Partner in abortion clinic describes his “confusion”

Tom, whose girlfriend is having an abortion, said:

“The women here mostly looked distressed, worried, sad. But the men all looked different. One looked sorrowful, one looked guilty, one angry; one was asleep, one absent. The man’s part in an abortion is defined by uncertainty. In the absence of positive role models (if such role models are conceivable) and clear feedback of any kind, I felt very much alone with my feelings.

How am I supposed to respond to all this? I wondered at the time. I didn’t like the apparent emotional choices offered by the men around me, and the grave waiting lounge implicitly forbade conversation with anyone but the person with whom you had come.

I felt uncomfortable, awkward, out of place, but I also felt I should be there. I couldn’t bring myself to share these qualms with my girl. She was having the operation, after all. How could I complain about my mere uneasiness when she was about to go through the physical discomfort of an abortion?”’

Carole Dornblaser and Uta Landy, PhD The Abortion Guide: A Handbook for Women and Men (Rockville Center, New York: Playboy Paperbacks 1982) 79

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About Sarah

Sarah is a member of the board of The Pro-life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians.
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