over five years ago. God is still healing me, but it has been a difficult fight. I hesitated to write to you because, although I’m actively pro-life, very few people know my story. It’s still very difficult to share with people, however, I wanted to encourage you in your uncompromising stand for life.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3) God bless you.

Originally published in The Post-Abortion Review 2(1) Winter 1993.

Elliot Institute, PO Box 7348, Springfield, IL 62791-7348

Additional material is posted at www.afterabortion.org

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Woman Who Was Raped and Became Pregnant Is Grateful She Had Her Child

“Abortion – Not Even When the Pregnancy Is the Result of Rape?” Pamphlet by American life league, Inc., 1995

A woman who was raped and had a child wrote a letter to the editor:

“Consider my beautiful daughter, Jessica. She is eight months old, has no teeth but a full head of hair and seems to be developing a fondness for Apple juice. She is loved by me, her grandparents, her uncle and her two sisters more than words can say.

She is also a child conceived during a rape.

I was raped in 1992. I did my civic duty and reported the rape. I worked with the assistant district attorney to prosecute my assailant. He was eventually pronounced “not guilty” because date rape is difficult to prove.

When I discovered I was pregnant from the assault, I was horrified. I debated long and hard over what choice I should make.

Common sense would dictate that an abortion was the answer, right? Wrong. No matter how hideous my child’s conception had been (and rape is a degrading, demoralizing act that alters one’s whole life), I knew that there was a life growing inside me. I chose to accept this child is being my baby – not the rapist’s. My friends and family supported me 100%, but the choice was mine to make and I know I made the right one.

All children are gifts from God. It makes no difference how they are conceived.

I feared I would see my rapist’s face every time I looked at my child – but I don’t. I see a beautiful, happy, little girl who wasn’t planned and wasn’t the result of an act of love – but nonetheless is loved very, very much.”

Tamara L Roleff. Abortion: Opposing Viewpoints (San Diego, Greenhaven Press, 1997) 137-138

 

 

 

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