Man pushes partner’s abortion: “I have skin in the game”

Josh Healey, who got his partner pregnant, wanted her to have an abortion even though she initially wanted to have the baby. Healey says:

“I knew this was a woman’s right and that I was supposed to be supportive, strong and sensitive right off the bat, but I was also thinking about my own selfish desires. It was like, “Wow, I literally have skin in the game.”

She ended up having an abortion.

Angelina Chapin “8 Men on What It Was Like When Their Partner Had an Abortion” Mel

visited 10/2/2017

Share on Facebook

Aborted baby’s father encouraged an abortion

Leo Mara tells the story of his partner’s abortion:

“Life in the mid-1960s was basically one continuous party. It was a pretty messed-up time, and there were a lot of drugs. I never got into heroin or anything like that, but I did do LSD, mescaline, glue in a bag and pretty much whatever else came along. And the first thing I thought about in the morning was, “Where’s the next hit?”

Then one of his girlfriends, Sandy, got pregnant:

“I didn’t want to bring the life we were living to an end and get a 9-to-5 kind of thing. …

I was leading the path to getting an abortion, which was difficult for Sandy to wrap her head around. She came from a very religious Catholic family and was initially leaning toward keeping the baby. I was more rational and said, “We’re too young.” … I was a strong personality and a hard person to argue with.

In our relationship, my thoughts and feelings were the ones that got followed rather than hers. I might have been afraid that if I gave Sandy more of a chance to express herself, she would’ve talked me into it.

I didn’t force her, but in the end, she agreed an abortion was the right move.”

Angelina Chapin “8 Men on What It Was Like When Their Partner Had an Abortion” Mel

visited 10/2/2017

Would Sandy have had an abortion if he had not pressured her? it seems unlikely.  He says he didn’t force her, but he was the one to convince her. She initially wanted the baby, but he did exert it. he didn’t want to change his carefree, drug taking lifestyle. Sandy was left with the emotional scars.

Share on Facebook

Jacinta’s story

Jacinta had an abortion. She tells her story of seven years of grief:

“The pain and despair I felt for the past seven years has been my own private hell. I didn’t realize that my behavior for those past seven years was due to the suppression of the pain and guilt I felt from the moment I knew I was pregnant… When I told the father of the baby he was cold and uncaring. He just told me it’s not a baby and it’s just a bunch of cells and that I’m going to have to get rid of it before it was too late. My heart and mind just were so torn, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to have an abortion! It was his idea, and I felt that I couldn’t have this baby when he didn’t want it.

He told me that I would destroy his life by keeping this baby. He made me feel so guilty that I felt I had no other alternative but to abort my precious baby… I held my belly and told my precious baby it will be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you.

Two days later I broke my promise to my precious baby. My partner had badgered me to the point I couldn’t deal with him anymore and the baby was the innocent victim in all this.

The hardest thing for me to accept for seven years was that I couldn’t and didn’t fight for my baby. The day that my baby died was a day I’ll remember forever in its entirety. My partner bought me flowers the night before to try and say sorry for putting me through this life-changing event.

At the clinic two days prior to booking me in for the abortion, my partner told me to lie about everything so they wouldn’t suspect I completely disagreed with having the abortion or they may not allow me to have it. The way I was treated I could’ve said anything and they still would’ve booked me in for the abortion. I did as I was asked and lied to the counselor who had only graduated five weeks prior and wasn’t much older than I was, namely 22 years. I saw no way of changing the situation. In fact the pain and shame I felt has now been suppressed for seven years and it has been so strong it resulted in me having three breakdowns, a lost relationship, lost career.… I was consumed with my partner and making him happy, his happiness at the expense of my sanity and self-respect.”

Anne R Lastman Redeeming Grief: Abortion and Its Pain (Balwyn, Vic: Australia: Gracewing, 2013) 208 – 209

Share on Facebook

Father pressures 15-year-old into abortion

A pro-life author tells the story of a 15 year old girl who was forced to have an abortion by her father:

“After the very emotional telling her parents experience, she found herself caught between a mom who wanted to send her to a pregnancy home with adoption as the end result and a father who wanted to hide the embarrassing problem with a simple abortion. Dad put his foot down and took her to what he called a “special doctor” who took care of the problem.

But to this girl, it was not a problem to be dealt with or given away. It was a baby that was ripped from her heart and womb. With an exchange of money for a service, her dad was free of the embarrassing problem. He got back to his drinking, and she was left emotionally scarred. In secret, she blamed herself and spent many hours and nights crying over the loss of her baby. To this day she wonders if her dad had heard the beating heart of his unborn grandchild, would it have made a difference?”

Mike G Williams Thank You for Saving My Life (2016) 74 – 75

Share on Facebook

Forced to abort by mother and counselor, woman grieves

Pro-life feminist Frederica Mathewes-Green tells the story of a young woman’s forced abortion:

“Becky says that she had at first resolved to have the baby. But her mother took her to a counselor, ordering her to wait in the reception room while the two of them conferred. When they called Becky in, she was told that the counselor and her mother had agreed that Becky should have an abortion. Her mom added, “If you continue this pregnancy, you can’t live in my house.”

Becky was stunned, but at a loss for alternatives. She had a vague idea that there might be places for rejected pregnant women to go – “there were some Catholic maternity homes, somewhere” – but had neither the resources nor the self-confidence to track down that possibility. She had the abortion. Eight years later, she is still grieving: “I was already attached to that baby.”

