My name is Christy. When I was 17 I had an abortion. I'm 28 now. I feel like God has a special plan regarding me and that; my baby. I want to help anyone any way that I can.

This is not what your going to want to hear if you are suffering but, if you have not decided yet maybe I can help. Eleven long years have passed and I can honestly say that up until 2 years ago I was still haunted several times a week. NINE years and still so fresh. I had all of the same problems abusive boyfriend, young, in school, Christian family. I also had the help of the wonderfully cold and pushy planned parent hood. I truly believed up until the moment that I was drugged that I would not go through with it. I cried that day and almost every day since. I dreamed of a little blonde haired boy. I know that it was him. I call him Casey to myself. I went on to be very hateful, depressed, angry and sad. I got pregnant again he is now 7 and I married his father when I was 4 months along. Then I had a little girl now 3. Then of all things when I thought I was done! I found out that I was pregnant again and circumstances were none to ideal either! He is now 2. I feel like God was testing me. When I told other people that I was pregnant and how upset I was that I did not think that I could handle another pregnancy let alone another child, God sent me a gift. Some one told me that it had been put on their heart to tell me that I had been forgiven and redeemed and that this baby was even more special and an even bigger gift from God. You have to ask for forgiveness. You have to accept forgiveness. Every baby that has had to endure this horrific crime against humanity is now blessed and with the lord their maker. It is our job as one of the living wounded victims, to keep it from happening again and again. Pray! Get on your knees, cry, yell, talk to God, talk to your baby, make a promise to that precious child that their death will not be in vain. Guilt is just a vehicle for the devil to continue to hurt you. After eleven years I know enough about guilt. It will wreck you and everything you come in contact with. It makes you mean even to your living children. Remember being pregnant under any circumstances is not the sin, the circumstances AND abortion are! I am going to dedicate my life to changing the way people see these little ones, even if only to save one. I just look at my 2 year old and know that I have to it could have been him. I hope that I have encouraged some of you and helped with decisions with others in your times of need. God loves you and your baby. He breathed the very life into all of our lungs at one time. We are of him and he can bless Any circumstances. God Bless and keep you.

Christy

From a letter to a pro-life website. Note: Religious beliefs may not be endorsed by website owner