Woman “fine with her abortion” – until 19 years later

One postabortion woman wrote:

“In 1994, I was with a small group of women, and we were sharing our struggles with one another. One young woman expressed how she had been struggling to bond with her newborn son. She said she had an abortion in college and felt it was why she couldn’t bond with her baby. She said she was going through abortion recovery counseling. I told her I had an abortion when I was 16, and it was no big deal. I said she simply needed to get over it.

About six months later an experience in my basement forced me to recall that conversation. I was cleaning out boxes, and I found my yearbook from my junior year in high school. I picked it up, thinking I’d take a quick stroll down memory lane, but something strange happened. Instead of opening the book and seeing the kids’ faces, the yearbook felt like a baby, my baby. I knew instantly it was my child that I had aborted. I knew she was a little girl. I could feel her resting in my hands. And I knew that I had missed out on parenting a wonderful person, who would have brought a lot of joy into the world.

For the first time in nineteen years, as I felt my baby’s presence in my arms, I realized the full impact of my abortion. And I began to cry. As I cried, I recalled the conversation from six months earlier and I immediately called the woman who spoke about her abortion. Through my sobs, I said I needed help. She came to my house and sat with me while I wept and began to grieve for my aborted baby….

[F]or 19 years I denied my abortion and any feelings about it. If asked about my opinion on abortion I would have said “I’m fine with my choice.” However when my walls of denial came down around me as I felt my baby in my arms, my pain and guilt were very real and I have found many women dealing with the emotional consequences of abortion with similar experiences. There is a sub-culture in our society that is dealing with the pain of abortion usually in secrecy. More than 15 books have been published on this issue and at least twenty-one abortion recovery programs exist nationwide. Abortion doctors fail to warn and prepare women for the psychological damage of abortion. Abortion creates a psychological dysfunction from the traumatic experience resulting in intense fear, the feeling of helplessness or being trapped, and loss of control.

The Reality of Abortion: Reflections on my Journey August 11, 2008. Visited 9/8/2017

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About Sarah

Sarah Terzo is a freelance writer and journalist who works for Live Action. She is a member of the board of The Pro-life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians and Consistent Life.
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