I wish I could turn back time, I wish I would have made a better decision. I was in my early 20’s, I’m 37 now, mother of three beautiful daughters. I’ve never seen pictures like those on your site before. I wish I had of, because I would not have killed my baby. And I believe that’s what it is now – a killing – murder.
They told me that the baby wouldn’t feel anything, they told me it was okay to do it. Can you believe they told me that, and the baby was more than 16 weeks! they removed all the fluid and I was put into labour for the next 4-5 hrs or so, with a (probably) dead baby inside of me. They had me extremely drugged up, but I still remember phoning my family and friends all night from my hospital bed – I was crying so much. I’m so sorry baby, Oh my god, I wouldn’t have done it had I known the truth.
I wanted the abortion because I was a IV Drug abuser – very heavily involved in it. Also, I couldn’t have the baby’s father around anymore, because he was becoming violent. I thought the best choice was to let go of the baby, send him back to God, if you will. I thought it was the best decision – I didn’t know any better. I already had a two year old at the time…my mother took care of her most of the time. Now I’m the mom of three, and I’m clean and sober, although in bad health, but hanging in there. Loving my children so much, and trying to be the best mom I can be.
I am crying so much right now, because of the photographs on your site. I’m angry that they are there – well I was angry, but now I’m just feeling sad and guilty. How could I do such a disgusting thing to that sweet little baby?
I remember that i had to go to the washroom alot after they removed the fluid from the uterus, and they told me to put this large measuring cup across the toilet so that the baby wouldn’t fall in the toilet. At one point, some volunteers came in the room with magazines and I got up to get one, when I started bleeding profusely …there was blood everywhere. The volunteers ran to call the nurses and they told me to hurry to the toilet, and I did. I sat down, forgetting to put the measuring cup on the toilet, and the baby fell out – the baby fell right out of me and into the toilet. One of the nurses got mad at me and told me to go to lay down.
I am so sorry baby – I would never had done it had I known any better. So now I’ve seen your pictures and now I know that my baby was a “real baby” with arms and legs and everything else. What kind of person can do such a thing. It makes me hate myself. I hate myself for doing that. I didn’t want to put him up for adoption though, because I was adopted and I couldn’t put that kind of pain onto my own child. I couldn’t carry a baby for 9 months and then just let him go to strangers! Now I would, after seeing the truth. Or maybe I could have kept him, and my mom could have help me, just like she did for my other child.
Please put this letter up on your site…Please show others how terribly wrong it was for me to do this. I want to help. I will never promote abortion again. I’ve always thought that it was nobody’s business what women did with their bodies – Now I do not believe that anymore. I am now on your side.
Do you think that little baby I aborted many years ago, forgives me? Do you believe that he can see me from heaven and that he knows I was his mom? I need to know that I’ve been forgiven for this.
I want to help spread the truth. Please tell me how I can help.
Thank you for showing me the truth – thank you so much,
Victoria
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