“I’m from Colorado. I was 20, I was pregnant, I was scared, and I was looking for answers. And at first, I did not regret the day that I made that fateful decision to walk through the abortionist’s doorway. But I was a vulnerable victim to whom they professionally targeted and marketed their ghastly, deadly procedure.
I felt helpless as I was subjected to their heavy-handed, high-pressured sales pitch. No matter what soul-searching question I asked, terminating my pregnancy was always their consistent answer. I was given a package deal, and they convinced me that the abortion deal for the low, low cost of $300 cash was the answer to all my problems. I soon realized that they sold it as a package that was prettily wrapped with a great big bow on top, but it was a package that was full to the brim of lies, exploitation, and death.
They told me it was a blob of tissue. They lied. I grieved the baby I lost. They told me that this was the best thing for me. They lied. My abortion devastated me emotionally, physically and psychologically. They told me I would not regret my decision. They lied. I regret the loss of my baby every day of my life. I was never told I would suffer subsequent miscarriages. I had five. I was never told that an abortion might result in a subsequent unhealthy baby. I had a special needs son who died at the age of 7. I was never told that the trauma of my experience would live with me over and over and over and over, and that the regrets and the guilt would drain me day and night.
And I sought solace in denial. And my denial brought about rage. And my rage brought about severe relationship issues with my husband, with my children, with my family. Having an abortion ended the life of my unborn baby, and it ended the normal semblance of a life that I had previously known.
Having an abortion didn’t end my problems like they said it would. They lied. It was just the beginning of my problems.
And I want America to know this. That many women like me take years to understand and acknowledge their grief after an abortion. Like me, they go into denial, and different events can trigger the acknowledgment. The death of my 7-year-old son triggered mine. And living through that grieving experience made me realize that I had actually been grieving the loss of my baby 13 years prior. For 13 years I thought that emotional consequences were only for weak women, not for strong women like me.
For 13 years I thought that I had escaped the brutal ravages of abortion. For 13 years I remained silent in my shame. But I will remain silent no more. There are hurting women like I was who are walking wounded, and they are wounded from their guilt, they are wounded from their shame, they are wounded with despondency, and we need to realize that America gave us this fatal choice, and now she needs to hear our voice.
And the abortion industry will continue to lie, with the blood on their hands and the cash in their pockets, that terminating a pregnancy doesn’t have severe, life-long consequences. But, I will scream the truth from the rooftops if I have to, that abortion hurts women. Abortion brings torment. Abortion exploits women, and abortion victimizes women. Abortion stopped the beating heart of my baby, and it broke the heart of this mother. And I will boldly state the truth and be silent no more.”
Federal News Service Inc.
Justice Foundation Press Conference: 1-18-2005