Frederica Mathewes-Green Real Choices: Listening to Women, Looking for Alternatives to Abortion (Felicity Press; 3 edition, April 16, 2013) Kindle version

Share on Facebook

Husband tells wife not to have her baby

A woman who had an abortion talked about another woman she met at the clinic:

“She was Catholic. She had two boys. They lived in a two-bedroom apartment. Her husband worked; she didn’t. She very much wanted a girl. When she got pregnant, her husband said, ‘You cannot have this baby. We cannot afford it.’ He made her go and have the abortion. It was horrible for her because she wanted her girl….She was so clear and so sure that she was going against the Church and going against her basic instincts. It was just horrible for her…”

Cara J. Marianna Abortion: A Collective Story (Westport, CT: Praeger, 2002) 31

Share on Facebook

Pressures from others influenced minor’s abortions

From a study:

“Pressure from parents, sexual partners, and peer group members were particularly influential with younger adolescents. Such factors totally dominated the decisions of adolescents who had failed to establish relative independence from parental object or to achieve some degree of object constancy.”

P Barglow & S. Weinstein “Therapeutic abortion during adolescence: Psychiatric observations” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 2(4) 1973

Catherine Coyle “Coercion and/or Pressure” in Rachel M. MacNair, editor Peace Psychology Perspectives on Abortion (Kansas City, MO: Feminism & Nonviolence Studies Association, 2016)

Share on Facebook

Some minors having abortions were forced by parents

According to a study:

“Among the minors whose parents found out [about the pregnancy] without being told by the minor, 18% said their parents were forcing them to have an abortion, and 6% reported physical violence.”

S Henshaw & K. Kost “Parental Involvement in minors’ abortion decisions” Family Planning Perspectives 25(4) 1992

Catherine Coyle “Coercion and/or Pressure” Rachel M. MacNair, editor Peace Psychology Perspectives on Abortion (Kansas City, MO: Feminism & Nonviolence Studies Association, 2016)

Share on Facebook

Woman has abortion because of her husband

From a woman who had an abortion:

“I can’t remember now if I did a home pregnancy test, but I did have an ‘official’ one at university health services. My marriage was faltering badly at the time and my husband was furious and depressed when I told him I was pregnant. He told me he didn’t want anything to do with raising another child. When I realized he was serious and how at-risk I was as an unemployed mother of two young children, I agreed to have an abortion, though it was not a choice I would have made if the marriage had been stable.”

Helen Susan Edelman, “Safe to Talk: Abortion Narratives as a Rite of Return,” Journal of American Culture 19, no. 4 (1996)

Share on Facebook

Doctor manipulates woman into abortion to avoid lawsuit

Pro-Life activist Mark Crutcher told one woman’s story:

“…we worked with a woman from Virginia who told us she had been trying to get pregnant for several years and her OB/GYN was fully aware of this. She said that when she finally became pregnant, she was stunned to find him aggressively pushing her to abort, saying her baby had problems that were “incompatible with life” and that giving birth might also kill her.

This went on for days but, despite the pressure this physician and his staff were exerting on her, she made it clear that she would never consider an abortion. At that point, the doctor began calling her at home and criticizing her for being insensitive to the pain her baby was going to needlessly suffer. He also began calling her husband at work telling him that his child was already doomed and that, unless an abortion was performed, he may also lose his wife. After many days of pressure from both a doctor and her husband, the woman reluctantly gave in and had the abortion.

An independent pathology report done after the abortion identified her child as a “completely normal fetus with no indications of health problems.” Upon learning this, the woman went into a deep depression and soon afterward she and her husband divorced. She eventually developed severe psychological problems, became suicidal, and had to be placed in a lockdown psychiatric hospital.

What her attorney discovered was that, two weeks prior to her pregnancy being diagnosed, she had come to the same doctor with flu–like symptoms. Her medical records showed that, not only was no pregnancy test performed, but she was never even asked if she might be pregnant. The chart also showed that the doctor gave her a prescription for a drug that its manufacturer says should never be given to pregnant women because it can cause severe birth defects. When she returned two weeks later and her pregnancy was diagnosed, a nurse recognized what had happened and warned the doctor this may have led to the patient’s baby being handicapped.

We were able to establish a timeline showing that this was the point at which the doctor and his staff began coercing the woman to have the abortion. As we reviewed this case further, three revealing things jumped out at us. First, no tests were conducted to determine whether the baby actually had any problems, and second, nothing in the file indicated that continuing the pregnancy posed a risk to the woman.

The third thing was that, even though the doctor was a board-certified OB/GYN and fully capable of doing the abortion himself, he insisted that the patient pick out an independent abortion clinic on her own and have it performed there. Obviously, this was done to ensure that if any legal action ensued as a result of the way the pregnancy was handled, the doctor would have a second defendant to the point that finger at. In legal terms, this is called “contributory negligence” and asserting it is a common tactic used by defense attorneys in medical malpractice cases where more than one entity is involved.

These issues, combined with other details about the way this woman was treated, made it undeniable that she was browbeaten into this abortion in order to eliminate the physician’s exposure to a lawsuit.”

Mark Crutcher Siege: Pro-Life Field Manual (Denton, Texas: Life Dynamics Inc., 2015) 25 – 26

Share on Facebook