Postabortion father: I think about the baby every day

A man named Matthew told the following story:

“In early 1975, when I was 20, I fell in love with a girl who was two years my senior. …. I had had relationships with girls before… but this was the first time I had been in love and it hit me like a mallet… In July 1975 we found out that she was pregnant. I was happy about it and thought with love and the support of our parents, which I was sure we’d get, we would be able to cope…

After a short amount of deliberation, she decided to have an abortion. It was she who was pregnant, it was her body, and she didn’t want to sacrifice her career for the sake of bringing up a baby that would have a poor start in life.”

The interviewer says:

Matthew argued that they could manage but his girlfriend was adamant. … Matthew started drinking afterwards. After the abortion, the relationship deteriorated…. By the New Year, they had split up.

Matthew met someone else; his former girlfriend pursued her career as a social worker, never married or had children. Matthew did marry and had three children. He sobered up and became a very devoted father. But he never quite got over the abortion.

“I still think of that abortion – nearly every day – and will do until the day I die. I have lit a candle in the church and prayed for the soul of my child and for forgiveness in consenting to its murder. This has brought me some peace. Hardly any attention has been paid to men who suffer as a result of abortion.… It is a real feeling that we have done wrong.”

Mary Kenny Abortion: The Whole Story (London: Quartet Books, 1986)  76 – 77

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About Sarah

Sarah Terzo is a freelance writer and journalist who works for Live Action. She is a member of the board of The Pro-life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians and Consistent Life.
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