Father fails to stop abortion, mourns the loss of his aborted child

A man who got his girlfriend pregnant saw his baby on the ultrasound screen at a crisis pregnancy center:

 “Our child was at 8 weeks gestation and had fingers, toes, eyes, everything. I saw and heard my child’s heart beat and I cried. It was a very overwhelming and beautiful experience for me, until she looked over at me and said: “What are you crying about? Worms have heartbeats too”

8 weeks

8 weeks

The woman decided to have an abortion:

Her sister had offered to pay $500 for her to get an abortion. She insisted she was going to get the abortion, was planning to get one that weekend, and broke up with me right before.

I called the abortion clinic and asked what my rights were; they said “You don’t have any”. I then asked them, “What do you do with the aborted babies? I want to bury my child”. They told me that it wasn’t a child, it was a fetus, and to never call again or they would involve the police. My hands were tied. I, as a father had no legal right to protect my child from a death committed by a “doctor”. I called everyone imaginable to see what my rights were and I got the same answer: “nothing”.

The week before my child was aborted; I went to try one more time to ask the mother of my child to not do this. But she was adamant about having an abortion, and told me to leave. So I then asked her if I could do one thing before I left, she told me that was fine. I then got on my knees and kissed the stomach of the mother of my child and said “I love you, and Daddy will see you in heaven”. I then took the ultrasound pictures and left.

He says:

The day my child was aborted was a very painful day for me. I was informed that my child had been aborted in the afternoon on December 2nd, 2006. It was the most painful experience I have ever been through. My relationship ended with the woman that I thought I was going to marry, and I lost my first child. I didn’t want to go on; I was in too much pain. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I had nightmares of my child being aborted. The day after my child was aborted, I went to see my pastor and he suggested that I have a memorial for my unborn child. I took his advice, and had one the following Sunday at his church. I had my parents and a few friends come. It was a short ceremony, but very painful. I never thought that my child would meet God before I did.

After that day things were still very painful. I still couldn’t sleep or eat, and thoughts of suicide filled my head every waking hour. I joined Bible studies, and post abortion Bible studies as much as possible. Those were the only people that would understand. There were times that I wouldn’t even receive support at church. A man is really not allowed to grieve the loss of his unborn baby. I was told things like: “Your child wasn’t even born, so get over it”, “It wasn’t a baby yet”, or even people saying “Your child deserved to die”. None of those things helped me heal and just put me in more of a state of depression.

On the day of his child’s due date, he went to New York to reach out to couples having abortions. He says he helped save 100 babies.  He is now involved in the pro-life movement.

“I had to Kiss my Child, GOODBYE” 911 babies

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About Sarah

Sarah Terzo is a freelance writer and journalist who works for Live Action. She is a member of the board of The Pro-life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians and Consistent Life.
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